How do you deal with a bad breakup?

[etakmit]

1. Time goes by and you feel better about it.
2. You find there are always other fish in the sea.

None of us have the right answer for YOU. For me after eight + years (2 of it being married) I just got busy and by busy I mean I did things, lots of things. Some sober, some not. But I just kept moving. Sure I was sad and lonely for a bit but I hung with friends that I hadn't had the chance to, played more volleyball, worked a bit more and just tried to enjoy the extra freedom.

Eventually I was in the right frame of mind to move on. The best part was, I had learned from that previous relationship what I needed and wanted in a ladyfriend and the second one I was with after the divorce is now my wife (and we have an amazing 9 month old). This is a second marriage for both of us. We're on five years married now and almost eight years together.

 

[Smoothie]

Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one.

And I am serious about that, it's true. Having said that, you don't want to rush into a serious relationship until you are ready, or you will just bring baggage to it. But go out with friends a lot, either male or female, and try to do fun social stuff. After my last breakup I spent too long sitting at home by myself feeling sad, and it did become a habit. It was only once I started to get out that I started to feel better.

Yeah, that's the trick... ! or the quickest way I think.

As soon as you get some attention from other ladies you realize having options is also a good thing.

You'll be alright buddy. Just don't turn to the bottle too much.

 

[freebird0064]

Depends are there kids involved or joint property? If not walk away before things get really ugly. Take a short vacation Then start life again. I've gone through two divorces. I don't see why some people get so mean to each other. If it isn't working, go your separate ways.

 

[Screech8710]

Sorry you hit a rough road.

Do what works for you, what you need to do to recover.

Keep in mind that it is unhealthy to bottle up the emotions. Find a healthy way to process it all, whether that be with a minister, a counselor, a family member, or a close friend. The key is to process it, not vent in an unhealthy manner. Then, take some time for yourself and allow yourself to recover and come back.

 

[Donnchadh_Sempill]

Since nobody else has said it, I will. BUY MORE RAZORS.

Seriously. This is your chance to re-brand yourself. As said earlier...work some extra hours. Worst case, get a disposable second job (I.e. one you can quit at the drop of a hat...and never mention on a resume). Then spend as much spare time and money as you can on your favorite hobbies (I assume that, since you're here, vintage razors is high on that list). Display your passion proudly in your new man cave. Perhaps you'll meet the right one in an antique shop...or hunting for her own prizes at a flea market. Go out a few times...eventually invite her to the cave for dinner. She'll be wowed by your collection(s)...maybe even impressed by the fact that your Pinaud Clubman reminds her of her grandpa. That's when you know you found the right one.

My point is, find you...and be you. The right one is out there waiting to bump into you...and she'll be exactly where you want to be.

Don't rush it...and stay off the internet!

 

[Razhian]

Since nobody else has said it, I will. BUY MORE RAZORS.

Seriously. This is your chance to re-brand yourself. As said earlier...work some extra hours. Worst case, get a disposable second job (I.e. one you can quit at the drop of a hat...and never mention on a resume). Then spend as much spare time and money as you can on your favorite hobbies (I assume that, since you're here, vintage razors is high on that list). Display your passion proudly in your new man cave. Perhaps you'll meet the right one in an antique shop...or hunting for her own prizes at a flea market. Go out a few times...eventually invite her to the cave for dinner. She'll be wowed by your collection(s)...maybe even impressed by the fact that your Pinaud Clubman reminds her of her grandpa. That's when you know you found the right one.

My point is, find you...and be you. The right one is out there waiting to bump into you...and she'll be exactly where you want to be.

Don't rush it...and stay off the internet!

That sounds like great advice TBH!

 

[andyr]

Country music.

 

[HolmerJ]

I have a divorce under my belt. Caught my girl and my best friend together. When your knee deep in the crap, and the immediate aftermath, it sucks. But as time goes on, when you take an honest look at how things really were, you'll come to realise how distorted your perception was. Believe it or not you'll probably be much happier in the long run. I had a friend that was going through this, and EVERYONE could see it coming. He couldn't though because when your living it, it's like being in a fog. Yeah you can see some things, but an outsider sees how big that cloud really is. Dude don't screw around, go see a psychiatrist. Do what you gotta do and move on. Seeing a shrink isn't what it used to be. They don't want or even need to hear your life story. It's like a 15 min. apt. If there is a problem the shrink thinks needs to be addressed, then address it and move on. Life is to short to waist on someone that doesn't appreciate or deserve you.

If that doesn't work, then there's the Man Code classic, get the boys together and hit the ***** bar routine!

 

[Joezamboni]

Fighting is the worst, certain things cannot be changed and if that's the case they need to be accepted and move on. I dated a drunk once and I quickly learned that lesson. As I got older I gave the "wild" women less of my attention, it got to the point where I would go on a date or two and just walk away sometimes if they didn't meet certain standards and compatibility. I also improved myself mentally and physically and looked for ways to make myself a happier person.

 

[brandaves]

There are tons of positive outlets you can use to get through a tough time. I'm a Mason and I volunteer for the Boy Scouts of America as an assistant scoutmaster. Those things help me to keep issues from arising in my own marriage. Perhaps what SWMBO meant when she suggested that you work more hours wasn't exactly that, maybe what she needed was some space. I know my wife and I would both go crazy if we didn't have interests out side of one another. Maybe she needs you to find something that will allow her some time to indulge an interest of her own. You will be at your best for her when you have your own interests beyond her and she will be her best for you if she has the same. Nurture each other's individuality and you'll be surprised at how much it can heal both you and her. Problem's arise when you on or the other of you tries to convert the other to their interests if they just aren't shared. Give this a shot. She'll respond to your passion for something outside of the relationship, encourage her to do the same. Best of luck my friend.