Jokes that make you laugh?

[sternej]

A woman is standing in line at Costco holding a 50 lb. Bag of Purina dry dog food. Woman behind her says: 'Oh, do you have a dog?' No, she replies I'm going back on 'the Purina diet', 'How does the diet work? 'Oh, it's very simple, you just keep both pockets filled with the nuggets and when you're hungry you just munch on a few.'; although to be honest, I'm a little nervous about it, the last time I was on it, I lost 50 Lbs., but I ended up in the hospital with tubes comming out of every orifice. 'Oh my goodness, what happened? Were you poisoned? 'No she said. 'I was peeing on a fire hydrant and got hit by a car.'

 

[Columbo]

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the more you appreciate it.

… and the faster it goes.

Here’s one from about 40 years ago. What do you call three lepers in a hot tub? Soup.

Maybe I should have posted that one over at the Mess Hall.

 

[PolishDawg]

what kind of bees don't make honey?

Boobies!

And that was told by a kid in the park who couldn't keep a straight face...and dad and mom remained silent for a moment but decided to lighten up and laugh...that was a good day.

 

[TinyTim]

A guy tries walking into a bar with a chicken under his arm and the bouncer says, "Sorry, but you can't come in here with that pig."

The guy says, "But, it's not a pig."

The bartender replies, "I was talking to the chicken."