Like a dart, at the balance point.
If your using an English razor, you need to put your little pinky finger in the air, like you're sipping tea. Otherwise it won't respond correctly.
I wrote about this some time ago. I have found that using a light grip forces me to keep the pressure on the razor minimal. My father was a very strong individual with an incredible grip. Yet he gripped his DE gently and that's how he taught me to do it. His advice was to treat it gently just as you should treat your sweet heart or wife.