Florida Man

[Chef455]

Humorous little distraction SWMBO shared with me after she discovered it on one of her social media wanderings.

Do a Google search for "Florida Man" followed by your birthday (don't include the year) and post the headline here. This IS NOT intended to be a slight against my Floridian friends. I don't know why it only works with Florida, but it does.

Here's mine-

NEWS

Naked Florida Man Performs 'Strange Dance' at McDonald's Before 'Trying to Have Relations With a Railing'​

 

[Dave himself]

Florida man accused of killing his wife after telling police she is 'swimming with the fishes'

 

[Eric_75]

Florida man who marooned himself on lake fountain says he took to much MDMA and wanted to be with the swans

 

[APBinNCA]

Well I just discovered there is a website specifically for this, but I ain’t link’n it because it’s a spam trap.

Unfortunately, the one for my birthday is not funny and now I feel bad after reading it.

 

[Chef455]

Well I just discovered there is a website specifically for this, but I ain’t link’n it because it’s a spam trap.

Unfortunately, the one for my birthday is not funny and now I feel bad after reading it.

That's unfortunate and I'm sorry. I did plug in around a dozen random dates into Google and they all came out odd and amusing. I know nothing about a specific website for it.

 

[joamo]

Man with Florida-shaped tattoo on forehead calls 911 to ask for ride home

 

[emwolf]

mine is Florida Man accused of killing iguana tries to use "stand your ground" defense. Judge says no.

 

[brucered]

Here's mine:​

Florida man who was peeing all over room attacks good Samaritan who tried to stop him, police say.​

A drunk Florida man thanked a good Samaritan who gave him a place to stay when he couldn’t get home by peeing all over his bedroom and then attacking him, according to the Melbourne Police Department.

*******

I just finished watching the series "Atlanta" and there was a "Florida man" episode

 

[TOVT]

MEDLEY, FL– A 39-year-old man has been arrested after he placed a surveillance camera in the women’s restroom at his workplace.

 

[FarmerTan]

It's been awhile since I tried this, but I think my birthday was a humorous headline.


Except for the man from Florida as I recall?

 

[APBinNCA]

That's unfortunate and I'm sorry. I did plug in around a dozen random dates into Google and they all came out odd and amusing. I know nothing about a specific website for it.

They usually are! But throwing a puppy against the wall is never funny.
(and that one is apparently keeping itself at the top of the search)

 

[Chef455]

@APBinNCA you are absolutely correct. There isn't one iota of humor in that. I appreciate you informing me/us and I apologize again.

While my own headline is somewhat amusing I am certain anyone present during the incident certainly didn't find it funny.

So all, please proceed with caution. My intent wasn't to upset anyone with this thread.

 

[brucered]

@APBinNCA you are absolutely correct. There isn't one iota of humor in that. I appreciate you informing me/us and I apologize again.

While my own headline is somewhat amusing I am certain anyone present during the incident certainly didn't find it funny.

So all, please proceed with caution. My intent wasn't to upset anyone with this thread.

Between mine and yours, I'm not sure what would be more traumatizing.....getting peed on by a drunk houseguest or watching someone dry hump a handrail while trying to enjoy your Big Mac.

Fun fact - I'm 50 and have never taken a bite of a Big Mac. I'm a quarter pounder guy.

 

[APBinNCA]

Well I tried to find something funny with family member's birthdays...

"Florida man arrested after hitting girlfriend in face with burrito"
(not sure how I feel about that one, no never mind it's not good)

"Florida couple arrested for having secks on sidewalk in broad daylight... again"
(glad I don't have any family in Florida because our birthdays aren't funny)

Alright, I guess I am done, somebody has got to come up with something...

 

[brucered]

They usually are! But throwing...... the wall is never funny.
(and that one is apparently keeping itself at the top of the search)

You must share a birthday with our son. Luckily, I saw this one for his date (and yours).

Florida man caught on camera licking doorbell​

LAKE WORTH, Fla. (WSVN) — A Florida man has been caught on camera licking a homeowner’s doorbell.

Video shows the man, who is wearing a Miami Hurricanes shirt, standing outside the home before leaning in to lick the doorbell several times.

He then steps back and starts gesturing to what appears to be a stack of flyers or newspapers.

The man is then seen starting to walk away before returning to lick the doorbell again.

 

[Chef455]

Between mine and yours, I'm not sure what would be more traumatizing.....getting peed on by a drunk houseguest or watching someone dry hump a handrail while trying to enjoy your Big Mac.

Fun fact - I'm 50 and have never taken a bite of a Big Mac. I'm a quarter pounder guy.

Quarter Pounder guy here as well. Only a couple times a year though as it takes me 6 months to forget how "amazing" I feel after subjecting myself. It always seems like a good idea at the time.

Between yours and mine I think I come out ahead. I'd rather just be an observer than an unwilling participant.

 

[Beefdrippings]

 

[Elliot]

To be fair, I was expecting worse.

Florida man claims he was driving car with 2 missing tires because of a 'curse': 'That is paranormal activity'​

 

[BrightSideBob]

Florida man without arms charged after allegedly stabbing tourist with his feet.

 

[Mike M]

Here's one from my birthday a few years ago

Man attacks Elmo; Elmo wins

(CNN) -- A Florida man picked the wrong day to tickle Elmo.

The man who police say assaulted another man dressed in an Elmo suit left the altercation with two broken fingers and was detained for a mental health evaluation, police said.