What's the most vile aftershave that ever was?

[pmast]

That's it. I've got to smell this stuff. If I can't find a bottle to sniff locally, I'll just order some online. If it's as vile as it is reputed to be, I'll just put it in the powder room for guests, along with some talc, moutwash and a tip jar - give it that classy, nightclub bathroom feel.

Somehow I knew ClubmanRob would be to goto guy for this question. Personally, I now have to try the LV, but can safely draw the line at bottled wino/crackwhore sex/feet/chicken fat...ect. I have worked as a nurse for years and while I can take a lot of smells and still keep a smile on my face, there are some that make you want to hurl in an instant eruption kind of way. It might be good for a practical joke though.

 

[nmerth]

Im a newbie here..only on my third shave (AMAZING) but you guys made me laugh so hard in this thread. thanks I needed this!

 

[fishbdew]

English Leather... tried to like it because it's one of the better ones for your skin, but I just can't stand the smell.

 

[Niles]

English Leather... tried to like it because it's one of the better ones for your skin, but I just can't stand the smell.

Absolutely. It's bad enough, but I once smelled a ten year old bottle that I got with some sort of grooming kit and promptly forgot about it. Awful stuff.

 

[htownmmm]

I already posted this elsewhere, but the worst one hands down was one of these:

I can't remember if it was the blue bottle or the green bottle, but it smells of wino sweat, chicken grease, urine, feet, crackwhore sex and musty death decay. The first time I smelled it, I took a deep whiff of it at a beauty supply store and immediately threw up on the floor. I haven't vomited since I was fourteen, when I drank too much Mickey's Malt Liquor and got on the Tilt-a-Whirl.

Black Magic. Oh my God.

Obviously a smell one would only want to experience once in life.

Thank you Marty for clarifying that. I wasn't sure which color it was... my vision was blurred afterwards.

Did you notice that the initials for Black Magic are BM?

One more thing that I remember about that scent that I forgot to add... rotten eggs.I distinctly remember a sulfuric rotten egg scent.

Aha!-the devil's own brew.


marty

 

[Hagbardr]

English Leather... tried to like it because it's one of the better ones for your skin, but I just can't stand the smell.

I have a stick of English Leather deodorant sitting on my dresser. I don't know why I keep it, because every time I wear it, it makes me smell like sweaty armpits. I can go without deodorant if it's not a hot day, but this stuff makes me smell worse than wearing nothing at all.

 

[jlindy]

My personal dislike is for Aqua Velva... P-U! The scent I like is limited to two weeks of the year. Ah d' smell of deer camp eh... Gun cleaning solvent, bacon grease, wood smoke, stale tobacco, and flat beer! Now that's what a man should smell like. But it is coming up on fish camp which replaces the gun solvent with fish slime!

 

[ctakim]

Wow, I actually like English Leather. Reminds me of the saying around here that the AS chooses you, you don't choose it. But for me there is absolutely no disputing the worst aftershave ever, but I will refrain from mentioning it as there are already 1500 threads devoted to it and a movie script in development.

 

[thunderball]

Erioca is pretty bad.

 

[bluefoxicy]

I had a dream somebody splashed me with Lilac Vegetal and it smelled like canon smoke.

Last night, actually.

Not kidding.

 

[luvmysuper]

I had a dream somebody splashed me with Lilac Vegetal and it smelled like canon smoke.

Last night, actually.

Not kidding.

It does.


And courage.

 

[kingfisher]

Hai Karate

 

[HoratioCaine]

I had a dream somebody splashed me with Lilac Vegetal and it smelled like canon smoke.

Last night, actually.

Not kidding.

This would be a good entry in a, "You know you've been hanging around Badger and Blade too long if..." thread.

 

[DonOhio]

Wow, I actually like English Leather. Reminds me of the saying around here that the AS chooses you, you don't choose it.

I like it, wife likes it so...

But then, I'm wearing NOS Hai Karate at the moment. A/S and deo spray. Can't say I like the scent of either - it's just kind of an experiment (failed experiment).

 

[firehydrant]

Pinaud Lilac Vegetal.

I was tested and my heart was not found true. The Veg did not choose me.

 

[Gammon]

Gun cleaning solvent, bacon grease, wood smoke, stale tobacco, and flat beer! Now that's what a man should smell like.

If I didn't have to smell inoffensive for the sake of other people, I'd use a mixture of 20 year old broken down wheel bearing grease and gear lube! As far as I can tell, most people find this smell purely repulsive. Not me, not at all. Just goes to show how different we all are.

Wood smoke is a not very close second.

My wife absolutely hates it when I purposely stand over the fire just to get the smoke smell on me

 

[mark_mw]

Is there no end to to the senseless slaughter of vegetarians on this forum? One day I am going to have to find this stuff and try it.

So far the most insidious stuff I have found was Williams Lectric Preshave. I tried it out of curiosity, and at first it didn't smell bad. It did leave a strange feel to my skin, like a dry film. After a couple of hours, however, it really started to go south and become increasingly pungent. I could not wash the scent off either. Maybe it was something in my body chemistry, but I ended up smelling very musky/animalish for about a day. Aside from that, I never really liked British Sterling among the other more likable Mem fragrances that were popular when I was growing up.

My cat didn't like the VEG....I sure do!

And he didn't try to bury the bottle

 

[Gammon]

Sorry to be off topic, but I have to say, my cat, "Weirdo" likes the scent of Brut 33 so much that my wife and I will come home from work and he will reek of it. We have no idea how he does it, where he's got it, and how he's been doing it for years and the stuff hasn't dried up.

 

[Austin]

I found Trumpers Skin Food greasy. The scent was pleasant but it left my skin coated.

 

[HoratioCaine]

I found Trumpers Skin Food greasy. The scent was pleasant but it left my skin coated.

Are you including it in the category of "the most vile aftershave that ever was"?