My Wife Called Me "The M Word"

As I've mentioned in another thread, my wife thinks I've gone a little crazy(er) with this whole new DE thing. She loves the outcome of my shaves and loves most of my aftershaves, but she still doesn't understand it.

This morning she witnessed my entire morning routine for the first time.

The following is the actual conversation that happened as I was rubbing on my Nivea post-shave balm.

Wife: You are a metrosexual.

Me: I'm not a metrosexual! I'm a RETROsexual.

Wife: (Laughing) Is that what your little friends on the varmint shaving website call it?

Me: Well...

Wife: Eric, you use my hair conditioner on your face as you shower for a "pre-shave". (Yes, she actually used air quotes.) Do you think your dad or grandpa used a "pre-shave"? Do you think your dad or grandpa even used the word "pre-shave"?

Me: No, but...

Wife: I just watched you put tonic and hair cream in your hair.

Me: Yes, because...

Wife: (Smiling) AND, I watched you add glycerin to your lather.

Me: Glycerin helps...

Wife: Then after you shaved, I watched you rub your face with an "alum block" (Again with the air quotes?!), followed by aftershave and balm.

Me: Yes, but...

Wife: And do I need to mention your various talcum powders?

Me: Well...

Wife: (Grinning) It's fine. It makes you happy and that makes me happy, but I thought that I should intervene and let you know that you are on your way to being a metrosexual, if you're not already there.

She may have a point. Who was I kidding? I knew my "RETROsexual" defense wouldn't stick.

Maybe she's right. Maybe I do put too much into this whole shaving thing. Maybe I just need to shower, shave and splash on Old Spice like my father before me and his father before him. Maybe I need to just go back to the basics.

Nah, that can't be the answer.

I bet if you just switched out your DE with a straight, that would shut her up.

between you and me, I think you're using way too many products and she has a point.

LMAO. Just enjoy and use as many products as you like. Heaven knows our economy could use a boost!

i used to add glycerin to my cream/soap before lathering in a bowl. now i no longer do that, if my soap or cream is not thick, moisturizing or sleek enough, i have bought the wrong product. a good soap should be able to give enough protection without adding another product to it. if i have irritation or razor burn after shaving, i blame it on my technique or my blades. nowadays i only use aftershave, because i want the smell. not that my skin needs it. my pre-shave is just shower and moist my face while i make the lather. ymmv

Wait!... No women should be allowed in the bathroom while shaving!

I try to stick to basics. I have learned a lot here, but it kinda cracks me up. My grandfathers and my father just lathered on the puck, shaved, splash of AS (maybe) and off you go. That is what I do, but YMMV. For those who want to get into the other stuff, more power to you.

That's what is cool about this, each shaver can do as much or as little as they want.

tonich said:

Wait!... No women should be allowed in the bathroom while shaving!

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and loose pets and unsupervised kids too

BUSTED........

I have to wait until SWMBO is out of the house to shave otherwise she will start in on the "When are you going to grow your beard back?" routine all over again.

AND.... I don't do anything special other than wash my face, shave, and splashing on some aftershave.

tonich said:

Wait!... No women should be allowed in the bathroom while shaving!

Click to expand...

She likes to watch me shave. She thinks it's kind of hot. I've been married for 20 years. I'll take what I can get.

Both of my grandfathers took time to dress and clean themselves up, and both were blue collar fellas, one a prison guard and the other ran a printing press for a large organization. They were what you used to call "Uniform Men", uniforms clean and pressed, shoes shined and ready to go. Both used some sort of product in their hair, both had a morning routine, were always clean shaven, and both thought their clothes should be modest but present well. They may have never used the word pre-shave, but they might have done it and called it something else. And I bet they might would have if given the option today. The just-got-out-bed luck is for boys, not men.

And, by the way, those talcum powders are life savers here in the hot South.

Love your wife...she sounds like a pistol !

As for my shave, I shower, face lather from the mug, make 2 or 3 passes, rinse & splash on an AS for the scent. For the occasional nick I'll use my styptic pencil. Talc is a must. Not so much for the shave, but summers in Mississippi are torture.

ETay said:

She likes to watch me shave. She thinks it's kind of hot. I've been married for 20 years. I'll take what I can get.

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Congrats! 21 years for me just last week. My wife says I have more "product" than her now. I don't think that's true, but I certainly have closed the gap considerably!

As I look back on my dad who has been gone these 14 years I think on his how he looked. He was part of that great generation that kept America, America during WWII. He was a crew chief on B25's. He worked as a miner and was underground fro 7:00 am until :4:30 five days a week. He would clean up there then come home for dinner right at 5:00 pm.

He was a volunteer fireman and was one of the most respected men in our small town in Upstate New York. All that being said he would shave every day with his Gillette and splash on Old Spice. He was always neat in his clothing choices, except for a ratty Notre Dame football sweatshirt he wore watching them on TV. He wore a suit to church each Sunday. During the war his uniforms were tailored and his hair cut was classic. He wore a hat back in the fifties like most men. He was a real Irish Catholic from New York city and would have been considered rather dapper for his time...

You are safe as long as you keep the shaving above the shoulders. That's what I tell myself anyways.

azwetshaver said:

You are safe as long as you keep the shaving above the shoulders. That's what I tell myself anyways.

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Keep telling yourself that

Great read!!!

My wife thinks i'm nuts as well. Before the DE, I could do the 3 S's in about 20 minutes door to door and set the alarm clock at 0530 an hit the snoose twice. Now i'm hitting the floor at 0500 and a solid 45 minutes in the bathroom, 30 minutes shaving and shave prep. Did i mention water everywhere?

My only real "sin" is aftershaves. I love using a different splash each day.
Apart from that, I make nothing special of my shaves.

I think it's just a sign of the current times.
Folks have gotten so used to people who look like they just crawled out from a bunker that anyone who doesn't must be over-doing it.


I don't care what anyone says, I do not want to look like this;