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The Most Common Last Words-of Men

"Just put more gas on it."

"It can't be that hard."

And one I've said (unfortunately) "Anybody got a cell phone?"
 
I don't think it's plugged in....

Cut the red wire or the blue wire. Eeny meeney miney mo...

Nah, it's not loaded...
 
"That's the cutest bear cub I've ever seen. Give me the camera. I'm gonna get a close-up shot."

I had to smack my buddy in the back of the head after he uttered nearly the same exact sentence. He also tried it with a moose. And that is why we don't bring beer with us while camping in the north woods.
 
I bet a 44 really doesn't kick that much. You can hold it with one hand..
You can out run that cop your car is really fast..
Why don't we stop at every bar from one end of town to the other and have a beer and a shot.

The sad part is that I have heard almost all of these..
 
"Can't be that hard."
"Naahhh, don't worry, I got it."
"Here, I'll show you, hold my stuff and admire."
"Honestly, dude, what's the worst that could happen."
"Seriously, I won't need a ride to the hospital after this."
"I will hate myself if I don't do it."
"'Ti'll only be a scratch."
"Yeah, sure, seems easy."
"It is no match for me."
"Sure, I'll do it."
Was part of a Jackass-esque company of friends when I was in university.
 
Me saying "I'm no b!tch" resulted in 2 holes in my arm with the tissue from inside pulled out of the holes, me passing out, and an ambulance response once...
 
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