Ridiculous things people have told you
- Thread starter nikkuchan
- Start date
Okay, here is a stupid one for you:
A guy that I once worked with had a friend that was a golfer. The dude hits a ball in a pond, goes over and tries to drag it out with his golf club. While doing this, he hooks an eight pound black bass through the gill and lands the fish with his golf club.
DL
A guy that I once worked with had a friend that was a golfer. The dude hits a ball in a pond, goes over and tries to drag it out with his golf club. While doing this, he hooks an eight pound black bass through the gill and lands the fish with his golf club.
DL
Ha! That's hilarious, fellas.
Speaking of, F-14. Ride-along Guy has another, this one was fantastic. He asked me if I remembered a one-car-wreck-no-other-cars-involved? Yes, he said it as one word, just like that. Yes, he was a redneck. He also stated the vehicle had flipped.
He then proceeded to tell me these 3 guys had been rolling up and down the main drag, talking trash to him all night, from the safety of their Blazer. Well, he'd finally had enough, so as they passed by for another salvo of what I'm sure were scathing, witty catcalls and mooning he dives into the Blazer through the passenger window, landing in the passenger's lap. He immediately kicked the rear-seat passenger in the face so hard he flew back and over the rear seat, getting stuck between it and the rear door. Then he started choking the guy whose lap he was in with his seatbelt, and started punching the driver in the face. This caused the driver to jerk the wheel, lose control, and send the car into a barrel roll. As soon as the vehicle came to rest on it's side, he "jumped out through the top, lit mah cigarette, an' walked raht on'." His gestures and swagger here were priceless, and provided us with many tearful breaks, combined with cramping laugh muscles.
Speaking of, F-14. Ride-along Guy has another, this one was fantastic. He asked me if I remembered a one-car-wreck-no-other-cars-involved? Yes, he said it as one word, just like that. Yes, he was a redneck. He also stated the vehicle had flipped.
He then proceeded to tell me these 3 guys had been rolling up and down the main drag, talking trash to him all night, from the safety of their Blazer. Well, he'd finally had enough, so as they passed by for another salvo of what I'm sure were scathing, witty catcalls and mooning he dives into the Blazer through the passenger window, landing in the passenger's lap. He immediately kicked the rear-seat passenger in the face so hard he flew back and over the rear seat, getting stuck between it and the rear door. Then he started choking the guy whose lap he was in with his seatbelt, and started punching the driver in the face. This caused the driver to jerk the wheel, lose control, and send the car into a barrel roll. As soon as the vehicle came to rest on it's side, he "jumped out through the top, lit mah cigarette, an' walked raht on'." His gestures and swagger here were priceless, and provided us with many tearful breaks, combined with cramping laugh muscles.
Was his name Baron Munchausen?
Or Commander McBragg.
That is great. You are so lucky to know such a talented man.
It got to the point where we'd just make stuff up. One day it was rappeling. Another day it was experimental rocket skis. And he would always have a comeback story. One time he told me I couldn't put a 3-inch exhaust on my car, or it'd blow out my turbo. Really bub? I could have NO exhaust and it would be just fine, as long as I didn't get any rocks or water in it.
People like him make me wonder. He acted as if he believed all his crap, and thought we did, too. Some of these people have serious issues, especially the ones who get hostile when you attempt. To inject any reason into the situation. I never knew exactly what a pathological liar was until I dated one. That was an experience.
Maybe. He could have been using an alias. I'm sure if we'd have ever gotten to talking about boats, he'd have told us about his buddy who swung 3 of them around by their anchor chains.
I always called him The Lyin' King.
That was the one thing that bothered me. What is so wrong with these people and what benefit do they get from this lying. How pathetic they must be when they have to sit at home alone and face their reality.
Female co-worker, years ago: "Are you going out to get some lunch?"
Me: "Yeah, you want anything?"
Female co-worker, years ago: "Lemme see their menu, cuz I'm a vegetarian."
Me: "Here."
Female co-worker, years ago: "Mmm. I'll have the grilled chicken sandwich."
Me: "You're vegetarian?"
Female co-worker, years ago: "Yep. Why?"
Me: "You don't eat meat, but you want the grilled chicken sandwich."
Female co-worker, years ago: "Chicken's not meat, it's poultry."
And bacon's not meat either, it's garnish.
Me: "Yeah, you want anything?"
Female co-worker, years ago: "Lemme see their menu, cuz I'm a vegetarian."
Me: "Here."
Female co-worker, years ago: "Mmm. I'll have the grilled chicken sandwich."
Me: "You're vegetarian?"
Female co-worker, years ago: "Yep. Why?"
Me: "You don't eat meat, but you want the grilled chicken sandwich."
Female co-worker, years ago: "Chicken's not meat, it's poultry."
And bacon's not meat either, it's garnish.
That's just freakin' hilarious
An old aquaintence of mine was such a BS'er. He was such a cool dude though and really had an interesting life being a pro surfer and all so I didn't know why he insisted on making up some the craziest $hit I've ever heard. Well some friends in our "group" decided to make a web site that you could go on and post stories that he told you. It was epic - it was something like lukeliesalot.com or net or something like that (it was like 8-9 yrs ago). Well - we had a couple pages and somehow the word got out and he found out about it. Man he was pissed, and embarrased. I think he tried to fight almost all of us at one point or another over it!
Not to light any fires, but the whole "hope and change" crap we heard last year.
(I notice that they've stopped saying it now)
(I notice that they've stopped saying it now)
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I worked with a pathological liar a while ago.
I went to elementary school with the guy, then 10 years later he shows up while I'm working at the video store and starts telling me about this new job he got and how he's been there for 1 week and they already made him warehouse manager then asked if I knew anyone looking for a job. I happened to be sick of working at the video store and had my resume with me, so I gave it to him. To my surprise I actually got a call to come in for an interview. I got the job, temp work doing quality control. I found out that he was definitely not the warehouse manager, but just a stock picker/order filler.
I felt mildly indebted to him for getting me the job (his dad plays golf with the branch manager) so we hung out a few times. The amount of BS that flowed from his mouth on a daily basis was incredible.
1. He picked up Paris Hilton at a club and has her personal cell phone number. (It was out of service when he called it...)
2. The sheer ammount of women he took home from the bar and had his way with. (Turns out several of them were friends of mine, who told me that this was patently untrue.)
3. Among other things, I got dumped by this one girl that I had gone on 2 dates with when she found out that I even knew him. (apparently along with being a pathological liar he was also a date rapist...)
He ended up getting fired after he got into an argument with a co-worker and stormed off in the middle of the day, decided not to come into work for a week, then came back as if nothing happened and expected to still have a job. I got promoted and eventually became Head Shipper, the closest that the business even had to a warehouse manager at the time. (5 years later I still work there and am in inside sales now, no clue where he is these days)
And then there was the time where, not as a truth, but just as a testament to my ability to make my little sister believe anything, I had her convinced that Bob Barked died in 1992 and that the Bob Barker you see on The Price is Right is actually a computer simulated Hologram. She was only 12 at the time, but I had a riot with that one for a few days.
I went to elementary school with the guy, then 10 years later he shows up while I'm working at the video store and starts telling me about this new job he got and how he's been there for 1 week and they already made him warehouse manager then asked if I knew anyone looking for a job. I happened to be sick of working at the video store and had my resume with me, so I gave it to him. To my surprise I actually got a call to come in for an interview. I got the job, temp work doing quality control. I found out that he was definitely not the warehouse manager, but just a stock picker/order filler.
I felt mildly indebted to him for getting me the job (his dad plays golf with the branch manager) so we hung out a few times. The amount of BS that flowed from his mouth on a daily basis was incredible.
1. He picked up Paris Hilton at a club and has her personal cell phone number. (It was out of service when he called it...)
2. The sheer ammount of women he took home from the bar and had his way with. (Turns out several of them were friends of mine, who told me that this was patently untrue.)
3. Among other things, I got dumped by this one girl that I had gone on 2 dates with when she found out that I even knew him. (apparently along with being a pathological liar he was also a date rapist...)
He ended up getting fired after he got into an argument with a co-worker and stormed off in the middle of the day, decided not to come into work for a week, then came back as if nothing happened and expected to still have a job. I got promoted and eventually became Head Shipper, the closest that the business even had to a warehouse manager at the time. (5 years later I still work there and am in inside sales now, no clue where he is these days)
And then there was the time where, not as a truth, but just as a testament to my ability to make my little sister believe anything, I had her convinced that Bob Barked died in 1992 and that the Bob Barker you see on The Price is Right is actually a computer simulated Hologram. She was only 12 at the time, but I had a riot with that one for a few days.
I knew he was into "animal rights," but he actually barked? That's taking things a bit too far, isn't it?
(sorry... I've been infected by silliness today).
Infected with Penicillium Roqueforti?
Not I. In solidarity with the lactose intolerant turtles which I help support, I don't partake of dairy.
What kind of Cheddar Tsar are you?
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