To Bill Brasky!!
Who is this Chuck Norris?
- Thread starter Tarzan
- Start date
Exactly, just because you "points fight", doesn't make you any less real. In fact, at that level of skill, knowledge and power, it makes you all the more incredible to be able to exert that much speed, power, precision in a CONTROLLED manner
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris' leg, and after 5 days of excruciating pain... the cobra finally died.
Chuck Norris's beard is in reality a BBS shave.
OldSaw
The wife's investment
I figured such a reply from you. If it wasn't so blasphemous it would be funny. I don't usually get on a soapbox about this, but you asked.
He is God incarnate.
He was without sin and crucified for our sins.
After being dead and entombed for 3 days arose to prove that he alone can conquer death.
Our entire calendar system is based on the year of his birth.
He walks on water
He raises the dead
He calms storms
He commands spirits
One day every knee will bow and declare Jesus as Lord.
Etc.
That's just a sampling. The New Testament says it much better than I am able.
Ah the lovely topic of religion. I thought Jesus was the son of G-d. But what do I know I'm Jewish 
Anyhow on this one I will agree to disagree and we can all return to the topic at hand.
I hear Chuck Norris's tears are the cure to cancer. Shame he has never cried.
Anyhow on this one I will agree to disagree and we can all return to the topic at hand.I hear Chuck Norris's tears are the cure to cancer. Shame he has never cried.
He's a legit bjj black belt under the Machado brothers...you don't advance in bjj without rolling live...not exactly mma rules, but definitely real.
I feel the same way generally about point fighters, but he's got some solid credentials.
Ah the lovely topic of religion. I thought Jesus was the son of G-d. But what do I know I'm Jewish
I hear Chuck Norris's tears are the cure to cancer. Shame he has never cried.
Not me, Aaron...I'm sending Ouch's home address to 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses...
Actually, Bruce Lee ...
Somebody must have beaten you to that, as I've already been visited 145,000 times. I find that answering the door wearing nothing but a snorkle and flippers minimizes the length of the ensuing conversation.
I'm compiling a list of the funniest people on Earth, in descending order. I have no idea how long the list will ultimately be, but I have you penned in for the final slot.
- Thread starter
- #54
Thanks all for the answers.
Of course I knew who Chuck Norris is, I just wanted to create a funny thread.
By the way, I made up some Chuck Norris facts.
When you burp, women say " What a jerk! "
When Chuck Norris burps, women say " What a man! "
Chuck Norris can kill two werewolves with one silvertip badger hair.
When Chuck Norris plays the magic flute, the mice deliver roundhouse kicks.
And last and my personal favourite...
When Chuck Norris farts, Ahhh - the whiff of Penhaligon's in the air!
Of course I knew who Chuck Norris is, I just wanted to create a funny thread.
By the way, I made up some Chuck Norris facts.
When you burp, women say " What a jerk! "
When Chuck Norris burps, women say " What a man! "
Chuck Norris can kill two werewolves with one silvertip badger hair.
When Chuck Norris plays the magic flute, the mice deliver roundhouse kicks.
And last and my personal favourite...
When Chuck Norris farts, Ahhh - the whiff of Penhaligon's in the air!
Somebody must have beaten you to that, as I've already been visited 145,000 times. I find that answering the door wearing nothing but a snorkle and flippers minimizes the length of the ensuing conversation.
I always tell them I'm happy with my current religion, but that I'll give them a call if I decide to shop around.
I always say they're just in time to help me sacrifice the goat.
Wrong on one point...when Chuck Norris burps, you get on the phone, call your friends in far-off places, and warn them of the impending change in weather.
So that was you we read about. Has the face healed yet? Don't you know that with the C&E Best Norris, you're supposed to lather with the razor and shave with the brush.
