A Question about Sexual Harassment.

[rajagra]

both my supervisor and manager are both female

OK ... I admit that's a potential problem. The dice are somewhat loaded against you given the modern climate in these matters.
This could even be some kind of scam to make out you were harassing the customer. (Unlikely, but why take a chance?)
Time to pass the buck. Calmly report the facts to them and ask for instruction on how to behave.

 

[Doc4]

OK ... I admit that's a potential problem. The dice are somewhat loaded against you given the modern climate in these matters.
This could even be some kind of scam to make out you were harassing the customer. (Unlikely, but why take a chance?)
Time to pass the buck. Calmly report the facts to them and ask for instruction on how to behave.

Not necessarily.

They may give you better advice on how "the female mind" works, and take this more seriously, than a male supervisor who would be as likely as not giggling inside himself thinking of some of the puerile jokes we've heard in this thread. You coming to your female supervisor/manager for friendly advice will also in her mind cement your respect for her managerial skills and overall good judgement, whereas if you go out of your way to seek advice from a man it'll be a tacit criticism.

 

[Toothpick]

I will disagree once again and continue to disagree that this is not sexual harassment.

Unwanted groping is considered sexual harassment in my view and many others.

If a male did this:

She has put her hand on my chest to read my name tag, touches me on the arm and shoulder quite a bit, rubbed my arm, and keeps feeding me all these sticky-sweet compliments about how smart I am and what a great job I'm doing

to a female it would sure be called sexual harassment. Especially if she said:

I'm getting creeped out

Simply because she is not grabbing his private parts or giving him a "good game" does not mean her behavior isn't sexual harassment.

the key in this case is that it is unwanted and makes him feel uncomfortable.

Any managers that don't take this seriously if he brings it to their attention are not manager material.

And I would admit I would not get the police involved immediately, I would certainly have a discussion with this lady explaining that her actions are not welcome. And if she continues to act this way then the police would be called and it would be up to the person who feels violated weather or not he wants to pursue any action. I'm also fairly sure that any business can tell someone "you are not allowed to shop here anymore" and a police officer would have to issue a trespass warning.


That being said, all of the above will most likely not be needed. I'm sure a polite conversation with her explaining "hey don't touch me" would solve the problem.

 

[shuasdad]

I will disagree once again and continue to disagree that this is not sexual harassment.

Unwanted groping is considered sexual harassment in my view and many others.

If a male did this:



to a female it would sure be called sexual harassment. Especially if she said:

Simply because she is not grabbing his private parts or giving him a "good game" does not mean her behavior isn't sexual harassment.

the key in this case is that it is unwanted and makes him feel uncomfortable.

Any managers that don't take this seriously if he brings it to their attention are not manager material.

And I would admit I would not get the police involved immediately, I would certainly have a discussion with this lady explaining that her actions are not welcome. And if she continues to act this way then the police would be called and it would be up to the person who feels violated weather or not he wants to pursue any action. I'm also fairly sure that any business can tell someone "you are not allowed to shop here anymore" and a police officer would have to issue a trespass warning.


That being said, all of the above will most likely not be needed. I'm sure a polite conversation with her explaining "hey don't touch me" would solve the problem.

+1 In hindsight, the conversation would've been a lot easier the first time the unwanted behavior occurred. Allowing it to continue kind of implies it's okay, even when it's not wanted. This could be a simple "Hey, hey, a little space please" or "I don't want folks to get the wrong idea" or something else to indicate you'd rather not be pawed. Being proactive and using a little humor could make this go away gracefully without embarrassing any of the involved people.

 

[oc_in_fw]

I would guess this lady to be about 70-ish ... but its hard to say.

I'll be 59 next month, but definitely don't look it.

I don't think her intent is sexual, more of the overly-friendly type. But it definitely makes me uncomfortable. Touching me on the arm once or twice wouldn't bother me, but repeatedly doing so, along with her other movements during the 5 minutes or so I was waiting on her was out-of-bounds in what I consider good retail etiquette.

I'm going to compare notes with the other co-worker she hugged today, before I speak to a manager. But both my supervisor and manager are both female, and I'd rather talk to a male about this. There is one manager I used to work for who was formerly an EEO Counselor, although he is no longer in that position, but since he has had the training and knows the policies and procedures, maybe he will have the guidance that I'm looking for.

Thanks for all the replies ... even all the funny ones were helpful.

I think having female supers will be a plus in this situation. Being female, there is a very chance that one or both have been victims of harassment.

 

[oc_in_fw]

Not necessarily.

They may give you better advice on how "the female mind" works, and take this more seriously, than a male supervisor who would be as likely as not giggling inside himself thinking of some of the puerile jokes we've heard in this thread. You coming to your female supervisor/manager for friendly advice will also in her mind cement your respect for her managerial skills and overall good judgement, whereas if you go out of your way to seek advice from a man it'll be a tacit criticism.

I agree with this.