Baker's Dozen: Corrupted Quotations Edition

At a Major Turning Point in History, What Would You Have Been Quoted as Saying?

1. "It's hard finding two of each species to put on this ark... one of each will just have to do!" -- Noah
2. "Who will make this turbulent priest an offer he cannot refuse?"
3. "Sir, Don't you think we should set up the LP/OP's tonight?" --Hessian Sergeant(Trenton 1776)
4. Eenie Meenie Miney Mo, Cross the Rubicon or should I go home and watch telly? - J. Caesar
5. "Damn the torpedoes. I have a game to play at 5. Turn the ship around."
6. You want me to ride into the Valley of Death with cannons on the left and the right? You're off your chump matey.
7. "No thanks Delilah, I already have a barber."
8. "Yes, Sir ... I understand that you're my Commanding Officer, a West Point graduate, and a decorated war hero. But do you think you could possibly re-think that last order, Mr. Custer?"

At a Major Turning Point in History, What Would You Have Been Quoted as Saying?

1. "It's hard finding two of each species to put on this ark... one of each will just have to do!" -- Noah
2. "Who will make this turbulent priest an offer he cannot refuse?"
3. "Sir, Don't you think we should set up the LP/OP's tonight?" --Hessian Sergeant(Trenton 1776)
4. Eenie Meenie Miney Mo, Cross the Rubicon or should I go home and watch telly? - J. Caesar
5. "Damn the torpedoes. I have a game to play at 5. Turn the ship around."
6. You want me to ride into the Valley of Death with cannons on the left and the right? You're off your chump matey.
7. "No thanks Delilah, I already have a barber."
8. "Yes, Sir ... I understand that you're my Commanding Officer, a West Point graduate, and a decorated war hero. But do you think you could possibly re-think that last order, Mr. Custer?"
9. "Go East young man."

At a Major Turning Point in History, What Would You Have Been Quoted as Saying?

1. "It's hard finding two of each species to put on this ark... one of each will just have to do!" -- Noah
2. "Who will make this turbulent priest an offer he cannot refuse?"
3. "Sir, Don't you think we should set up the LP/OP's tonight?" --Hessian Sergeant(Trenton 1776)
4. Eenie Meenie Miney Mo, Cross the Rubicon or should I go home and watch telly? - J. Caesar
5. "Damn the torpedoes. I have a game to play at 5. Turn the ship around."
6. You want me to ride into the Valley of Death with cannons on the left and the right? You're off your chump matey.
7. "No thanks Delilah, I already have a barber."
8. "Yes, Sir ... I understand that you're my Commanding Officer, a West Point graduate, and a decorated war hero. But do you think you could possibly re-think that last order, Mr. Custer?"
9. "Go East young man."
10. "Those square corners finally solved the issue of that wheel getting away on us."

At a Major Turning Point in History, What Would You Have Been Quoted as Saying?

1. "It's hard finding two of each species to put on this ark... one of each will just have to do!" -- Noah
2. "Who will make this turbulent priest an offer he cannot refuse?"
3. "Sir, Don't you think we should set up the LP/OP's tonight?" --Hessian Sergeant(Trenton 1776)
4. Eenie Meenie Miney Mo, Cross the Rubicon or should I go home and watch telly? - J. Caesar
5. "Damn the torpedoes. I have a game to play at 5. Turn the ship around."
6. You want me to ride into the Valley of Death with cannons on the left and the right? You're off your chump matey.
7. "No thanks Delilah, I already have a barber."
8. "Yes, Sir ... I understand that you're my Commanding Officer, a West Point graduate, and a decorated war hero. But do you think you could possibly re-think that last order, Mr. Custer?"
9. "Go East young man."
10. "Those square corners finally solved the issue of that wheel getting away on us."
11. Eureka! I finally figured it out! The length of time spent in the bath is directly proportional to the depth of wrinkling in the fingers.

At a Major Turning Point in History, What Would You Have Been Quoted as Saying?

1. "It's hard finding two of each species to put on this ark... one of each will just have to do!" -- Noah
2. "Who will make this turbulent priest an offer he cannot refuse?"
3. "Sir, Don't you think we should set up the LP/OP's tonight?" --Hessian Sergeant(Trenton 1776)
4. Eenie Meenie Miney Mo, Cross the Rubicon or should I go home and watch telly? - J. Caesar
5. "Damn the torpedoes. I have a game to play at 5. Turn the ship around."
6. You want me to ride into the Valley of Death with cannons on the left and the right? You're off your chump matey.
7. "No thanks Delilah, I already have a barber."
8. "Yes, Sir ... I understand that you're my Commanding Officer, a West Point graduate, and a decorated war hero. But do you think you could possibly re-think that last order, Mr. Custer?"
9. "Go East young man."
10. "Those square corners finally solved the issue of that wheel getting away on us."
11. Eureka! I finally figured it out! The length of time spent in the bath is directly proportional to the depth of wrinkling in the fingers.
12. "I agree. Those are some pretty cool trinkets. Still, if it's all the same to you, we'll just keep our land, here, in good ol' Manhattan."

Battle of the Sexes. Corrupt a quote said by a man or woman and spin it to reflect the unique perspective of the opposite sex.

Battle of the Sexes. Corrupt a quote said by a man or woman and spin it to reflect the unique perspective of the opposite sex.

1. Men are from Mars. Its unknown where women come from, but they should all go back there.

Battle of the Sexes. Corrupt a quote said by a man or woman and spin it to reflect the unique perspective of the opposite sex.

1. Men are from Mars. Its unknown where women come from, but they should all go back there.

2. It is generally recognised that women are better than men at languages, personal relations and multi-tasking, but less good at map-reading and spatial awareness. It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that women might be less good at sewing and cooking. -- Stephen Hawking
3. Do these pants make my bu...ah, who cares?
4. I don't cook! I don't clean! I don't do the laundry! What do you not do?!!
5. If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at car magazines, the tool aisle of a good hardware store, centerfolds, B&B, you’ll never have enough - Arlo Winfrey

Battle of the Sexes. Corrupt a quote said by a man or woman and spin it to reflect the unique perspective of the opposite sex.

1. Men are from Mars. Its unknown where women come from, but they should all go back there.

2. It is generally recognised that women are better than men at languages, personal relations and multi-tasking, but less good at map-reading and spatial awareness. It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that women might be less good at sewing and cooking. -- Stephen Hawking
3. Do these pants make my bu...ah, who cares?
4. I don't cook! I don't clean! I don't do the laundry! What do you not do?!!
5. If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at car magazines, the tool aisle of a good hardware store, centerfolds, B&B, you’ll never have enough - Arlo Winfrey
6. I may have the body of a week and feeble man, but...hey. where are you all going?

Battle of the Sexes. Corrupt a quote said by a man or woman and spin it to reflect the unique perspective of the opposite sex.

1. Men are from Mars. Its unknown where women come from, but they should all go back there.

2. It is generally recognised that women are better than men at languages, personal relations and multi-tasking, but less good at map-reading and spatial awareness. It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that women might be less good at sewing and cooking. -- Stephen Hawking
3. Do these pants make my bu...ah, who cares?
4. I don't cook! I don't clean! I don't do the laundry! What do you not do?!!
5. If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at car magazines, the tool aisle of a good hardware store, centerfolds, B&B, you’ll never have enough - Arlo Winfrey
6. I may have the body of a week and feeble man, but...hey. where are you all going? King Betty I
7. Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. You can't change them so pick a good one to start. - . Marcia Aurelius

Battle of the Sexes. Corrupt a quote said by a man or woman and spin it to reflect the unique perspective of the opposite sex.

1. Men are from Mars. Its unknown where women come from, but they should all go back there.

2. It is generally recognised that women are better than men at languages, personal relations and multi-tasking, but less good at map-reading and spatial awareness. It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that women might be less good at sewing and cooking. -- Stephen Hawking
3. Do these pants make my bu...ah, who cares?
4. I don't cook! I don't clean! I don't do the laundry! What do you not do?!!
5. If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at car magazines, the tool aisle of a good hardware store, centerfolds, B&B, you’ll never have enough - Arlo Winfrey
6. I may have the body of a week and feeble man, but...hey. where are you all going? King Betty I
7. Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. You can't change them so pick a good one to start. - . Marcia Aurelius
8. Perhaps it may have been prudent to have acquired a bigger vessel before we set out on our aquatic adventure? - Police Chief Miss Jean Brody

Battle of the Sexes. Corrupt a quote said by a man or woman and spin it to reflect the unique perspective of the opposite sex.

1. Men are from Mars. Its unknown where women come from, but they should all go back there.

2. It is generally recognised that women are better than men at languages, personal relations and multi-tasking, but less good at map-reading and spatial awareness. It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that women might be less good at sewing and cooking. -- Stephen Hawking
3. Do these pants make my bu...ah, who cares?
4. I don't cook! I don't clean! I don't do the laundry! What do you not do?!!
5. If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at car magazines, the tool aisle of a good hardware store, centerfolds, B&B, you’ll never have enough - Arlo Winfrey
6. I may have the body of a week and feeble man, but...hey. where are you all going? King Betty I
7. Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. You can't change them so pick a good one to start. - . Marcia Aurelius
8. Perhaps it may have been prudent to have acquired a bigger vessel before we set out on our aquatic adventure? - Police Chief Miss Jean Brody
8. "Ask not what the Hollywood starlets can do for you, ask what you can do for your wife." -- Jackie Kennedy.
10. I can bring home the bacon. Fry it up in a pan. And eat it.

Battle of the Sexes. Corrupt a quote said by a man or woman and spin it to reflect the unique perspective of the opposite sex.

1. Men are from Mars. Its unknown where women come from, but they should all go back there.

2. It is generally recognised that women are better than men at languages, personal relations and multi-tasking, but less good at map-reading and spatial awareness. It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that women might be less good at sewing and cooking. -- Stephen Hawking
3. Do these pants make my bu...ah, who cares?
4. I don't cook! I don't clean! I don't do the laundry! What do you not do?!!
5. If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at car magazines, the tool aisle of a good hardware store, centerfolds, B&B, you’ll never have enough - Arlo Winfrey
6. I may have the body of a week and feeble man, but...hey. where are you all going? King Betty I
7. Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. You can't change them so pick a good one to start. - . Marcia Aurelius
8. Perhaps it may have been prudent to have acquired a bigger vessel before we set out on our aquatic adventure? - Police Chief Miss Jean Brody
9. "Ask not what the Hollywood starlets can do for you, ask what you can do for your wife." -- Jackie Kennedy.
10. I can bring home the bacon. Fry it up in a pan. And eat it.
11. I don't know who invented high heels, but all men owe him a lot.


that one was a bit too easy.

Battle of the Sexes. Corrupt a quote said by a man or woman and spin it to reflect the unique perspective of the opposite sex.

1. Men are from Mars. Its unknown where women come from, but they should all go back there.

2. It is generally recognised that women are better than men at languages, personal relations and multi-tasking, but less good at map-reading and spatial awareness. It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that women might be less good at sewing and cooking. -- Stephen Hawking
3. Do these pants make my bu...ah, who cares?
4. I don't cook! I don't clean! I don't do the laundry! What do you not do?!!
5. If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at car magazines, the tool aisle of a good hardware store, centerfolds, B&B, you’ll never have enough - Arlo Winfrey
6. I may have the body of a week and feeble man, but...hey. where are you all going? King Betty I
7. Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. You can't change them so pick a good one to start. - . Marcia Aurelius
8. Perhaps it may have been prudent to have acquired a bigger vessel before we set out on our aquatic adventure? - Police Chief Miss Jean Brody
9. "Ask not what the Hollywood starlets can do for you, ask what you can do for your wife." -- Jackie Kennedy.
10. I can bring home the bacon. Fry it up in a pan. And eat it.
11. I don't know who invented high heels, but all men owe him a lot.
12. Winston Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd put poison in your coffee!" Lady Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, there's no way your lazy rear end would make it anywhere near the kitchen, so I don't have to worry."

Battle of the Sexes. Corrupt a quote said by a man or woman and spin it to reflect the unique perspective of the opposite sex.

1. Men are from Mars. Its unknown where women come from, but they should all go back there.

2. It is generally recognised that women are better than men at languages, personal relations and multi-tasking, but less good at map-reading and spatial awareness. It is therefore not unreasonable to suppose that women might be less good at sewing and cooking. -- Stephen Hawking
3. Do these pants make my bu...ah, who cares?
4. I don't cook! I don't clean! I don't do the laundry! What do you not do?!!
5. If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at car magazines, the tool aisle of a good hardware store, centerfolds, B&B, you’ll never have enough - Arlo Winfrey
6. I may have the body of a week and feeble man, but...hey. where are you all going? King Betty I
7. Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. You can't change them so pick a good one to start. - . Marcia Aurelius
8. Perhaps it may have been prudent to have acquired a bigger vessel before we set out on our aquatic adventure? - Police Chief Miss Jean Brody
9. "Ask not what the Hollywood starlets can do for you, ask what you can do for your wife." -- Jackie Kennedy.
10. I can bring home the bacon. Fry it up in a pan. And eat it.
11. I don't know who invented high heels, but all men owe him a lot.
12. Winston Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd put poison in your coffee!" Lady Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, there's no way your lazy rear end would make it anywhere near the kitchen, so I don't have to worry."
13. Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that and with good reason. -- Groucho Marx