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i
so you blame the person who was cheated on for the marriage failure?
Is marriage as an institution Dying in the US?
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Rough and emotional thread. Some younger folks input would be interesting.
I'm on marriage #2 and am very fortunate to be with my person. I'll not get into marriage #1. Suffice it to say that I understand why it's a hot button issue.
As to wage disparity between men and women (and many other groups of folk) perhaps if more states adopted wage transparency laws like here in good ol' Colorado it would be less of an issue. I laugh at the companies that moved out of state after the law was applied. Wonder what they are hiding?
I'm on marriage #2 and am very fortunate to be with my person. I'll not get into marriage #1. Suffice it to say that I understand why it's a hot button issue.
As to wage disparity between men and women (and many other groups of folk) perhaps if more states adopted wage transparency laws like here in good ol' Colorado it would be less of an issue. I laugh at the companies that moved out of state after the law was applied. Wonder what they are hiding?
No, I didn't say that. It is pretty obvious that of you can't conceive of a relationship that is not governed by financial calculus, it won't end well. You reap what you sow...
Getting pretty contentious here.
The thread is titled
If we're going to get into arguments about the potential existence of wage gap, the perceived justice of divorce settlements, and whether child custody decisions are inherently unfair, we're going to shut this one down.
The thread is titled
Is marriage as an institution Dying in the US?
That's pretty straight forward.If we're going to get into arguments about the potential existence of wage gap, the perceived justice of divorce settlements, and whether child custody decisions are inherently unfair, we're going to shut this one down.
Let's not forget, many men have gotten good at gaming the child support system. For every anecdote about a woman screwing over her ex, I can give you two of women who've never seen a cent of court ordered support. Some states are getting better at cracking down and collecting, but it's often an uphill battle.
Anyway, it's a gross oversimplification to pretend that every woman that files for divorce is doing it for the money. Relationships are complicated, breakups even moreso. And divorce isn't a financial cakewalk even if you do get the housr and the car...you still have to pay for them somehow.
Anyway, it's a gross oversimplification to pretend that every woman that files for divorce is doing it for the money. Relationships are complicated, breakups even moreso. And divorce isn't a financial cakewalk even if you do get the housr and the car...you still have to pay for them somehow.
Sorry, Phil...you can delete that if you want.
Marriage isnt dying. I liked it so much I did it twice.
Marriage isnt dying. I liked it so much I did it twice.
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That’s a stretch to claim views on alimony or child support is the reason why a spouse cheated? Seems like you’re just grasping for straws there.
I didn’t have well defined views alimony and child support until I went through it. I don’t think most men do until they actually go through with it.
That’s why I feel people like myself should speak up and warn others so they can avoid the mistakes I made.
I feel like men are pressured to get married and start a family when it’s a win-win for women, but for a large percentage of men it’s a big financial risk that I don’t think they’re aware of or are downplaying.
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Hard to game the system if you go to jail for not paying. But yeah getting paid in cash to avoid reporting income is a well known trick.
On the contrary, I think it's gaining popularity.
b/r
ON_1
b/r
ON_1
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- #70
Statistically speaking, marriage rates are at all time lows.
This is also true for other countries like Japan. Japan has a serious problem with not enough replacement population.
This is also true for other countries like Japan. Japan has a serious problem with not enough replacement population.
@something better , not quite certain why I am quoted by you above...
One of the great things about marriage and divorce is that they can change, grow and evolve over time. Fostering my relationship with my wife is of the utmost importance to me. My divorce and ensuing relationship with my ex-wife has also changed over time. For the better. Life goes on, hopefully we can figure stuff out. The relationships and individuals that were initially affected by the dissolution of a marriage do not inherently stagnate simply due ones inability to eventually forgive and move on. YMMV.
One of the great things about marriage and divorce is that they can change, grow and evolve over time. Fostering my relationship with my wife is of the utmost importance to me. My divorce and ensuing relationship with my ex-wife has also changed over time. For the better. Life goes on, hopefully we can figure stuff out. The relationships and individuals that were initially affected by the dissolution of a marriage do not inherently stagnate simply due ones inability to eventually forgive and move on. YMMV.
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My point wasn’t necessarily directed at you as more of a general statement.
When One party in a divorce is in much better shape financially, and the other party much worse off. the party ends in much better shape financially has an incentive to get divorced and the other party has an incentive to not get married.
I believe those are the reason marriage rates are in decline and at record lows.
Other countries like Japan, are anticipating problems, not having a young enough population to take care of an older population.
There’s a good reason why a society should want to encourage men to marry to father children, but I feel the current state of the Family Court system does the opposite
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Since the start of the 21st century, the U.S. marriage rate has declined from more than eight marriages per 1,000 down to six marriages per 1,000 population in 2019. That marriage rate is the lowest level since the U.S. government began keeping marriage records for the country in 1867.
Also, 70 years ago a large majority of U.S. households, approximately 80 percent, were made up of married couples. In 2020, the proportion of households consisting of married couples fell to 49 percent.
Also, 70 years ago a large majority of U.S. households, approximately 80 percent, were made up of married couples. In 2020, the proportion of households consisting of married couples fell to 49 percent.
The end of marriage in America?
America’s marriage rate has unquestionably declined over the recent past and reached a historic low.
thehill.com
Big grits.
I’m probably not reading past this post.
I had an easy, uncontested, you take yours, I’ll take mine divorce after a very long seperarion to carry her on my insurance, and no fights over self-stipulated child support.
I’ve also seen horrific fights and everything in between.
I can’t see getting married again, or cohabitation for that matter. I don’t even want to get accused of a common law qualification. But I like having my own space as well.
Weaker parties, and kids absolutely need some protections, but the US govt has turned it into a business proposition. They have way too much say as far as they issuing a contract the parties sign to receive tax benefits. And the courts are too inherently biased against men the last 40-50 yrs in my opinion.
Wow, maybe we should call this the red pill thread! For those who do not know what the red pill community is, Google it up and you find plenty on purportedly unfair divorce, child custody/support, alimony laws. I do not think this thread needs to be shut down, at least yet, but that is up to the folks who actually do the work of monitoring B&B discussions, such as Phil. whose judgement I trust far more than my own.
I thought the linked article The End of Marriage in America was a pretty good statistical demostration that marriage or the role of marriage in the States has changed over the decades, and I think it lays out a pretty good description of the reasons why. I think the divorce, etc laws have tried to adapt to thise factors. I think back in the day, for instance, women could get a lot more alimony for a lot longer time. So, It would seem that the incentives for a woman to divorce were greater in the past. I think the ideas of splitting property are that marriages are something of an equal partnership. If folks disagree with that they need a prenuptial. I do not know that one can blame the law.
I personally am sexist enough to think that women ought to get custody or, say, a greater custody. And children are deserving of financial support from their parents. Society has an interest in that. And I am surprised that women initiate oy 70 percent of divorces. In my experience, women generally initiate a breakup.
So, I suppose the question is whether a marriage is a financial risk for a man. I would say it is. I can see how in 2023 men would be discouraged from getting married. I am not sure that is the reason for a reduced number of marriages, or better put, for a reduction in the percentage of the population married at any given time.
I think men have it rough. I think women have it rough. Better vet your marriage partner. I do not think anything is more importance to one's happiness than the mate one chooses.
I thought the linked article The End of Marriage in America was a pretty good statistical demostration that marriage or the role of marriage in the States has changed over the decades, and I think it lays out a pretty good description of the reasons why. I think the divorce, etc laws have tried to adapt to thise factors. I think back in the day, for instance, women could get a lot more alimony for a lot longer time. So, It would seem that the incentives for a woman to divorce were greater in the past. I think the ideas of splitting property are that marriages are something of an equal partnership. If folks disagree with that they need a prenuptial. I do not know that one can blame the law.
I personally am sexist enough to think that women ought to get custody or, say, a greater custody. And children are deserving of financial support from their parents. Society has an interest in that. And I am surprised that women initiate oy 70 percent of divorces. In my experience, women generally initiate a breakup.
So, I suppose the question is whether a marriage is a financial risk for a man. I would say it is. I can see how in 2023 men would be discouraged from getting married. I am not sure that is the reason for a reduced number of marriages, or better put, for a reduction in the percentage of the population married at any given time.
I think men have it rough. I think women have it rough. Better vet your marriage partner. I do not think anything is more importance to one's happiness than the mate one chooses.
Then you are going to the wrong church.
I'm 50, married 23y.
It's a commitment and takes.work. Most people are quitters or too lazy to make it work and give up.
Keep going! It's at 80% Women file for divorce and 63% of men have not only checked out on marriage but women period! I predict for men it will hit 80% check out by this year's end.
Disagree to an extent. 50/50 joint physical custody. No fault divorce laws abolished or at least reformed. Equitable distribution abolished. You exit with what you came in with. Assets and liabilities get split. Lifetime alimony abolished. Retirements are not to be touched. The state bases CS on how much you male in income not what the child needs or what the parents decide to give. Plus the family courts profiteer from it through Federal Title IV-D in grant monies.
It's quasi criminal. Technically it's a civil matter. Most Dads who are in arrears for child support and are not actual dead beats. Are jailed not for arrears or debts, but failure to comply with a court order. That's where they get you.
So is wedding cake...
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