lol, when i was in elementary school during sex ed, the teacher told us that sex is just sitting around naked and looking at each other....
funniest thing ever,
funniest thing ever,
Ridiculous things people have told you
- Thread starter nikkuchan
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So, you didn't get the Monty-Python-style lecture? My image of Canada has been shattered...
When I was 18 I started working construction. As I moved away from home for my first real job, I got lots of advice about not falling for tricks like elbow grease and left-handed monkey wrench. One day, the crew tried to do this and sent me after a board bender. After I laughed at them and argued that they made that up, they took me down and showed me this. It says right on the side "Board Bender". 
I now own one too.
I now own one too.
I met a sailor in the Navy who told me a similar story. When he first came aboard, he got the usual: Go get a box of grid squares, no you need an ID10T form to get those, etc...
Well, his ship was an LHA (which has a flight deck). On that deck are padeyes, which the aircraft are chained to when not in use. After a rousing day of wild goose chases, his chief sends him for a padeye key. Having had enough, he refuses. Argument ensues. Finally, Chief goes and gets one himself. The chief then showed him how to remove padeyes using a padeye key.
Ouch.
Well, his ship was an LHA (which has a flight deck). On that deck are padeyes, which the aircraft are chained to when not in use. After a rousing day of wild goose chases, his chief sends him for a padeye key. Having had enough, he refuses. Argument ensues. Finally, Chief goes and gets one himself. The chief then showed him how to remove padeyes using a padeye key.
Ouch.
I'm from the corporate office, and I'm here to help!
Teacher...sex ed? No wonder kids are messed up.
in my sex ed class, the teacher insisted that sex between two men was impossible.
Do I really need to tell you: he was a catholic priest...
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in my sex ed class, the teacher insisted that sex between two men was impossible.
Do I really need to tell you: he was a catholic priest...
Well. ex-president Clinton is no priest, but I think he would defend that statement!
Dude that was hilarious. I forgot about the Muffler Bearings. I especially like the Engine Oil Bypass Kit, and the "O" Pipe.
Sounds like the kid down the street that told me his stock Civic had about 1000 horsepower. I asked him with a straight face how that was so. He said "Well, since the Civics come with about 300hp from the factory [ha!], I put a new muffler on it that gave it like, 150 extra horsepower, a ram air intake (which turned out to just be a cold air intake) that gave it like 200 hp, one of those Tornado fuel saver gimmicks (that he figured gave him about another 100 hp), special tires, wings..." and other garbage that probably amounted to nothing. I laugh when all these people tell me what their power rating is and they don't even know what a Dyno is. I figured that if that kid ever made it to one, he would be sad to see his 1,000 hp Civic barely rate 150 hp.
I bet he cut his springs, too. Tell me he had performance decals. They usually add about 30-60 hp each, depending on how many letters they have, and the logo. In a FWD car, you want a huge wing, so all the downforce is on the back wheels. And the weight-adding bodykits are also a necessity. Best if left unpainted.
Yep, full on Mickey Mouse set up.
Cut springs, unpainted body kit, hi-rise wing (two of them, the skeletonized metal ones), oversized tires, back seat ripped out, spare tire removed to make up for the added weight of his flea market subs, and all the decals you could shake a stick at.
I laugh because I've never seen someone with both Holly and Edelbrock stickers together on the same glass, let alone on a frigging Honda. 
I laugh because I've never seen someone with both Holly and Edelbrock stickers together on the same glass, let alone on a frigging Honda.
Well, he could have been running a holley double pumper on an edelbrock maifol... wait nevermind, it's a honda.
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There was a kid in my Junior high who told me his "secret" to always get out of class: Cross your arms, hold your breath, and spin around until you pass out.
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