Did I overreact in the social setting?

Please give me your opinion on this situation that took place last night. My wife and I met a group of folks at a local watering hole here in Indianapolis. My wife's long term friend of over 30 years wanted to include us in a get-together with around a dozen people, a few couples and singles that she thought we might enjoy sharing a drink or two with. As background, the previous evening my wife met several of these individuals at an event locally, so she had at least one prior opportunity to meet in particular a couple that my question pertains to. While enjoying a drink and have a nice conversation between myself, my wife and the female half of the couple, ( the husband was not at the bar at the time). Very light and interesting conversations concerning our adoration for Maker's Mark, snowy evenings, on and on. A very delightful time and both Melissa and I enjoyed this early part of the evening. Our new friend (our age, early 50's) was texted by her husband, (6 years her junior and an entrepreneur in the cycling industry) and he asked her to please order him a drink and have it ready for his unexpected arrival....a Maker's Mark on the rocks. Good show I thought. I'm certain I will like this guy simply based on his drink choice. ( I say this somewhat tongue in cheek as I realize there is much more to the initial impression experience.

He arrives, a tall gent, fairly fashionably dressed and they appear to be a very nice couple indeed. I also became involved with a conversation with 2 people to my right about auctions and historical items. Both Melissa and I were very much enjoying the evening and she in fact continued most of her conversations with this said couple. In a short bit, they announced that they were off to catch a movie, "HER" with Joaquin Phoenix. We chatted about this for a few moments. The gentleman of the couple announced that it really wasn't "his" kind of movie, too serious, romantic etc. He said he prefers to laugh, perhaps a great car chase scene, etc. I mentioned to him that I in fact enjoy more serious films, the kinds that make you think, maybe even to the point of being "painful". His response to me ( within 15 minutes of ever meeting) was... "Give me $10 and I will punch you in the face." I said "Excuse me?" He repeated... "GIVE ME, $10 and I will PUNCH you in the face!" This time with more emphasis like am quite dense. My response..., "No thank you."

They left shortly after that and we had a few other very pleasant conversations with the other individuals that remained. Melissa and I took "our" party elsewhere eventually and enjoyed a very nice meal at a restaurant owned by friends who live in our neighborhood.

To make a long story short, his comment to me offended me and I wanted to ask you Global gentlemen.... Am I wrong to feel that way? Should I simply lighten up? Your opinions please.

I think he was attempting humor. Humor is something that some should not attempt. I, on the other hand, am well versed in attempting humor

He sounds like an idiot. I would have been offended as well.

He may have thought that we has being witty, but it certainly doesn't come across that way. His behavior sounds arrogant and inappropriately aggressive.

Edit: I can see saying this to a friend I know well, or possibly someone I know somewhat. To say it to a stranger is inappropriate, in my book.

Not that I'm always appropriate, to be honest . . .

Yeah, it sounds like he was trying to crack a joke. Instead of you spending $10 on a 'painful' movie, you could just give him the money in return for a painful punch in the face.

I would have been offended. That joke would only work with a good friend that I had known for a while.

That would be pretty off putting to me Mike. I think he was attempting to be funny and failed. I've got close friends that would say things like that to me, and things much worse but they wouldn't say it to a stranger.

I think he was probably trying to be funny (swing and miss IMO). Can't say I'd have a drink with him again though.

It might have been more obvious had he said "You want to spend money and be painful? Give me ten bucks and I'll punch you in the face", followed by a chuckle.

on edit: Either way, I wouldn't say this to someone I just met.

That comment is not appropriate for that situation I would feel the same way. If you were long time friends and were messing around after too many drinks then maybe.

I think if he was truly trying to be funny when you said what he would not have repeated that ridiculous statement more emphatically. I would be offended yes.

oc_in_fw said:

I think he was attempting humor. Humor is something that some should not attempt. I, on the other hand, am well versed in attempting humor

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+1

You indicated that you preferred (to spend your $10 movie money) on something that was painful. He offered to oblige and save you the trip to the theater.
I'm not sure how I would have reacted, because I can be a bit slow on the uptake, but it does seem to me that the comment was a poor attempt at a joke, not a threat.

Sounds like he was making a joke, but it didn't come through the right way. Slapstick humor is a bit old school these days, which tends to take these things even more off the tracks.

But I could be wrong, I've been in few situations, where some guys have turned 180 all off a sudden, without any trace of humor, just being psychos.

Well, he may have taken you mentioning your different taste movies as being a bit superior and condescending and then you totally set him up with the "to the point of being painful" remark. I'd say his response was unsurprising if a bit much for a brand new acquaintance but all in all I say you're even.

Gents, I am not suggesting that he actually might have gotten physical. I understand he was trying to save me a trip to the theater.... I am not a long time Sigma Chi Brother of his, I am a person who he is meeting for the very first time with our wives sitting next to us.

I would have also found it offensive and not funny. I also think you handled it very well, while he came off a bit as a jerk.

You know the retort to that one???

"A swing and a miss. Strike 3 yer out"

Let him try to figure out what you meant

Antique Hoosier said:

Gents, I am not suggesting that he actually might have gotten physical. I understand he was trying to save me a trip to the theater.... I am not a long time Sigma Chi Brother of his, I am a person who he is meeting for the very first time with our wives sitting next to us.

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If you think he was really serious, it could be that he got insulted by the brainy movie bit and just didn't like your face after that. Specially if he felt he was being implied of being stupid in presence of a woman.

Been there myself, as some guys have thought I was trying to be somehow better by turning down alcohol, for example.

P.S. BTW, those "totally psycho 180 moments" I mentioned in my previous posts have always been in situations where there have been women involved. Usually I've been on a date and ended up in same table or in same group with the guys turning out to be... well... whatever word you might want to use.

He could have at least offered you a discount.

What the hell is wrong with people?

delivery of the joke sounds weak, but sounds like something i have heard before by that age group who enjoys National Lampoon/Mad Magazine .. i wouldn't have at all been offended.. i would have chuckled and realized that the guy was trying to be "cool".

i see no reason to be offended by someone else's position on something or their commentary on mine.. i would have thought "well that guy was a feminine hygiene product" and moved on..