you pen guys dont have anything on me

miguel said:

What if you were on a deserted island and wanted to write a message in a bottle, and the ink runs out. what then?

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Find an oak tree, and some iron deposits.

rockviper said:

I'm surprised that the McGyver-ish use of the Bic to open a bike lock hasn't yet been discussed.

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I remember that not so many years ago, it was revealed that those heavy duty, impressive looking Kryptonite bike locks could be picked with a Bic pen if they were the type that used a cylindrical key. Running damage control, the company gave free replacements using a different type of key to anybody who sent in their old one. I got my replacement. It can probably still be picked, but you'd need a different sort of pen. Maybe a dip pen?