I contend that all bathrooms are really a pocket of turbulence in the space-time continuum and that when a person enters one, they never know what time it will be when they exit.
For instance, I know it takes me five minutes to complete one pass of my shave (timed on a watch brought with me into the bathroom). This morning my girlfriend interrupted me so she could use the bathroom near the end of a pass; I had only my chin and upper lip to complete. I exited the bathroom and let her go about her business. She was done and I was back in to finish my shave before one minute had passed on the clock on my dresser. After finishing off my chin and upper lip, I opened the bathroom door only to see that eight minutes had passed since I re-entered the bathroom.
Also, it apparently took me four minutes to apply my aftershave balm this morning which seems like a ridiculously long amount of time for such a task. Last night while preparing for bed I took my contact lenses out, brushed my teeth, used the toilet, washed my hands, and checked to make sure I wasn't developing a uni-brow. I was certain at least ten minutes had passed, but according to my clock all that took only four minutes. I can't believe it took me as long to rub some Proraso into my face this morning as it did to accomplish all those things before bed last night.
Don't even get me started on the slippage of time that takes place when I'm in the shower. I believe going behind the shower curtain at least triples the power of whatever force is effecting the rest of the bathroom.
For instance, I know it takes me five minutes to complete one pass of my shave (timed on a watch brought with me into the bathroom). This morning my girlfriend interrupted me so she could use the bathroom near the end of a pass; I had only my chin and upper lip to complete. I exited the bathroom and let her go about her business. She was done and I was back in to finish my shave before one minute had passed on the clock on my dresser. After finishing off my chin and upper lip, I opened the bathroom door only to see that eight minutes had passed since I re-entered the bathroom.
Also, it apparently took me four minutes to apply my aftershave balm this morning which seems like a ridiculously long amount of time for such a task. Last night while preparing for bed I took my contact lenses out, brushed my teeth, used the toilet, washed my hands, and checked to make sure I wasn't developing a uni-brow. I was certain at least ten minutes had passed, but according to my clock all that took only four minutes. I can't believe it took me as long to rub some Proraso into my face this morning as it did to accomplish all those things before bed last night.
Don't even get me started on the slippage of time that takes place when I'm in the shower. I believe going behind the shower curtain at least triples the power of whatever force is effecting the rest of the bathroom.
