Isn't Nature Wonderful?

[jazzman]

Do you think these scientists got it right, based on your personal experience?

Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men
Jeanna Bryner
LiveScience Staff Writer
LiveScience.comThu Apr 10, 11:25 AM ET

Women seeking a lifelong mate might do well to choose the guy a notch below them in the looks category. New research reveals couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband are more positive and supportive than other match-ups.

The reason, researchers suspect, is that men place great value on beauty, whereas women are more interested in having a supportive husband.

Researchers admit that looks are subjective, but studies show there are some universal standards, including large eyes, "baby face" features, symmetric faces, so-called average faces, and specific waist-hip ratios in men versus women.

Past research has shown that individuals with comparable stunning looks are attracted to each other and once they hook up they report greater relationship satisfaction. These studies, however, are mainly based on new couples, showing that absolute beauty is important in the earliest stages of couple-hood, said lead researcher James McNulty of the University of Tennessee. But the role of physical attractiveness in well-established partnerships, such as marriage, is somewhat of a mystery.

The new study, published in the February issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, reveals looks continue to matter beyond that initial attraction, though in a different way.

Supportive spouses

McNulty's team assessed 82 couples who had married within the previous six months and had been together for nearly three years prior to tying the knot. Participants were on average in their early to mid-20s.

Researchers videotaped as each spouse discussed with their partner a personal problem for 10 minutes. The tapes were analyzed for whether partners were supportive of spouses' issues, which included goals to eat healthier, to land a new job and to exercise more often.

"A negative husband would've said, 'This is your problem, you deal with it,'" McNulty said, "versus 'Hey, I'm here for you; what do you want me to do?; how can I help you?'"

A group of trained "coders" rated the facial attractiveness of each spouse on a scale from 1 to 10, with the perfect 10 representing the ultimate babe. About a third of the couples had a more attractive wife, a third a more attractive husband and the remaining partners showed matching looks.

Trophy wives

Overall, wives and husbands behaved more positively when the woman was better looking.

The finding "seems very reasonable," said Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at MIT's Program in Media Arts and Sciences and Sloan School of Management. "Men are very sensitive to women's attractiveness. Women seem to be sensitive to men's height and salary," said Ariely, who was not involved in the recent study.

In couples with more attractive husbands, both partners were less supportive of one another. McNulty suggests wives mirror, in some ways, the level of support they get from husbands.

"The husband who's less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than maybe he can expect to get," McNulty told LiveScience. "He's getting something better than he's providing at that level. So he's going to work hard to maintain that relationship."

Men who are more attractive than their partners would theoretically have access to partners who are more attractive than their current spouses, McNulty said. The "grass could be greener" mentality could make these men less satisfied and less committed to maintain the marriage.

Physical attractiveness of husbands is not as important to women, the researchers suggest. Rather, wives are looking for supportive husbands, they say.

So it seems the mismatch in looks is actually a perfect match. "Equitable is unlikely to mean the same on every dimension," Ariely said during a telephone interview. "It just means that overall two people make sense together."

[OldSchoolYoungin]

Yes, I believe this has alot of truth to it based on my own personal experience. I'd consider myself a decent looking guy, but I'd peg most of my girlfriends, including my current (and long-standing) one a couple notches above me. I can't say that we've had anything other than a perfect relationship. The heart of a relationship, however, lies in whether the other person is committed to the same values that you are. I wouldn't say at all that I treat a woman better because she's better looking, but I can certainly see how this applies to less-attractive gentlemen who don't want to lose what they've got! I do have to wonder sometimes, "how'd I end up with this one?!". Being sensitive to your partner's needs is going to be reciprocated (with any decent woman), and I fear that alot of gentlemen simply don't know how to treat women. She is always sensitive to my needs, I am always sensitive to her's. No lying, no cheating. Being committed to the same values in a relationship. You'd be amazed how well a relationship can work if these things are in place, and these are the things any decent woman really values.

Many women are not nearly as bent on some things as men may think, i.e. money, height, physical appearance (personal hygiene, dress, and being unhealthy are a different story), etc. After dealing with a bunch of assholes for years, most women with a decent head on their shoulders simply want a stable relationship. And many of them know that a somewhat less attractive man is going to be more sensitive to their needs, as the more attractive men may be more willing to treat women like sex idols due to the female attention they've gotten from fluezies and the inflated ego that often goes along with it. I know this is a huge generalization, and I'm certainly not saying all very good looking guys are assholes. This is what I've been told by women before, they're not necessarily attracted to very handsome guys because they feel they'll be treated badly in a relationship.

All that long-windedness over with, I am indebtedly grateful to be in the relationship I am currently in. In fact, I am lucky to have had the success with the relationships that I have, though I'm not sure if luck has anything to do with it. Having some emotional intelligence goes a long way, and knowing how to treat a women goes even further. Even though I'm somewhat short, about 5'7", I don't recall ever having problems with it pertaining to women. I've heard from many women that as long as the guy is as tall or taller than them, they really don't care. Women apparently have always found me attractive, but for the life of me I can't figure out why . I've been told it's because of my maturity, intelligence, general outlook and attitude. Sometimes, the nice guy does finish first . Treat women how you'd want to be treated, and they'll do the same for you.

[adamjaskie]

As Jimmy Soul said...

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her, then she starts
Doin' the things that will break his heart

Just had to get that out of the way early.

[sparkchaser]

Continuing:

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you