Guys can be gross, according to girls.

[FarmerTan]

Yes and yes. And the lost part of the tale, despite my bloviation, can't be that the good wife drives the good man to the boondocks and is forced to observe, "This is why I can't take you anywhere," as he expresses bafflement.

I see you've met my wife....

 

[luvmysuper]

My in laws had a beagle that would eat off anyone’s plate if they forgot to push their chair in when they left the table. That dog led a normal healthy life so I guess that’s testimony to the safety of eating second hand food. Now if you’re the kind of person that sticks the same finger into all the dressings at the salad bar to taste them that’s another story. If you use a different finger each time it makes all the difference. That’s acceptable. It’s a fine line between acceptable and gross.

Not too sure I'd take dietary advice from an animal that licks its butt and drinks from the toilet!

 

[Shaveprentice]

Awesome! Not at all gross, simply being observant and resourceful! For most of human history no one would have left that pizza uneaten! One could say that you are simply a keen observer of history and tradition!

When I was in college one of my buddies found a day or two old partially eaten hamburger in the trunk of his car that he had mistakenly left there and he proceeded to eat it. Amazingly he didn't get sick or suffer any ill effects!

 

[DrStrange]

So this here is a 100% true story, which is rare for me. Here goes....blame my twin brother @Messygoon if you want, I was just bein' me, and he asked for this true story. I strongly encourage you to stop reading now if'n yer a sissy.

Probably, Oh, 13 years ago or so my lovely bride, who was homeskoolin' my only begotten, belonged to a co-op teaching thing, and we had a "Field Trip" to a Maple Sugar Tree Farm. There was an old picture there, over 100 years old of the original shack, and the owner took me out to see the tree in the old photo. That tree really hadn't grown that much, to be honest. All my sugar maple trees grow like weeds; this had to be what old timers around here call a Rock Maple.

Anyway, that ain't got nothing to do with anything. After you have stood around in the woods on a typical cold, damp, overcast day in Michigan's Thumb region, you are ready to go about 20 minutes after you get there.

So we drive (my wife did. I get lost on my way to the bathroom) into the nearest town to eat lunch. It was a little town, like EVERY town in the Thumb. It had one restaurant, a Pizzaria. And it smelled delicious, and it was busy.

So we go in, probably 50 people, or roughly the size of the towns population. And it's mostly to go folks, lunch time crowd I guess. And we all start grabbing seats while the women go stand in line to order pizza.

And then this one table with three clean looking people sitting at it gets up and leaves. AND THEY LEAVE three slices of pizza on the metal tray on a stand in the middle of the table! Just leave it there!

Well, y'all know I'm about 1/2 Scotch (and yes, the other half soda) so I'm not about to leave that pizza alone.

Here's the part that the War Department says is "gross"..... and a bad example for impressionable young minds. I'd been watching these clean looking people for about 5 minutes. In all that time, not one of them coughed, sneezed, or picked their teeth OR their nose.

So I grabbed a piece of the leftover pizza and commenced to eatin' it. And my bride commenced to tellin' me (loudly) how it was a bad example, and gross, etc, ad nauseam.

The boys all laughed as I recall, the girls all made gagging noises, and none of the Dad's or anyone else fought me for the pizza. I got it all, it was delicious, and it didn't kill me.

I still contend that I did nothing wrong. May have even helped save the planet. What say you all?

Have any of YOU gentlemen ever been falsely accused of being "gross?"

I also use that "saving planet" line whenever I eat something
that someone else would thrown away.

 

[Ratso]

I also use that "saving planet" line whenever I eat something
that someone else would thrown away.

Save the planet as long as you didn’t expel methane into the atmosphere after eating that pizza.

 

[Jbird45]

Im pretty sure that pizza was safer than the pizza when you wake up with a hangover at 11AM and it has been sitting out unrefrigerated all night.

 

[Old Hippie]

Napkin?

"Serviette" if you're in Canada. That help?

O.H.

 

[FarmerTan]

Save the planet as long as you didn’t expel methane into the atmosphere after eating that pizza.

Man, I can assure you, I didn't have any Beano, so I'm as guilty as two steers....

 

[FarmerTan]

Im pretty sure that pizza was safer than the pizza when you wake up with a hangover at 11AM and it has been sitting out unrefrigerated all night.

Yep. You are 100% correct! None of those ever kilt me....!

 

[FarmerTan]

I also use that "saving planet" line whenever I eat something
that someone else would thrown away.

Yep. Makes me feel better when I am forced to take my private jet over to Travolta's place to go visit Tom Cruise!

 

[FarmerTan]

Not too sure I'd take dietary advice from an animal that licks its butt and drinks from the toilet!

Spending a night in jail is an opener. When I saw how the toilet and the water fountain worked in such close conjunction I figured I WAS fit to sleep with the dogs!

 

[Messygoon]

I am still giggling over this story.

A life full of friends who are free-spirited enough to eat orphaned slices of pizza is a blessed life. @FarmerTan, you are a gentleman and a scholar. I wish I would have been on the Thumb that day to join in the fun.

 

[luvmysuper]

Spending a night in jail is an opener. When I saw how the toilet and the water fountain worked in such close conjunction I figured I WAS fit to sleep with the dogs!

Not till you get the licking your own butt thing down!

 

[timetofly]

So this here is a 100% true story, which is rare for me. Here goes....blame my twin brother @Messygoon if you want, I was just bein' me, and he asked for this true story. I strongly encourage you to stop reading now if'n yer a sissy.

Probably, Oh, 13 years ago or so my lovely bride, who was homeskoolin' my only begotten, belonged to a co-op teaching thing, and we had a "Field Trip" to a Maple Sugar Tree Farm. There was an old picture there, over 100 years old of the original shack, and the owner took me out to see the tree in the old photo. That tree really hadn't grown that much, to be honest. All my sugar maple trees grow like weeds; this had to be what old timers around here call a Rock Maple.

Anyway, that ain't got nothing to do with anything. After you have stood around in the woods on a typical cold, damp, overcast day in Michigan's Thumb region, you are ready to go about 20 minutes after you get there.

So we drive (my wife did. I get lost on my way to the bathroom) into the nearest town to eat lunch. It was a little town, like EVERY town in the Thumb. It had one restaurant, a Pizzaria. And it smelled delicious, and it was busy.

So we go in, probably 50 people, or roughly the size of the towns population. And it's mostly to go folks, lunch time crowd I guess. And we all start grabbing seats while the women go stand in line to order pizza.

And then this one table with three clean looking people sitting at it gets up and leaves. AND THEY LEAVE three slices of pizza on the metal tray on a stand in the middle of the table! Just leave it there!

Well, y'all know I'm about 1/2 Scotch (and yes, the other half soda) so I'm not about to leave that pizza alone.

Here's the part that the War Department says is "gross"..... and a bad example for impressionable young minds. I'd been watching these clean looking people for about 5 minutes. In all that time, not one of them coughed, sneezed, or picked their teeth OR their nose.

So I grabbed a piece of the leftover pizza and commenced to eatin' it. And my bride commenced to tellin' me (loudly) how it was a bad example, and gross, etc, ad nauseam.

The boys all laughed as I recall, the girls all made gagging noises, and none of the Dad's or anyone else fought me for the pizza. I got it all, it was delicious, and it didn't kill me.

I still contend that I did nothing wrong. May have even helped save the planet. What say you all?

Have any of YOU gentlemen ever been falsely accused of being "gross?"

I don't know anything about gross, other than it is 144.
That story is funnier than hell! 1/2 scotch the other half soda.
LOVE IT!!
Great story Dave!

 

[FarmerTan]

I don't know anything about gross, other than it is 144.
That story is funnier than hell! 1/2 scotch the other half soda.
LOVE IT!!
Great story Dave!

It's mostly true too. As well as I remember. But the half Scotch bit I stole 40+ years ago from Robt. A. Heinlein.

Lol, who knows who he stole it from! Maybe Milton Berle?

 

[Doc4]

Here's the part that the War Department says is "gross"..... and a bad example for impressionable young minds. I'd been watching these clean looking people for about 5 minutes. In all that time, not one of them coughed, sneezed, or picked their teeth OR their nose.

So ... you sat down and spent at least 5 minutes eyeing the half-eaten pizza of the party two tables over closely enough to know that it was "pristine".

The "leftover grazing" isn't the bad part, it's the "dedicated stalker" bit beforehand that's worrying.

 

[FarmerTan]

So ... you sat down and spent at least 5 minutes eyeing the half-eaten pizza of the party two tables over closely enough to know that it was "pristine".

The "leftover grazing" isn't the bad part, it's the "dedicated stalker" bit beforehand that's worrying.

View attachment 1400006

I was thinking of "due diligence", to be honest.

Lots of folks think of me as reckless with my health, but TRUST me..... No one could see me: I was imitating a tall potted plant.

QUITE a stretch, with my incredibly handsome face and lack of green skin!

 

[Ratso]

I was thinking of "due diligence", to be honest.

Lots of folks think of me as reckless with my health, but TRUST me..... No one could see me: I was imitating a tall potted plant.

QUITE a stretch, with my incredibly handsome face and lack of green skin!

Okay time to put on my hip waders!

 

[FarmerTan]

Okay time to put on my hip waders!

I'm thinking we've met!

 

[oldbluelight]

In my younger days I used to earn a bit of pocket money as a waiter in a fancy restaurant. It was a long time between breaks and being on your feet all day builds an appetite. Let’s just say that not all of the left over food always made it into the bin.

As long as the people were clean and there where no actual bite marks in it, I’d say it was fair game. Your only mistake was getting caught.

Just don’t go picking food out of a trash cans. The 5 second rule does not apply to trash cans.

Well, it all depends....Many, many years ago I worked in a famous fast-food joint. The company had a rule that all sandwiches left in the bin at closing had to be thrown in the trash. We fully complied with that rule. The manager had a trash bucket that was reserved for use only at closing. It was washed out daily and only ever had fully wrapped burgers thrown in it at closing. The burgers spent maybe 7 seconds in it before being liberated so the night shift could enjoy a light dinner before finishing clean up.