Funeral etiquette

Howdy!

I'm Jerry and I have a question about attending a funeral of a good friend of mines step dad that passed away. I have a navy blue blazer I wear with charcoal grey slacks with either a navy blue shirt, a white shirt, pink shirt, and a brooks brothers pocket square. My question is can I go to the funeral even though I do not have a suit yet? I want a custom brooks brothers Fitzgerald suit. Since I will be an insurance agent. I'm studying for my P&C general lines exam in Texas. Anyone a P&C agent that might be able to help me study?

Best,
Jerry

your clothing sound fine..just show up to pay your respects.

More than one question in there Jerry. I can't help with the study. Showing up is more important than having the right suit. You are there to support and console your friend, and their family as necessary. Wear the blue blazer and slacks with a white shirt and put your best foot forward. Be there for those who need you in their time of grief. Don't worry about the suit.

I can post pics of you all need to see what I have.

Talltexan said:

I can post pics of you all need to see what I have.

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No need, don't be silly, what you have is fine.

A funeral is more about respect than fashion. As long as it is respectful, nobody will notice what you are wearing.

what everyone else has said. the only additional fashion advice would be to just make sure you wear a dark, sober tie and black socks/shoes.


v.

I've seen funerals where half the people were in button down shirts and dark black jeans. Because it was all they had.

I've also been at a funeral in a thousand dollar suit.

The intent is what matters, not what you're wearing, unless it's blatantly disrespectful (unless stated specifically by whoever you're burying, flipflops, hawaiian shirt and shorts=NO).

Talltexan said:

Howdy!

I'm Jerry and I have a question about attending a funeral of a good friend of mines step dad that passed away. I have a navy blue blazer I wear with charcoal grey slacks with either a navy blue shirt, a white shirt, pink shirt, and a brooks brothers pocket square. My question is can I go to the funeral even though I do not have a suit yet? I want a custom brooks brothers Fitzgerald suit.

Best,
Jerry

Click to expand...

Hi Jerry,

The blazer and slacks will be fine ... I'd wear the white shirt for sure. Add a dark tie (plain black is ideal, but anything that is "somber" and dark will do just fine) and you are good to go. Black shoes if at all possible.

... 'somber' advice goes for the pocket-square too (or it can be plain white with a TV fold, which is probably best of all.)

MrMurphy said:

I've seen funerals where half the people were in button down shirts and dark black jeans. Because it was all they had.

I've also been at a funeral in a thousand dollar suit.

The intent is what matters, not what you're wearing, unless it's blatantly disrespectful (unless stated specifically by whoever you're burying, flipflops, hawaiian shirt and shorts=NO).

Click to expand...

I was at a funeral yesterday and I was one of two people in a suit. I was horrified to see others there wearing hoodies, backwards baseball cap, etc. I know I shouldn't judge but going to a funeral dressed like a slob is like going to church in shorts and flip flops - it's disrespectful imo. I hate to say it but I actually felt like walking over to the kid with the backwards baseball cap and smacking it off his head

Let's not forget (in the general discussion of funeral attire) that some cultures don't use black as their colour of mourning. IIRC, East Indian culture uses white, for example.

Adopt the culturally correct means of mourning for the deceased and his family, rather than assuming that a black suit can go to any funeral. (This is not for the OP, as it seems not to apply, but for general consumption.)

gaseousclay said:

I was at a funeral yesterday and I was one of two people in a suit. I was horrified to see others there wearing hoodies, backwards baseball cap, etc. I know I shouldn't judge but going to a funeral dressed like a slob is like going to church in shorts and flip flops - it's disrespectful imo. I hate to say it but I actually felt like walking over to the kid with the backwards baseball cap and smacking it off his head

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Sadly, many years ago, I went to a funeral wearing jeans & leather jacket. I was dressed 'dark' for mourning, but no suit or dress clothes. I was probably the only one of 200 mourners not dressed that way.

I'll never make that mistake again.

But of course, dress for the crowd. That is, to fit in with the crowd. So if the mourners are all the sweat-pants-and-hoodie types and that's what they will be wearing, a suit may not be necessary (and may make you feel uncomfortably overdressed).

Hi Jerry,

Below, please see information on how to dress for a funeral or memorial service, taken from heart2soul.com, a comprehensive resource of funeral information. For answers to other etiquette question, follow this link: http://heart2soul.com/traditions-and-etiquette/funeral-etiquette

Because funerals and memorial services vary so widely today, wearing black or dark gray is no longer required. In fact, in some cultures wearing white is the color of choice. However, you should always be dignified in appearance and show respect for the family.

In Western cultures, a jacket and tie is advisable for men, a suit or nice dress for women. But sometimes a funeral service is tailored to suit the personality of the honoree. For example, if the service is being held on a beach, flip-flops, a sundress for women, and khaki shorts on the men may be perfectly acceptable.

The funeral home or someone from the family can give you further guidance on what to wear.

Best Regards,
Karen Zinn, Founder
Heart2soul.com

My uncle owns a funeral home and I have helped him out from time to time so wear the blazer, slacks, shirt, and tie. The main thing people will remember is that you showed up to pay your respects. While helping my uncle out I cannot count how many times that he and I were the only ones at the service wearing a suit, shirt and tie. Heck one time the preacher was wearing faded jeans and a polo shirt.

Talltexan said:

Howdy!

I'm Jerry and I have a question about attending a funeral of a good friend of mines step dad that passed away. I have a navy blue blazer I wear with charcoal grey slacks with either a navy blue shirt, a white shirt, pink shirt, and a brooks brothers pocket square. My question is can I go to the funeral even though I do not have a suit yet? I want a custom brooks brothers Fitzgerald suit. Since I will be an insurance agent. I'm studying for my P&C general lines exam in Texas. Anyone a P&C agent that might be able to help me study?

Best,
Jerry

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Brother, you'll be fine with the clothing you mentioned. Attending is the most important aspect of the situation, and rest assured that a blazer combo can look great and be completely suitable for funeral wear. I myself have worn a similar blazer/slacks combo to a funeral, and was not under-dressed at all.

- Blue Blazer
- Charcoal Slacks
- White Dress Shirt
- Pocket Square (nice touch, what color?)
- I didn't see mention of a tie-- if you have a dark tie, this would be good; if you don't have a tie, don't worry, you'll still be dressed fine.
= Nice combination of gentlemanly attire, no need to worry about being under-dressed, etc, just go to the funeral and be there for your friend.