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Using parents as a reference on job applications

I'm 33 years old and in the past when I've filled out job applications I've used people who I thought were friends as references. Several times I have provided up to 5 people as a reference. These people are more an acquaintances then friends. Not once have they picked up the phone or returned messages left to them by the HR people. My question is how would it look to use my parents a references on job applications?

Thanx!
Charlie
 

Doc4

Stumpy in cold weather
Staff member
No.

It looks like you don't have anyone you can offer as a "real" reference. Ideally, you want someone you have worked for (either employer, supervisor) who can comment (without being bound by ties of blood or longterm friendship to feel or appear to feel the need to say nice things) about your qualities as a worker. Equally good are people for whom you have done volunteer work ... the guy who runs the soup kitchen where you spend each Saturday morning, for example.
 
I agree with Doc4.

Try letting the folks you use as a reference know you are listing them on applications and urge them to respond.
 
I've tried using former bosses but they have transferred to a different position or have moved o. & I have no contact with them.
 
References can be tricky. Because of libel and slander laws in the U.S., many companies have developed policies that don't permit anything but a neutral reference (dates of employment).
 

Toothpick

Needs milk and a bidet!
Staff member
I have 2 friends as my references. But luckily I've worked with both of them so I've listed them as "former co-worker".

I wouldn't use any relatives. Maybe ask your former boss if you can use them or college professor?

My brother put me down as a reference once. He asked, I said sure why not. Little did I know he put me down as his boss! And wouldn't you know I found out when they called me. "So how long did John work for you?" ummmm well...uhh about 2 years?. "What kind of worker would you say he was". Ohhhh he...always did everything I asked. He was good. Yup. This went on for about 20 minutes. I was making stuff up as we went. I hung up and had a nice chat with my brother.
 
Agreed, don't use them it will look terrible. Tell us more about yourself, maybe that will help jingle someone you've never considered. Such as, what other hobbies do you have? Did you have a special professor or teacher that was special to you? How about neighbors you grew up with or have known and done things for them like mow their yard, take out their trash? What jobs have you had in the past? Doesn't matter big or small. Video store, lawn care, babysitting, gas station, Microsoft, Google, etc? Another thing I do with every reference I use (and I use the same reference pool with every application) is I immediately get in contact with them, let them know I added them as a reference and tell them the job, title, why I applied, why I think it would be a good fit. If they are busy, send them the job description or a quick few bullets on the job and why it's perfect for you.
 
Skip the parents. Surely you have 5 friends, current or former co-workers or bosses, or acquaintances from school, church, or other civic roles to choose from.

Good luck!
 
Good ideas mentioned so far. The only thing I have to add is to keep contact with your ex coworkers and bosses. You can use Linked-In to do this (sort of a Facebook of the professional world). Many folks are already there, but if not you can send them an invite to join. This is for the future of course...too late for your old contacts now.

I do concur with Jim though... many companies now prohibit managers from giving references for former employees :/ . Coworkers are usually not prohibited from doing so, however.
 

Doc4

Stumpy in cold weather
Staff member
Assuming you are leaving on good terms, get your supervisor to write you a letter of reference. He can say all those glowing things about you being punctual and diligent on company letterhead, and even if he is long gone when an interviewer calls, th company can confirm yes you worke there, but you have th glowing recommendation in black and white.
 

Alacrity59

Wanting for wisdom
References can be tricky. Because of libel and slander laws in the U.S., many companies have developed policies that don't permit anything but a neutral reference (dates of employment).

This is a huge factor. I've worked for a couple of huge employers who have exactly this policy. We could still, very carefully, give personal references.

Now ask yourself. Who would be willing to stick their neck out to give you a personal reference. This is a question you need to be thinking of while employed.
 

kelbro

Alfred Spatchcock
Wow, you might have just stumbled onto a business opportunity. Get out on social media and set up a reference network. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. Or, "I provide references" $xx.xx

When it takes off, you could be the one doing the hiring!
 
I do this every time. Usually before I even leave the parking lot. I text? Call and email. Still no luck.

I recommend getting their agreement to serve as a reference BEFORE any interview. Then tell them immediately after the interview to expect a call or letter.
 

Alacrity59

Wanting for wisdom
Wow, you might have just stumbled onto a business opportunity. Get out on social media and set up a reference network. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. Or, "I provide references" $xx.xx

When it takes off, you could be the one doing the hiring!

That there would be yer Linked in.
 
I recommend getting their agreement to serve as a reference BEFORE any interview. Then tell them immediately after the interview to expect a call or letter.

This!

You should only list as references who've agreed in advance to be one. At the very least, you'd want to make sure you know they're still feeling friendly towards you :)
 
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