Step one: practice your aim
Step two: nutshot
Step two: nutshot
What do you do with an obnoxious jerk?
- Thread starter strat1117
- Start date
Actually, come to think of it...
You should pull an "I am not left handed!"
You and your doubles partner should back off in skill, and convince the obnoxious guy that he's just getting exponentially better. Then at some point ratchet it up and destroy him. If he's really bragging on himself all the time, it would be pretty fun.
You should pull an "I am not left handed!"
You and your doubles partner should back off in skill, and convince the obnoxious guy that he's just getting exponentially better. Then at some point ratchet it up and destroy him. If he's really bragging on himself all the time, it would be pretty fun.
Here's the answer, assuming you and the others are secure in your manhood, because I'm sure he isn't. Start acting as though the three of you are "more than just aquaintances" on the court. You get the idea, drop hints to the guy about how good he looks in those shorts, invite him to a day spa. Should have him running for the exit in no time. If it doesn't, kneecap him.
You said you're the "captain" of the game, right? Would it be feasible to institute a penalty of sorts for trash talking? You could even have them vote on it, and you'd likely have all in favor but him. Guys like that don't like losing, and if trash talk is making him lose games, it might just be incentive enough to shut up.
Backing off, then destroying him sounds like a good idea, but would take the fun out of playing eh? I play everything with the intent to get better, or at least play to the outer edges of my skill.
A penalty for trash talking is a good idea, maybe 5-10 bucks per outburst?
How about when it's your turn to serve, if the previous set he had an outburst, you zing one right at him full power. "oops was distracted by your previous outburst, my bad"
If he leaves the court for a bit, clip a string.
Or, while it may be hard to do, when he starts trash talking/being obnoxious, the three of you need to pick up your stuff, and leave without a word.
Even if it's the first set, in unison, walk out.
A penalty for trash talking is a good idea, maybe 5-10 bucks per outburst?
How about when it's your turn to serve, if the previous set he had an outburst, you zing one right at him full power. "oops was distracted by your previous outburst, my bad"
If he leaves the court for a bit, clip a string.
Or, while it may be hard to do, when he starts trash talking/being obnoxious, the three of you need to pick up your stuff, and leave without a word.
Even if it's the first set, in unison, walk out.
Admittedly, taking that kind of action would be taking the low road as would starting any kind of a physical fight - not very gentlemanly, but just sucking it up is easier said than done. You told this guy directly and in a gentlemanly way that his behavior was ruining the fun for the rest of you, yet he continues, apparently knowing there's not much you can do about it. In a way, this makes him a bully. Even if it is just one morning a week, giving up anything to a bully is no less frustrating to us as adults as it was when we were kids. If he doesn't care that he's alienating himself from a good group of guys, then you're better off letting it go - doing the right thing, even if it's easier said than done, separates the kids from the adults, and makes you the better man. But there's nothing wrong with venting, and it can be fun to fantasize about taking that low road. I guess I'm venting a little bit myself. I sympathisize with anyone dealing with any kind of bullying, as it looks like you are.
Mandating more gentlemanly play by imposing a penalty for trash talk sounds like a good idea too. I hope you can enforce it effectively.
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- Thread starter
- #48
You have hit the nail on the head.
Even though I know full well that doing nothing is the right thing under this particular set of circumstances, it still galls me to have to swallow my pride like that, and that is exactly why I started this thread.
write down the URL of the start of this thread and give him the slip of paper, say nothing, see if he reads it and can guess who the prat in question is?
Solution #3: start bringing a book on a famous serial killer to the court/reference a new book on serial killers, and explain that you're really sympathetic because the guy just couldn't take it anymore. Let everyone else in on the joke, and just continue to make the guy feel uncomfortable (make up details about how said serial killer played tennis with an obnoxious guy or something less conspicuous).
While that is funny please be careful if you ever try to employ this type of tactic. In our PC world and society something like that might be considered a terroristic threat.
If you didn't actually own the book and never had anything written down, wouldn't it be impossible to prove?
Pistols at Dawn
After the tenis match go out for a cocktail bring in a hired escort to luv up on him in the bar take photos and send to wife. He'll be too busy with the divorce lawyers to bother you anymore! LOL
+1000! I believe this discussion is now over.
How about supergluing his racket to his hands? 
Sorry to hear about this. A good guy like you doesn't deserve this load of crap.
Does he run fast? How fast? Faster than a speeding bullet? How quickly can he cover 1,500m?
I can help.
J/K Violence is never the answer.
Hang in there.
+1
Does he run fast? How fast? Faster than a speeding bullet? How quickly can he cover 1,500m?
I can help.
J/K Violence is never the answer.
Hang in there.
+1
Can this be achieved with Jump leads, his softer areas and a chevy pick up?
Seriously, I'd take him to one side and "have a word" (along the lines of "You annoy me, you annoy the others, now STFU, get the f*** on with playing and WE won't have to hurt you").
Or try aiming a few balls at him, face or crotch, although the Gentlemen in me dictates face....... the harder the serve the better ;-)Tom
I don't know, but don't want to try to find out.
That sounds good. Or just grab him by both sides of his head and swiftly slam your knee into his face
