Baker's Dozen: Corrupted Quotations Edition

Change a quote about love to be more cynical.

1. If music be food of love, why am I on a diet of Nickelback? - Wm. Shakespeare
2. "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other," said Audrey Hepburn, adding "unless you're drowning; then it's a life preserver."
3. Love is the triumph of ignorance over intelligence -- H. L. Mencken
4. Love is like the wind, you can't see it but it can take your Doublewide. -- Nicholas Sparks
5. Love is the flower you've got to spray with herbicide. --- John Lennon
6. O my love is like a red red rose, sharp and thorny until June - Burns
7. And Wuv, tru Wuv, will fowow you foweva... So twy walking upstweam in a bwook to thwow it off yow twail - The Impressive Clergyman in Princess Bride.
8. He who loves walks in darkness. -Plato
9. "Love is a many splintered thing."
10. There is no remedy for love except getting caught surfing dating sites -- Henry David Thoreau
11. You can't blame gravity for falling in love. But when you fall, call a lawyer in case of injury -- Einstein.
12. I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me. And by love I mean Nudge Nudge Wink Wink Say No more - Foreigner
13. Love is blind ... once you can see, you get a divorce.

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.

1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.

1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups.
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups.
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups.
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."
4. "A soldier will have a little tussle for a bit of colored ribbon." Napoleon

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups.
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."
4. "A soldier will have a little tussle for a bit of colored ribbon." Napoleon
5. I have nothing to offer but Blood, Swear and Tears ... and a bit of Lynyrd Skynyrd ... Winston Churchill, owner of Winnie's Record Shop.

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups.
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."
4. "A soldier will have a little tussle for a bit of colored ribbon." Napoleon
5. I have nothing to offer but Blood, Swear and Tears ... and a bit of Lynyrd Skynyrd ... Winston Churchill, owner of Winnie's Record Shop.
6. Continue to advance until you run out of ammunition. Then, dig.deep and sing show tunes until they surrender - Still not Patton

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups.
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."
4. "A soldier will have a little tussle for a bit of colored ribbon." Napoleon
5. I have nothing to offer but Blood, Swear and Tears ... and a bit of Lynyrd Skynyrd ... Winston Churchill, owner of Winnie's Record Shop.
6. Continue to advance until you run out of ammunition. Then, dig.deep and sing show tunes until they surrender - Still not Patton
7. Everyone has a plan 'til they get kissed in the mouth" ... Mike Tyson

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups.
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."
4. "A soldier will have a little tussle for a bit of colored ribbon." Napoleon
5. I have nothing to offer but Blood, Swear and Tears ... and a bit of Lynyrd Skynyrd ... Winston Churchill, owner of Winnie's Record Shop.
6. Continue to advance until you run out of ammunition. Then, dig.deep and sing show tunes until they surrender - Still not Patton
7. Everyone has a plan 'til they get kissed in the mouth" ... Mike Tyson
8. Don't fire til you see the whites of their eyes!.. and if you notice any redness in their eyes offer them some Visine.

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups.
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."
4. "A soldier will have a little tussle for a bit of colored ribbon." Napoleon
5. I have nothing to offer but Blood, Swear and Tears ... and a bit of Lynyrd Skynyrd ... Winston Churchill, owner of Winnie's Record Shop.
6. Continue to advance until you run out of ammunition. Then, dig.deep and sing show tunes until they surrender - Still not Patton
7. Everyone has a plan 'til they get kissed in the mouth" ... Mike Tyson
8. Don't fire til you see the whites of their eyes!.. and if you notice any redness in their eyes offer them some Visine.
9. Don't forget that you're 1st Marines! Not all the communists in hell can draw a straight flush ... Chest Puller's gambling cousin Lenerd "all in" Puller

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."
4. "A soldier will have a little tussle for a bit of colored ribbon." Napoleon
5. I have nothing to offer but Blood, Swear and Tears ... and a bit of Lynyrd Skynyrd ... Winston Churchill, owner of Winnie's Record Shop.
6. Continue to advance until you run out of ammunition. Then, dig.deep and sing show tunes until they surrender - Still not Patton
7. Everyone has a plan 'til they get kissed in the mouth" ... Mike Tyson
8. Don't fire til you see the whites of their eyes!.. and if you notice any redness in their eyes offer them some Visine.
9. Don't forget that you're 1st Marines! Not all the communists in hell can draw a straight flush ... Chest Puller's gambling cousin Lenerd "all in" Puller
10. May God have mercy on my enemies, because those pants do not go with those jackets. And the helmets, don't get me started on the helmets. - Not Patton either

..
May God have mercy on my enemies, because those pants do not go with those jackets. And the helmets, don't get me started on the helmets. - Not Patton either


Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."
4. "A soldier will have a little tussle for a bit of colored ribbon." Napoleon
5. I have nothing to offer but Blood, Swear and Tears ... and a bit of Lynyrd Skynyrd ... Winston Churchill, owner of Winnie's Record Shop.
6. Continue to advance until you run out of ammunition. Then, dig.deep and sing show tunes until they surrender - Still not Patton
7. Everyone has a plan 'til they get kissed in the mouth" ... Mike Tyson
8. Don't fire til you see the whites of their eyes!.. and if you notice any redness in their eyes offer them some Visine.
9. Don't forget that you're 1st Marines! Not all the communists in hell can draw a straight flush ... Chest Puller's gambling cousin Lenerd "all in" Puller
10. May God have mercy on my enemies, because those pants do not go with those jackets. And the helmets, don't get me started on the helmets. - Not Patton either
11. No battle plan survives contact cement, because, like, the pages are all stuck together and nobody can read them. - Helmuth von Moltke

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."
4. "A soldier will have a little tussle for a bit of colored ribbon." Napoleon
5. I have nothing to offer but Blood, Swear and Tears ... and a bit of Lynyrd Skynyrd ... Winston Churchill, owner of Winnie's Record Shop.
6. Continue to advance until you run out of ammunition. Then, dig.deep and sing show tunes until they surrender - Still not Patton
7. Everyone has a plan 'til they get kissed in the mouth" ... Mike Tyson
8. Don't fire til you see the whites of their eyes!.. and if you notice any redness in their eyes offer them some Visine.
9. Don't forget that you're 1st Marines! Not all the communists in hell can draw a straight flush ... Chest Puller's gambling cousin Lenerd "all in" Puller
10. May God have mercy on my enemies, because those pants do not go with those jackets. And the helmets, don't get me started on the helmets. - Not Patton either
11. No battle plan survives contact cement, because, like, the pages are all stuck together and nobody can read them. - Helmuth von Moltke
12. Spartans, ready your breakfast and eat hearty, for tonight we dine in Hell's Kitchen! .... King Leonidas

Change a warlike quote to make it more conciliatory.
1. veni, vidi, dictum ... I came, I saw, I engaged in bi-lateral discussions with local interest groups
2. It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should think whether we should have fought the war in the first place - Definitely Not Patton
3. "... people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to dicker on their behalf."
4. "A soldier will have a little tussle for a bit of colored ribbon." Napoleon
5. I have nothing to offer but Blood, Swear and Tears ... and a bit of Lynyrd Skynyrd ... Winston Churchill, owner of Winnie's Record Shop.
6. Continue to advance until you run out of ammunition. Then, dig.deep and sing show tunes until they surrender - Still not Patton
7. Everyone has a plan 'til they get kissed in the mouth" ... Mike Tyson
8. Don't fire til you see the whites of their eyes!.. and if you notice any redness in their eyes offer them some Visine.
9. Don't forget that you're 1st Marines! Not all the communists in hell can draw a straight flush ... Chest Puller's gambling cousin Lenerd "all in" Puller
10. May God have mercy on my enemies, because those pants do not go with those jackets. And the helmets, don't get me started on the helmets. - Not Patton either
11. No battle plan survives contact cement, because, like, the pages are all stuck together and nobody can read them. - Helmuth von Moltke
12. Spartans, ready your breakfast and eat hearty, for tonight we dine in Hell's Kitchen! .... King Leonidas
13. The 2 most powerful warriors are patience and time, Leo Tolstoy....and if you don't have a watch or clock , I may have an extra watch to spare.

Change Shakespeare's quote to modern times

1. It is not in the Star Wars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.

Change Shakespeare's quote to modern times

1. It is not in the Star Wars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
3. Signor Antonio, many a time and oft on the Yelp you have rated me about my monies and my usances. Still have I borne it with a patient shrug. But imma calling a lawyer.

Change Shakespeare's quote to modern times

1. It is not in the Star Wars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
3. Signor Antonio, many a time and oft on the Yelp you have rated me about my monies and my usances. Still have I borne it with a patient shrug. But imma calling a lawyer.
4. The journey with a soul mate is pretty bumpy.

Change Shakespeare's quote to modern times

1. It is not in the Star Wars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
3. Signor Antonio, many a time and oft on the Yelp you have rated me about my monies and my usances. Still have I borne it with a patient shrug. But imma calling a lawyer.
4. The journey with a soul mate is pretty bumpy.
5. Friends, Romans, Countrymen ... like and subscribe!

Change Shakespeare's quote to modern times

1. It is not in the Star Wars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
3. Signor Antonio, many a time and oft on the Yelp you have rated me about my monies and my usances. Still have I borne it with a patient shrug. But imma calling a lawyer.
4. The journey with a soul mate is pretty bumpy.
5. Friends, Romans, Countrymen ... like and subscribe!
6. Stay on Facebook, or quit Facebook? That's my First World Problem.