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A tale from a place beyond the grave...(also known as 'Wilkinsons')

Just a little note before I begin; if anyone who lacks any sort of imagination or sense of humour is reading this post, just save yourself the trouble and skip to the bottom for the summary. Also, on another little side-note, English is not my first language, and as such, if my story doesn't quite work (gramatically or in any other way) then I do apologise.

And now on to the tale:


When I woke up this morning I never imagined what I would be facing later on. The day went by without anything extraordinary. But, this was to change! I took a trip to the town centre to get a few things (including fly paper, because those damned bastard things are really p***ing me off!). My first stop was "Wilkinson's". A shop that sells pretty much anything, from soap to gardening and DIY equipment. As usual nowadays, I dropped by the shaving isle on my way around, and there it was! I had heard tales of cheap and evil brushes - brushes so evil, they would bring a man to the brink of self-mutilation, and lead him to the cruel depths of shaving foams and Mach 3s and, and, F-f-f-fusions-s-s. It looked so innocent in its little black box, and at 39p, it was practically a gift.

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On my way to the checkouts I could already sense the sudden change. No longer small and innocent, it now glared at me from within its dark cave. Finally I got home, and out of sheer boredom, I decided to get it out, and just play with it - BIG mistake! I gave it a taste of my beloved VDH soap, and then gave it a small taste of my face, and it was then that I realised its true form - it was one of them! The evils that men fear; that would indeed drive them away from the wonderful traditions of wetshaving, into the clutches of Gillettes multi-blade monsters, and seas of cheap and smelly shaving gel! Its hard bristles scraping accross the face, and my hand guided, as if by magic, but its artificial black body. I was already shedding itself of its excess fur, as it eagerly awaited my imminent destruction! Fortunately, I have prevailed, and will now use its powers for the good of razor-kind. But let it be a lesson to you all, next time you enter the deep layer of Wilkinson's, beware of the "Wilko" shaving brush!

Ok, and now for those individuals mentioned at the top. Basically, I saw a cheap bristle brush in Wilkinson's, and bought it for cleaning razors (these hard and cheap bristle brushes are ideal for getting into all the small areas). When I got home I decided, just for a laugh, to try it out, and was horrified by how hard it was, the amount of bristles it lost (at least 15 so far) and the horribly bad quality. Fortunately I knew all this already.
 
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Having just broken my clavicle, and not able to use a straight, I've been using Bic Metals lately (I just don't really care for a DE shave). This morning, though, I pulled out my NOS Wilkinson Bonded cartridge razor!! Talk about a blast from the past! Then I see this thread...
 
I wasn't trying to say there was anything wrong with cartridge razors, I just used them for effect.
 
Well one less thing to buy from Wilko's I guess, bizarrely I've just seen someone bidding on one on the bay, 99p bid with £1.25 postage, for a 39p brush? Oops :lol:

I'm still intrigued by the 79p shaving oil they sell, to use as a preshave. Might as well try it, it's not like it will break the bank!
 
Its actually a different Wilkinsons. The razor is Wilkinson-Sword, Wilkinson's is just a shop here.
 
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