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"Robber disguises himself as hockey goalie to steal beer in Canada." ( https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...-top-stories-2_el-goalie-227pm:homepage/story)

Besides the skates, however, there’s just one piece of the uniform this beer thief forgot.

“He was wearing everything but a mask,” Russell police Cpl. Brett Church told the Winnipeg Free Press this week about the incident that occurred the morning of Aug. 15.

Church said the suspect was wearing a ski mask to obscure his face, so identifying the perpetrator might be difficult. The man’s gait, however, might give some clues. Church said the no-good netminder held his hockey stick “in his weak hand… like he’s walking in a goalie stance.” Thus, Church said: “He must be a goalie.”

The official news release about the crime, which was released this week with the surveillance footage, begs to differ, however.

“He may have been a defenseman or forward in disguise as he was wearing jersey #17 — a non-traditional number for goalies,” it said (via the CBC).

^Nice police work!
 
What a hoser.
Ummm. Not a "hoser" as such, just a common thief.
A hoser is a very specific kind of bully.

  • The border guard who decide that something is "hinky" about your car (maybe a political bumper sticker?), so you're delayed 6 hours and they find nothing.
  • The shop owner who flips the sign to "Closed" when you get to the door 2 minutes before the posted closing time.
  • The teacher who confiscates your [whatever] for the semester, instead of simply asking you to put it away.
  • The "friend" who comes to pick you up in his car, but drives ahead four feet when you approach the car, then stops, then drives ahead four feet, stops, etc. laughing like a loon all the time.
  • The babysitter who arbitrarily announces that it's bedtime 2 hour before your usual bedtime.
  • The grumpy guy who won't let you get your ball from his fenced yard.
  • The cop that gives you a speeding ticket for going 1 klick over the limit.
Essentially, anybody who will mess with you just because they're officially allowed to.
 
It was probably this guy:

$denislemieux_medium.jpg
 
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