I got married 2 years ago, and my wife and I paid for the wedding. Her parents kicked in some money to help, but they strictly volunteered; we never asked them for anything. I agree with the others here, and strongly urge you to talk to the parents of the bride to be before the plans move far along. Sometimes, people have expectations. Getting all of your cards on the table, and having a serious and frank discussion about the arrangements strike me as the single most important thing you can do, and the sooner the better. Just my .02.
Wedding.. Who Pays for what?
- Thread starter Mojo88
- Start date
Although he won't admit to it, I think this topic (of money) is why my uncle simply had a civil service. As Grandma told me, he phoned her one day and there was a couple of minutes of conversation. Then he said, "Well, I'm married!" Grandmas response was, "Well, who is she?" Bride met his parents a week later. More than fifty years later they are still married.
Same here.
My son recently got married. Him and his wife paid for part, her parents paid for part. We, the wife and I, paid for the rehearsal dinner and the liquor bill.
My wife and I were married many decades ago. We set a budget and paid for our wedding ourselves, and stayed within the budget.
The brides parents pay for the wedding, and the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, traditionally. It is a generous gesture for you to offer to pay for part or half of the wedding costs. However, I think a frank discussion between just the parents of bride and groom is in order so that a clear budget is established. There is no shame in living within one's means. Best to avoid any misunderstandings or to create expectations that are unattainable.
The brides parents pay for the wedding, and the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, traditionally. It is a generous gesture for you to offer to pay for part or half of the wedding costs. However, I think a frank discussion between just the parents of bride and groom is in order so that a clear budget is established. There is no shame in living within one's means. Best to avoid any misunderstandings or to create expectations that are unattainable.
It is traditional in the US for the parents of the groom to throw and pay for an engagement party, and it is also traditional for the parents of the groom to pay for the rehearsal dinner. Beyond that, you would do well to speak with your son and future daughter-in-law about what their expectations are.
Pay whatever you can afford and fits your budget. I think it is a shame that many people follow unwritten rules to things like this and end up putting themselves in a hole right from the very start because they feel that they need to spend way over their head on a marriage ceremony and celebration. If you can't afford something extravagant, then bite the bullet and only invite close family and friends and go out to dinner or something afterwards.
It's actually kind of nice to come from poor families on both sides, there was never any question of either of our parents having enough money to throw a big wedding for us!
I wish it were that simple.
We are staying in our budget but the problem is that for my and my fiancé direct family on both sides is almost 100 people.
Kind of hard to keep it small when that number doesn't include any friends.
without knowing the age and financial status of the prospective bride and groom it's hard to answer the question. we need a little back ground information. ages, jobs, religion, approx number of guest, are both from the same area or is one group going to need to travel, etc..
my fiancé direct family on both sides is almost 100 people. how far 'out' are you calling direct family?
my fiancé direct family on both sides is almost 100 people. how far 'out' are you calling direct family?
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I paid for both of my weddings 
When (if) my kids get married, I'll give them some cash. They can spend it on a big party, or save it for a house down payment. Their choice.
When (if) my kids get married, I'll give them some cash. They can spend it on a big party, or save it for a house down payment. Their choice.
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