Being a gentleman

It's interesting the bantering around of the term "gentleman". In the olden days, a gentleman was someone who owned land, plain and simple. So you could be a gentleman and a cad at the same time. Now the term gentleman has begun to mean something else.

So what is a gentleman?

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IMHO someone who is an adult male who is not a jerk

I certainly has come to denote a man of good conduct, courteous, confident, but not boastful, capable, honest, decent, humble. All those things. I know you just tossed this out for discussions sake, but I'm sure you agree that if you have to ask, you probably aren't one (at least by the currently accepted standard).

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Oh, the irony that it was done in this thread.

I guess what I am trying to say is that the definition of a gentleman to me has evolved into actions and behaviours that one does not engage in rather then specific things one might do.

Oh -- don't take my amusement at the irony as a dig at you, sir!

I read the original post, and it certainly was not a slip of gentlemanly behavior, just a mild slip of the tongue. However, sleep deprived as I currently am, I was still amused by the irony of it.

That, and sleep-deprived as I am, I'm very amused at the look of the -lol- face. So I needed an excuse to post another one.



See?

Under the definition of some, none of the Founding Fathers would have qualified as "gentlemen".....Far too much political discussion.........Any civil person should be able to manage a civil conversation on current events.

I might also add that most here prove my point beautifully........

mulepackin said:

I certainly has come to denote a man of good conduct, courteous, confident, but not boastful, capable, honest, decent, humble. All those things. I know you just tossed this out for discussions sake, but I'm sure you agree that if you have to ask, you probably aren't one (at least by the currently accepted standard).

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Of course. I'd agree with that. I have certain ideas of what being a "gentleman" denotes. But it seems that "gentlemanliness" is an evolving standard, and is denoted by society as a whole and individuals in particular.

The short and sweet meaning that applies here is, "A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior."

_JP_ said:

The short and sweet meaning that applies here is, "A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior."

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Perfect!

My definition is maybe a bit more specific, yet more simple as well. Looking out for a females best interest and treating women with respect. Now, this is still a bit ambiguous. What does best interest mean and what does respect mean? Well I could spend all day debating that one. I will give you a couple of "for instances," but being a gentleman is not excluusive to these.
Old school stuff to show being considerate like opening doors and not cursing like a trucker.
I usually don't accept it when guys are throwing sexual inuindos at a woman for sake of fun.
Now, on the other hand, these days its almost a negative thing to be a gentlemen in a lot of cases. Lots of younger women especially don't care for this kind of shilvery(or however you spell it) and men who are old-school in this way are seen to be overly sensative. "Can't you take a joke? Don't be so serious!" I get that from men and women alike. So these days I reserve my gentelmenly conduct for people that would appriciate it, and thoes that I care for most: mom, girlfriend, granny, close friends. In most other cases, I find that, if I'm sticking up for a woman, young and old alike these days, they will often not side with me because they don't want to be seen as sensative or weak. It used to really bother me that women were not strong in these type of convictions, but I have learned that I can't save the world, just thoes I care about, which is kinda troubling in a larger sense.
Wow. You opened up a whole can of worms there!

Chivalry

asat00: The things that you mentioned in your post are things that I was taught to do when I was young. A standard disciplinary action by my parents would be to read a section, chosen by my mother, from the Emily Post etiquette book and write a about it. The length got longer as I got older. I plan on continuing this with my sons when they get older. Believe it or not, that stuff sticks with you. It took my wife a while to come around, but that was because she was not used to being treated like a lady.

As far as how people react, that is not something that you can control. Just maintain your standards. You will earn more resepect than you realize from those around you. My problem is that I have higher standards for myself than for others.

_JP_ said:

The short and sweet meaning that applies here is, "A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior."

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Well said

asat00 said:

...So these days I reserve my gentelmenly conduct for people that would appriciate it, and thoes that I care for most...:

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It is my opinion that true Gentlemen don't pick and choose when, where, and to whom they display their Gentlemanly conduct. Such conduct should be displayed at all times and afforded equally to all people.

my 2 cents

SCWilson said:

A standard disciplinary action by my parents would be to read a section, chosen by my mother, from the Emily Post etiquette book and write a about it.

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Nice! For far too many people today, Emily Post is a meaningless name (and not just the young'uns: I'm looking at you, too, baby boomers; after all, many of you are responsible for raising the current generation, lack of manners and all).

Emily Post is a great book. Everyone should have a copy.

_JP_ said:

The short and sweet meaning that applies here is, "A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior."

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That pretty much sums it up.

Rorschuck said:

Nice! For far too many people today, Emily Post is a meaningless name (and not just the young'uns: I'm looking at you, too, baby boomers; after all, many of you are responsible for raising the current generation, lack of manners and all).

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Actually for the most part, the baby boomers raised the generation that is currently raising children. I'm technically the last year of the baby boom* (1964) and while I am still raising a child, the vast majority of boomers are older than I am, and now have empty nests.

However, I concur with your observation about Emily Post -- she's a virtual unknown to most people under the age of 40.


* I prefer to label myself a "tweener" -- that mini-generation between Boomers and Gen-X'ers. Most of the major Boomer "Where were you when" events either happened before I was born, or when I was so young, that it had little impact on my growth. (I.e., JFK assassination, Woodstock, MLK's civil rights marches, etc.)