The clinic was going along quite smoothly, until I showed up with a dremel and a Double Arrow.
I started spouting off about what a fantastic razor the DA was, and how it had a nice even smile. Bill dissagreed with me. He was a gentleman about it, but I still persisted, as I"m both ignorant, and strong-headed.
I started making geometric drawings on a chalkboard in Bill's shop, explaining about intersecting planes, conic sections, yadda, yadda, yadda..... The last straw was when I pulled out the DA and opened the scales straight out and balanced it on my finger to show what great balance these razors had...He wasn't gonna have any of that, not in his shop! He grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, and the seat of my pants and threw me out of the shop window, glass shards raining down as I tumbled to the ground.
I got up, and returned to the shop- "BRING IT ON!" I shouted. The other clinic attendees formed a circle "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!". Leighton set odds and acted as bookie taking bets and wagers on the upcoming pugilism.
Bill grabbed a bottle of Bud Light Lime, downed it in two large gulps, and broke it off on a nearby workbench. We circled each other like two caged lions. Then, quick as lightning, Bill lashed out with the Bud Light Lime bottle-*one* *two*, *one* *two*, I bobbed and weaved, just narrowly avoiding the jagged bottle as it grazed my neck and cheeks. We backed away from each other for a moment, catching our breath.
I ran my hand over my neck and cheeks, to check for blood. "Hmmm......no blood, but wow, and I mean WOW, I was now BBS like never before! That's a mighty fine shave right there, Bill." Showing that Bill can put a damn fine edge even on a glass bottle of Bud Light Lime, without even trying.
I think this needs to be reenacted and put on youtube!
