B&B Member's Classic Quotes

Every now & then I will be reading a post & sure enough a member will say something that makes you laugh.
The power of laughter is great therapy and there is no shortage of a good dose of laughter found right here amongst the threads at B&B. A vast goldmine.

Famous quotes from famous people have been eloquently expressed & passed along throughout history. Will Rogers once said " We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can."

So what better place to collect all these laughable quotes our very own B&B members have quipped right here at the B&B on a daily basis and have provided us with endless entertainment all the while, the very least, bringing a smile to our BBS shaved faces.

Is there something that has been said by a B&B member in a thread that brings a smile to your face and perhaps a tear to your eye from the shear humour or clever wit of what they have just said?

So with a nod or a tip of the hat, what quotes by B&B members have you read in the posts that have provided a classic laughable moment for you?

I thought I would kick things off with the following quote from fellow B&B member Moose:

"Don't ignore the salespeople. Look at it as an opportunity to have fun. Ask for a left-handed brush. Or one in silvertip platypus."
__________________Moose

Sounds like fun. *quickly deletes all his posts*

"Ya, just thanks. You've just made me turtle for the next month. " - RichGem

I'm sorry Rich, I can't help myself...

By Sluggo: (from the ScYcS Lot #5 thread)

I have prepared my legal brief, and I think the evidence is overwhelmingly your favor. My clients, Mr Cased Slim Adjustable and Mr. Cased Aristocrat have done absolutely nothing wrong except loved their owners throughout the years.

What did they get in return? Abuse! Someone has carelessly rubbed the numbers off of Mr. Slim, and someone else had the audacity to remove the gold end caps from Mr. Aristocrat!

I ask you, nay, I implore you to find in the favor of my clients and reward them $40 USD for their pain and suffering (Note, the law offices of Sluggo will be the recipient of these funds).

My clients have prepared a statement they would like to read the jury:

Mr. Slim (speaking while holding back tears): My numbers have been rubbed off, and my case has a broken hinge, but I am a good shaver! My TTO is tight and I still click when I am adjusted.

Mr. Aristocrat (again speaking while holding back tears): I too have not been treated with the care I deserve! My case is in good condition and my TTO is also tight. I do have some plate loss on my doors, and of course there are my end caps that my attorney mentioned. I too would make a good shaver!
Please find in favor of my clients, and give them the care and love they deserve.

I rest my case.

I think I just pooed a little.... - JimBow

my personal favorite of my own here:

The feather tried to kill me. It is not made of steel - it's pure, concentrated evil in a small form. It giggled at me as it sliced and diced. Two passes of utter hell.

Click to expand...

the irony of course is that my goto blade is now the feather.

"Hey, let the man explore a new angle. It's good to challenge the traditional dogma, even if Tabac smells like a lusciious blond with a Farah Fawcett hairdo in a steamy smokey nightclub and Arko smells like a nasty detergent in the basement. OK, I confess I've only tried the tabac. " - Loueedacat

rabidpotatochip said:

Sounds like fun. *quickly deletes all his posts*

"Ya, just thanks. You've just made me turtle for the next month. " - RichGem

I'm sorry Rich, I can't help myself...

Click to expand...

LOL!

The really funny part was that when I saw this thread (and hadn't seen who posted in it yet), I thought to post: "Any title that Chip has ever had."

You so owe me an alcoholic beverage.

RichGem said:

LOL!

The really funny part was that when I saw this thread (and hadn't seen who posted in it yet), I thought to post: "Any title that Chip has ever had."

You so owe me an alcoholic beverage.

Click to expand...

I think there's only one title that was a direct quote, but hoo boy... it's a doozy.

I'm working on getting you a beer by the way. Not sure how it will help wash down the cookies, but we'll see.

rabidpotatochip said:

I think there's only one title that was a direct quote, but hoo boy... it's a doozy.

I'm working on getting you a beer by the way. Not sure how it will help wash down the cookies, but we'll see.

Click to expand...

Well... actually, I'm not a beer drinker and the cookies do, more than likely, obviate the alcohol debt. <lurking by my door waiting for the mail man>

RichGem said:

Well... actually, I'm not a beer drinker and the cookies do, more than likely, obviate the alcohol debt. <lurking by my door waiting for the mail man>

Click to expand...

Then I guess I owe you a uh... root beer? Ginger ale? Dr Pepper?

I guarantee you'll get a laugh out of those cookies, in a good way.

On a side note, as penance for temporarily hijacking this thread I might as well just get this one out there... my worst moment.

"Must be because I am Welsh Hungarian."

"My rack will be awesome either way."

rabidpotatochip said:

Then I guess I owe you a uh... root beer? Ginger ale? Dr Pepper?

Click to expand...

Thanks to this horrible place wink, I've recently discovered the whiskey sour.

I guarantee you'll get a laugh out of those cookies, in a good way.

On a side note, as penance for temporarily hijacking this thread I might as well just get this one out there... my worst moment.

Click to expand...

Truly epic. And reminds me of another epic quote attributed to Zeni: "I'd put on a grass skirt for Chip." It's comforting to know that I'm not the only victim of your title-generating abilities.

From DPM802, today, "Toss the blade. Once they taste blood, they're like vampires."

RichGem said:

Thanks to this horrible place wink, I've recently discovered the whiskey sour.



Truly epic. And reminds me of another epic quote attributed to Zeni: "I'd put on a grass skirt for Chip." It's comforting to know that I'm not the only victim of your title-generating abilities.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I miss seeing that title.

DunEdinRanger said:

From DPM802, today, "Toss the blade. Once they taste blood, they're like vampires."

Click to expand...

That's the best one yet...

It was a woman who drove me to drink. I never thanked her for it.
-WC Fields

grumpy old codger said:

It was a woman who drove me to drink. I never thanked her for it.
-WC Fields

Click to expand...

Didn't know he was a member.

I LOVE this thread...gonna have to do some digging!

From Shane in the Star Trek Cologne Thread....


"They smell like virginity"

Here's another from richmondesi today....


"I see she's letting you borrow the pants to use the computer for awhile"

Unfortunately, I just realized that if you haven't actually read the thread, you've lost the context which makes it so funny!