Please Don't Thank Me this Weekend

dangerousdon · May 23, 2015

I know this will seem a bit controversial, but please hear me out.

I am a veteran of two different services. I joined the Marine Corps in the early '90s. The US was done with Desert Storm then and Bosnia and Kosovo were a couple years down the road. All in all, this was a relatively peaceful time in our history. I understand there was Somalia and some other things...but for the most part there was not a huge all out war. Other than training deployments and a couple of moments of standing by waiting for helos to pick us up and drop us off on a ship, I was not deployed to anykind of conflict. A couple years after I left the Marine Corps I joined the National Guard. It was here that I was activated for many storms to include Katrina and some other big hurricanes. I was also deployed for almost a year and a half to Afghanistan. I know there are others that saw more tours than I did but the fact remains that I saw some stuff i am glad I saw; I saw some stuff I wish I would have never seen; and I have done things that I am proud of and other things I hope no one ever has to do.

So here is where I lose people. I am a Veteran and I get thanked when people find out. I am appreciative of it even though I have a had time accepting it. We have moved far forward from the days the Vietnam Vets were ridculed and hated. A dark spot in history if you ask me. Us living vets have our day...Veterans Day. This weekend is not that day. This weekend celebrates the lives of those who gave the one thing that is the hardest to give...their life. So if you happen to see me out and about, please don't thank me. If you happen to see a Vet when you are having your weekend fun or doing your weekend work, please say a prayer for his or her buddies that didn't come home...that vet most likely has some.

If you got this far...thanks and I hope you understand. If this somehow came across unfeeling, rude, or bitter...that was not my intention. I hope you and your family have a great weekend.

Orville · May 23, 2015

Well stated . . . and understood. Enjoy you weekend. And no, it does not come across as anything more than a request that folks remember the "Memorial" portion of Memorial Day, which is only right and just, especially coming from a Marine. You're just living up to your motto.

Those that served and gave everything deserve the recognition for that sacrifice from those in whose name it was made.

woohog1 · May 23, 2015

Semper fi!
Even though most folks don't know the difference between the holidays, I think it is because the ones that truly "get" freedom isn't free, want to say thanks. As I tell everyone that thanks me, I tell em "thanks, but this day is about the ones that never came home. "I use it as a way to break the ice and maybe thow them some education. But most folks IMHO want to say thank you and are appreciative and want to be nice and curteous.
I agree with you, and I say a prayer for lost brothers as well. Matter of fact monday, I'll be having a stiff drink for them as my way to remember them.

dangerousdon · May 23, 2015

Thanks guys for understanding. Remember in your own way. While I mentioned a prayer I should have said that it doesn't matter in which way that you remember...just that you do. I will be saying a prayer, but I will also lift a drink to my fallen brethren also.

ouch · May 23, 2015

Perhaps the people who are thanking you are just trying to be.... I don't know.... umm.... polite? I wouldn't be so hard on them.

There was no draft in place during the time of your service. You volunteered. And when you volunteered, you had no idea what the future would hold for you or what ungodly tasks you might be called upon to perform. You knew only that you would do whatever was required of you. As a Marine, you also knew about history, particularly how brief and illusory our periods of peace are.

When you signed on, you had no idea if you would one day become one of the poor souls we thank on Memorial Day. For that, people would like to thank you. And so would I.

BSAGuy · May 23, 2015

Thanks anyway. You are modest. Many folks conflate Memorial Day and Veterans Day. I think the real meaning of Memorial Day is too hard for some folks to get their heads around, so they thank every vet they see.

Orville · May 23, 2015

dangerousdon said:
Thanks guys for understanding. Remember in your own way. While I mentioned a prayer I should have said that it doesn't matter in which way that you remember...just that you do. I will be saying a prayer, but I will also lift a drink to my fallen brethren also.

Way it worked in our mess was this: First drink toasts the Queen, second one toasts the Fallen, third one for the Regiment. Important thing is to remember them.

hrfdez · May 23, 2015

BSAGuy said:
Thanks anyway. You are modest. Many folks conflate Memorial Day and Veterans Day. I think the real meaning of Memorial Day is too hard for some folks to get their heads around, so they thank every vet they see.

Yes, because it has been commercialized, go and get your 50% off at Macy's. It is very sad. Only those of us that have served and loss friends in combat understand the real meaning.

Having said that, I don't think people mean to be disrespectful.

August West · May 23, 2015

Make peace with yourself.

Trust me on this one Bubba.

dangerousdon · May 23, 2015

ouch said:
Perhaps the people who are thanking you are just trying to be.... I don't know.... umm.... polite? I wouldn't be so hard on them.

I would never be rude to some one for thanking me and I am gracious that there are those who appreciate service men and women or doing what they do or have done. I just want people to understand the holiday for what it is. Not just getting a day off or half of on a grill or whatnot. Don't get me wrong, my family and I will do our share of roasting hot dogs and other summertime activities. I just hope those who celebrate understand what they are celebrating.

oc_in_fw · May 23, 2015

ouch said:
Perhaps the people who are thanking you are just trying to be.... I don't know.... umm.... polite? I wouldn't be so hard on them.

Are they being polite, or have they become conditioned to the idea that we must thank anyone we see wearing a uniform? I don't think I can go one day without hearing someone "thanking the troops". It is almost Pavlovian.

on edit: please don't think I am trying to be a jerk here. It just seems that when certain words or phrases (like "hero") are overused they basically become meaningless.

Rockminer · May 23, 2015

Here's an alternate way of looking a people thanking vets on Memorial Day. Maybe there are people who understand that most Vets have lost buddies they served with, and maybe they think most Vets that lost buddies are thinking about them, thus feeling down or depressed, so they see it as a comforting way of letting Vets know they're thinking about them in a verbal hug sort of way. I think people can do both. Understand Memorial Day, and comfort a living Vet at the same time.

imatabor · May 23, 2015

As was already stated, I don't think anyone means any disrespect. When you served you didn't know what the final cost would be but the fact that you were willing is something that deserves thanks.

The fact that you don't wish to take away from the memory and honor of your fallen brothers and sisters also says much about yourself. You have done them proud and they will be remembered.

mretzloff · May 23, 2015

I think that majority of people in the U.S. completely understand the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day. The thing is that we have been conditioned to always thank active duty military members and veterans, so people think that they have to say "thank you" when anything military related comes up.

jazzman · May 23, 2015

When I was growing up, almost every adult male in my parents' generation was a veteran of WWII or Korea, and every young male was thinking about the Vietnam era draft. Many families, from all social and economic levels, had lost someone in war. Everyone knew the difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day, and veterans were not exotic "heros." But for several decades, military service has affected a relatively small portion of the American population. The majority just don't seem to know how to process the fact that other people are making such enormous sacrifices for them or the complicated emotions that flow from that fact.

alex2363 · May 23, 2015

dangerousdon said:
I know this will seem a bit controversial, but please hear me out.

I am a veteran of two different services. I joined the Marine Corps in the early '90s. The US was done with Desert Storm then and Bosnia and Kosovo were a couple years down the road. All in all, this was a relatively peaceful time in our history. I understand there was Somalia and some other things...but for the most part there was not a huge all out war. Other than training deployments and a couple of moments of standing by waiting for helos to pick us up and drop us off on a ship, I was not deployed to anykind of conflict. A couple years after I left the Marine Corps I joined the National Guard. It was here that I was activated for many storms to include Katrina and some other big hurricanes. I was also deployed for almost a year and a half to Afghanistan. I know there are others that saw more tours than I did but the fact remains that I saw some stuff i am glad I saw; I saw some stuff I wish I would have never seen; and I have done things that I am proud of and other things I hope no one ever has to do.

So here is where I lose people. I am a Veteran and I get thanked when people find out. I am appreciative of it even though I have a had time accepting it. We have moved far forward from the days the Vietnam Vets were ridculed and hated. A dark spot in history if you ask me. Us living vets have our day...Veterans Day. This weekend is not that day. This weekend celebrates the lives of those who gave the one thing that is the hardest to give...their life. So if you happen to see me out and about, please don't thank me. If you happen to see a Vet when you are having your weekend fun or doing your weekend work, please say a prayer for his or her buddies that didn't come home...that vet most likely has some.

If you got this far...thanks and I hope you understand. If this somehow came across unfeeling, rude, or bitter...that was not my intention. I hope you and your family have a great weekend.

Thank you for explaining your point of view.

The Count of Merkur Cristo · May 23, 2015

Don:

...and well said! Monday is reserved for all those who gave the ultimate sacrifice in service to our country and who "gave up all their tomorrows so we can have our today's".

May God Bless and Keep Them and May They Rest In Peace!

From Valley Forge to present day 'down-range', I'm not sure where this has been said or read, but I've heard that a definition of a hero is a ordinary Service man / woman...who performed ordinary Service tasks (infantry, air force, coast guard, nursing, ect...), under
extra ordinary conditions.

[FONT=&amp]“The highest tribute one can bestow is not how we honor them, but how we remember them”. CBJ[/FONT]

morgantruce · May 23, 2015

Let's put an end to Memorial Day Sales. Don't spend a dime on any of them. Think about bigger things on that day.

hrfdez · May 23, 2015

morgantruce said:
Let's put an end to Memorial Day Sales. Don't spend a dime on any of them. Think about bigger things on that day.

I agree. This is what it has been minimized to, sales and greed!

patten1969 · May 23, 2015

Memorial Day is for those who died serving our country. Veteran's Day is for everyone else. If someone sees my veteran license plates and thanks me, I'll say, "You're welcome," but bring the conversation around to what the day really is. Those who don't understand are the very people we protected while we were in the service, and their hearts are in the right place.

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Please Don't Thank Me this Weekend

dangerousdon

Orville

woohog1

dangerousdon

ouch

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BSAGuy

Orville

hrfdez

August West

dangerousdon

oc_in_fw

Fridays are Fishtastic!

Rockminer

imatabor

mretzloff

jazzman

alex2363

The Count of Merkur Cristo

B&B's Emperor of Emojis

morgantruce

hrfdez

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