... one should ensure that he is seated directly to the host's right.
Gentleman's Essentials: Table Manners
- Thread starter burningdarkness
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... one should ensure that he is seated directly to the host's right.
Does anyone here remember National Lampoon's "Politenessman"?
I am reminded of the Pogo cartoon ... "we have met the enemy, and he is us." 
I joined B&B after this post was started so I'm glad someone recently resurrected it.
The "re-programming" continued through the late 50's, at least in the schools I attended. I'm left-handed but was "encouraged" to write right-handed. So, I now do everything with my left hand, except writing.
Since I eat left-handed, holding the fork in my left hand during a meal is not a problem. In fact, I take great delight in watching right-handers do the fork/knife shuffle during dinner. It gets even better when they follow the rule that they should only cut a bite or two at a time. Lots and lots of shuffling.
This thread got me thinking about my eating habits. As a little boy I ate the way most americans eat such as cutting a steak up before eating and using my right hand for the fork. When I was 12 my family spent 3 months in Europe and I adapted the Continental way of eating; fork in the left hand and only cutting 1 piece of meat as I ate. I don't think it was a conscious decision, just something I imitated while there. I've always eaten that way since.
What I wanted to mention was in regards to cutting up the meat. The main reason I do it the "Old World" way is because I found that if I cut up the meat all at once and then proceed to eat the pieces of meat, the food got colder faster. When I cut a piece, eat, cut a piece, eat, I find the food stays hot/warmer longer and I am not having to rush to eat before it got cold. Not sure if this was a practical thing to do that became a part of good dining manners, however it is why I ended up doing so.
My ex-wife would always put the fork on the right and the spoon and knife on the left of the plate and it always drove me nuts. I asked why and she said that's how her grandma always set the table.
What I wanted to mention was in regards to cutting up the meat. The main reason I do it the "Old World" way is because I found that if I cut up the meat all at once and then proceed to eat the pieces of meat, the food got colder faster. When I cut a piece, eat, cut a piece, eat, I find the food stays hot/warmer longer and I am not having to rush to eat before it got cold. Not sure if this was a practical thing to do that became a part of good dining manners, however it is why I ended up doing so.
My ex-wife would always put the fork on the right and the spoon and knife on the left of the plate and it always drove me nuts. I asked why and she said that's how her grandma always set the table.
This is apparently also the custom in (Dutch) St. Maarten. It drove me slightly insane.
You should never cut up the whole steak before eating. The American way is to cut three pieces. Once those pieces are eaten, then you cut three more.
I have always eaten the European way. One piece at a time and I never switch hands. I've eaten that way all my life and I think it has to do with me being left handed.
While I cut and eat the meat entree as do the British, it had never occurred to me to keep the fork in the left hand when I put down the knife to eat vegetables. It's a splendid custom, because it frees my right hand to draw my revolver should someone attempt to punch me in the face. 
Part of the reason I think that people wear hats and coats at table in places like Cracker Barrel is that there are no proper hatcheck provisions, the tables are tiny and the chairs are apparently rationed, so there is no place for them other than where they were when you entered the door.
Part of the reason I think that people wear hats and coats at table in places like Cracker Barrel is that there are no proper hatcheck provisions, the tables are tiny and the chairs are apparently rationed, so there is no place for them other than where they were when you entered the door.
And there's nowhere to hitch your horse outside, either.
... well, that's what they'd say. The few people who wear hats there are probably wearing ironic trucker hats or ironic cheap fedoras or what have you, and dont' want to take them off. And they don't wear coats, they wear short jackets, so ... why waste "valuable feeding real-estate" with coat racks and such. You may instert a diatribe about self-fulfilling prophecies here.
When setting a table, where does one place the spitoon?
A proper redneck does not use a spitoon when seated at a table. He uses his "Big Gulp" cup from the 7-11 store.
Just don't mistake it for your glass of iced tea.
According to my brother-in-law, the Catholic school nuns in Scotland were still working on the reprogramming of lefties in the late 70s. Additionally, they apparently don't believe in eating with tines down.
Interesting thread.
Some years back, I had a wonderful Polish girlfriend (man, was she hot, and frighteningly smart, too) who converted me to eating in the Continental style. As a lefty, it came naturally to hold the fork in my left hand and turn it upside down. Since, I've continued to eat in the Continental style.
Funny thing was my niece asked why I held my fork "upside down" a couple of years ago. I told her the story about the nice Polish girl and that this is the proper way Europeans eat. She promptly inverted her fork and has been Continental ever since. I love that kid!
Some years back, I had a wonderful Polish girlfriend (man, was she hot, and frighteningly smart, too) who converted me to eating in the Continental style. As a lefty, it came naturally to hold the fork in my left hand and turn it upside down. Since, I've continued to eat in the Continental style.
Funny thing was my niece asked why I held my fork "upside down" a couple of years ago. I told her the story about the nice Polish girl and that this is the proper way Europeans eat. She promptly inverted her fork and has been Continental ever since. I love that kid!
I enjoyed reading this thread. My great grandmother who lived to be 101, and was a wonderful lady told me it was once considered bad manners to tip the bowl to finish the soup, but during the war (WWI - I believe), food was hard enough to come by, that if became acceptable to tip the bowl to completely empty it. I've remembered this tid-bit since childhood.
She also told me, "art is to be looked at, not smelled of", meaning one should appreciate it from a reasonable viewing distance.
Now would someone maybe start a thread on "concert goers manners".
There's much to learn there too I believe.
She also told me, "art is to be looked at, not smelled of", meaning one should appreciate it from a reasonable viewing distance.
Now would someone maybe start a thread on "concert goers manners".
There's much to learn there too I believe.
One should never rise when someone leaves the table, only upon their return, FWIW.
A woman does not wish attention drawn to the fact that she is leaving to visit the powder room, but she very much appreciates the attention when she returns. Interesting how these things all share a common thread; try to make others comfortable.
It has been far too long since I've visited the website. The last twenty minutes reading this thread reminded me of all the entertainment and information I've been missing. Manners, both table and otherwise, have been seriously lacking in my community. I try to educate my son on such things as my father did with me.
Thai food is only eaten with a spoon and fork (it always makes me laugh when I go to a Thai restaurant in the UK and they have put out chopsticks, and it should be a signal to leave there and then, as it will generally be a bland and disappointing bastardised mix of Thai and Chinese food anyway, but I digress), and the fork should never be put into your mouth. Only the spoon should be used for transferring the food into your mouth.
In Indonesia they use their hands, but of course, only the right hand as the left is used for toilet purposes. I haven't yet mastered the technique of cupping the rice and food between the tips of the fingers and thumb, and end up dribbling food all down me, so the family usually give me a spoon and fork. Mind you, it does taste better using your hands for some reason.
Chopsticks - never point at anyone with them, and never jam them upright into the rice bowl if you need to leave the table.
In Indonesia they use their hands, but of course, only the right hand as the left is used for toilet purposes. I haven't yet mastered the technique of cupping the rice and food between the tips of the fingers and thumb, and end up dribbling food all down me, so the family usually give me a spoon and fork. Mind you, it does taste better using your hands for some reason.
Chopsticks - never point at anyone with them, and never jam them upright into the rice bowl if you need to leave the table.
A proper redneck does not use a spitoon when seated at a table. He uses his "Big Gulp" cup from the 7-11 store.
Just don't mistake it for your glass of iced tea.
The considerate redneck uses one of these,http://www.mudjug.com/realtreecamomudjug-limitedrelease.aspx
No one will notice it hidden amongst the table arrangement.
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