I'm attending a wake/visitation (indoors) this evening and it got me thinking. Obviously, what juice to wear? But additionally, are there any general guidelines or points of etiquette to observe regarding fragrance use at such affairs? Almost immediately I decided there's nothing special or particular about it beyond the usual considerations for formal or semi-formal events, such as wearing whatever fragrance you choose in moderation. But then I went through my wardrobe and came up with a bunch that made me think twice, even if worn in moderation. For example, Bond No 9 Coney Island. Do I really want to smell like a sweet and salty margarita wit accents of chocolate, cinnamon and caramel (sounds aweful, I know, but you gotta try it!) when I'm surrounded by people going through one of the worst times of their lives? No, I don't. I imagine the same goes with most gourmands. Another one I have rervations about is Frapin L'Humaniste. It's kinda got a gin 'n' tonic thing going on, very light, airy, and summertimey. So that entire group/genre of light and fun summertime fragrances (e.g. Creed SMW, Bond Bleeker Street, Versace Man Eau Fraiche, etc.) is also up in the air. I don't know. What do you guys think about all this? I think I'll just go with old faithful Terre d'Hermes and be done with it. I was also thinking that many Montales and Amouages seem right for a funeral. I have common sense and can figure out what'll work and what won't, but I was just wondering what others think about this subject. Thanks.
Funeral fragrance etiquette?
- Thread starter KarlMaldensNose
- Start date
Something of incense or frankensience (sp???). I agree with the montales and amouages.
If you're gonna wear anything, I would think you'd want it to be something muted & understated. But if it was me, I don't know that I'd wear anything at all to a funeral, beyond whatever I used as an AS that day. At least, not to the service. But perhaps you could bring a small atomizer or sample vial of your chosen frag if there's going to be a gathering afterwards.
Unscented
I probably wouldn't wear anything.
I probably wouldn't either. I read an article on funeral appearance etiquette once, and it strictly said not to use the funeral as a fashion show.
- Thread starter
- #7
Yeah, unscented was another thought. But I tend to get very uncomfortable at these things and am self-conscious about sweat and b.o. Probably another reason to just go with my lingering AS. A fresh application of cologne has a tendency to do strange and unholy things when mixed with b.o.... I believe Seinfeld coined the the term "mutant funk" to describe the resulting abomination of smell when the twain doth meet. Not that I get b.o. when I sweat, but you know what I'm getting at. So, yeah, probably going au naturale tonight. Still interested in opinions.
I think Montale Black Aoud is the perfect fragrance to wear for funerals
http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showth...-and-Montale-Black-Aoud?p=4002402#post4002402
http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showth...-and-Montale-Black-Aoud?p=4002402#post4002402
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Bvlgari Pour Homme
Lalique Encre Noir
Bvlgari Pour Homme Soir
Lalique Encre Noir
Bvlgari Pour Homme Soir
I made mistake on this scenario and want to mention.
Day of a visitation I got LiDGE in mail(blind buy).could not wait to try it. So wore it to this. Later 1) I felt bad wearing it thinking if projection was high it was imposing my scent on others and 2) when I wear LIDGE sometimes I think "I wore this to that visitation". Bad association for a fragI like.
I say wear nothing or wear something light that is your signature scent. Don't break out something new or else you will think of the funeral when u wear it again in future.
Day of a visitation I got LiDGE in mail(blind buy).could not wait to try it. So wore it to this. Later 1) I felt bad wearing it thinking if projection was high it was imposing my scent on others and 2) when I wear LIDGE sometimes I think "I wore this to that visitation". Bad association for a fragI like.
I say wear nothing or wear something light that is your signature scent. Don't break out something new or else you will think of the funeral when u wear it again in future.
Jason,
I would also suggest no fragrance; but, if you're not comfortable with that, something very refined and subtle with a very light application (I'm thinking Acqua di Parma or something).
I would also suggest no fragrance; but, if you're not comfortable with that, something very refined and subtle with a very light application (I'm thinking Acqua di Parma or something).
I'm obviously too late to make a difference in your decision but regardless it's a great topic and warrants additional comment. People wear fragrances for many reasons: to feel good about themselves, to feel sexy, to relax or meditate, to feel peppy and lively, etc. I see no reason why you wouldn't wear a fragrance to a wake, a visitation, a funeral, etc., either. Funerals are uncomfortable, so why wouldn't you want something to help you relax and feel better? Granted, I wouldn't wear anything offensive, but a harmless lavender would be very tasteful, would smell good, would help you relax, and nobody finds it offensive. Personally, I would have worn Antiheros, it's my go to lavender, it would have been entirely appropriate, and I would have been glad I did.
I don't see anything wrong with wearing something unobtrusive. If you went ahead and wore TdH, I think that would be fine. In my experience, funeral homes and funerals are heavily scented affairs anyway, with a combination of flowers, disinfectant, incense and all kinds of other things. I can't imagine anybody commenting, "Man, Jason went a little heavy with the Amouage today, didn't he!" I think that all of the sentiments you expressed in your post were to the point, and a bit of a judiciously applied frag would be in the same spirit as a conservative suit or a tie with a muted pattern.
I doesn't matter. It's a freaking funeral, NO ONE will care what you wear, or not.
Black Aoud is the first thing that came to my mind as well. Encre Noir would work too I think. Just don't over apply and you'll be fine. Definitely a no go on the gourmands.
Domenico Caraceni
- Thread starter
- #17
Although I did go with only my Shave Den Neroli AS Milk applied after my shave a few hours before the event, I ultimately think Blix and TNH are correct. The people there have other things on their minds, least of all how I smell. But I appreciate the discussion as I do think it is a valuable one to engage in. I'm sure many guys wonder about it at some point. And after giving it some more thought, especially during the visitation while I was being olfactorily assaulted by the hordes of Italian men's and women's very strong fragrances, in the end I think I have enough sense to pull it off with tact and taste. Next time I will go with something low key and applied sparingly, for the very reasons The Chandos so sensibly laid out. I appreciate all the help.
I agree with unscented. Perhaps though Dirt, Zombi, or Unsavory Gravediggers from BPAL? If we are thinking a mournful smelling fragrance.
Last week,I attended a service for a friends mother.My wife picked vintage Wild Country for me to wear.The powder dry down is pretty inoffensive.
Part of the purpose of a wake or funeral is to celebrate the life of someone has died. It seems fine to me to wear something light and low key. A light application of Bois du Portugal, Tribute attar or similar would be pleasant.
