Joint Home Ownership (and getting out)

**Trench** · 03-09-2008, 03:11 PM

My girlfriend is in a messy situation with her ex. Before he turned into an abusive, alcoholic lowlife, they had been planning a future together and jointly purchased a home.

Even though they are no longer together, he is still determined to make her life a living hell. He refuses to let the mortgage be re-written so she can either take full responsibility or give it all to him, he refuses to put the house up for sale so they can both be rid of it, and he refuses to pay any of the mortgage. So for the past year, she has been forced to either pay the mortgage even though she doesn't live there anymore, or have her credit completely destroyed.

I'm not at all familiar the law in these matters, but it seems there has to be something that could be done to clean up this situation. She claims there is nothing that can be done and she's just going to have to live with it, but I don't believe her. She is so tired of dealing with the situation that she just wants to give up and work two jobs to pay the mortgage as well as the rent for her new place rather than fight him in court.

Are there any legal experts in the house that could offer some advice?

**Mejnoon** · 03-09-2008, 03:16 PM

Wow thats a tough one. Litigation is really the only option...sorry. Do you think the threat of litigation might force his hand?

**Walravine** · 03-09-2008, 03:22 PM

I'm an attorney (there goes the neighborhood) and my advice is: get an attorney. There are a number of approaches to your girlfriend's problem but since I'm not familiar with Michigan law, all I can recommend--again--is to retain an attorney experienced in real estate law and domestic relations. I mention domestic relations because here in California unmarried couples can pursue contractual remedies that parallel those afforded to married couples who desire a dissolution and have property that must be divided. I assume Michigan handles this in the same manner.

**Trench** · 03-09-2008, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by Walravine

I'm an attorney (there goes the neighborhood) and my advice is: get an attorney. There are a number of approaches to your girlfriend's problem but since I'm not familiar with Michigan law, all I can recommend--again--is to retain an attorney experienced in real estate law and domestic relations. I mention domestic relations because here in California unmarried couples can pursue contractual remedies that parallel those afforded to married couples who desire a dissolution and have property that must be divided. I assume Michigan handles this in the same manner.

I've been trying to get her to talk to an attorney, but I think she believes she can't win so she doesn't want to go through the hassle. I know her parents were going to talk to an attorney at one point, but I don't know what happened with that.

**Mejnoon** · 03-09-2008, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by Trench

I've been trying to get her to talk to an attorney, but I think she believes she can't win so she doesn't want to go through the hassle. I know her parents were going to talk to an attorney at one point, but I don't know what happened with that.

Do you know if they hold title as joint tenants, or as tenants in common?

**Trench** · 03-09-2008, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by Mejnoon

Do you know if they hold title as joint tenants, or as tenants in common?

I was just reading about the difference between the two and was wondering the same thing.

**Doc4** · 03-09-2008, 04:04 PM

Well, if you GF is not interested in getting a lawyer, and fighting, and would rather just keep paying to keep things quiet, I guess that's her (bad) decision.

After all, it's her life.

But I certainly appreciate your, and her parents', interest in helping her. She should seek a lawyer's assistance, as suggested above. I don't know jack about the law of your particular state, but there must be some sort of legal resolution out there. Perhaps she can get some sort of court order giving her sole occupancy of the home and the power to sell it, and so forth.

Good luck!

**McTeague** · 03-09-2008, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by Walravine

I'm an attorney (there goes the neighborhood) and my advice is: get an attorney. There are a number of approaches to your girlfriend's problem but since I'm not familiar with Michigan law, all I can recommend--again--is to retain an attorney experienced in real estate law and domestic relations. I mention domestic relations because here in California unmarried couples can pursue contractual remedies that parallel those afforded to married couples who desire a dissolution and have property that must be divided. I assume Michigan handles this in the same manner.

+1 Get an attorney. An attorney will explain to her what her real options are, and whether she can have a court force a sale of the home, and if she can recoup the mortgage payments she's been making for him.

**Trench** · 03-09-2008, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by Doc4

Well, if you GF is not interested in getting a lawyer, and fighting, and would rather just keep paying to keep things quiet, I guess that's her (bad) decision.

After all, it's her life.

I agree. What I'm hoping for is to come across some information I could use to help convince her that it's worth her while to fight. The problem is this guy has her so beaten down, and has victimized her so much that she has come to accept it as a normal part of life rather than something she could do something about.

**Mejnoon** · 03-09-2008, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by Trench

I agree. What I'm hoping for is to come across some information I could use to help convince her that it's worth her while to fight. The problem is this guy has her so beaten down, and has victimized her so much that she has come to accept it as a normal part of life rather than something she could do something about.

Good luck man. Be there for her and she'll come around.

**Must Dash** · 03-09-2008, 04:59 PM

Trench... do you use a DE or a Straight?

Cheers

Jeremy

**Sabledog** · 03-09-2008, 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by Must Dash

Trench... do you use a DE or a Straight?

Cheers

Jeremy

If A), take up B) sooner than later.....

**Doc4** · 03-09-2008, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by Trench

I agree. What I'm hoping for is to come across some information I could use to help convince her that it's worth her while to fight. The problem is this guy has her so beaten down, and has victimized her so much that she has come to accept it as a normal part of life rather than something she could do something about.

I hear ya. You can't fight until there's a WILL to fight.

Who is living in the house now, her useless Ex? I cannot see how the legal system in a civilised country like the USA could allow this sort of thing to happen, so she should definitely give that system the chance to kick his sorry @$$ right on out of there and give her a fair shake.

What specific remedies are avaialble to her? Well, in all likelihood the only person who could give you a worthwhile answer would be a lawyer from the state where the house is located.

**iron maiden** · 03-09-2008, 06:49 PM

+1 on the attorney.....

....failing that, you could always resort to violence

But remember, you can take a horse to water, but you can't make him (or her) drink....if you get my drift. The decision will ultimately HAVE to be her own

VR6ofpain · 03-09-2008, 06:59 PM

Originally Posted by Trench

I've been trying to get her to talk to an attorney, but I think she believes she can't win so she doesn't want to go through the hassle. I know her parents were going to talk to an attorney at one point, but I don't know what happened with that.

She'll never know unless she tries.

**bluesbro1982** · 03-09-2008, 07:33 PM

+1 on the Attorney.

After 25 years with a cop father, you learn very quickly that our civil (and to an extent, criminal) justice system is made up of two types of people.

Those who can afford competent legal counsel, and those who can't. For the most part, those are the "winners" and "losers" respectively.

If you belong to the first category, take advantage of that status before the Ex forces you into the second category.

Michigan Bar Association pro bono referrals:

http://www.michbar.org/public_resources/legalaid.cfm

American Bar Association Pro-Bono Referrals:

http://www.abanet.org/legalservices/...gramlinks.html

Good luck.

**Trench** · 03-09-2008, 07:52 PM

Originally Posted by Must Dash

Trench... do you use a DE or a Straight?

Cheers

Jeremy

DE. Newly converted from a Fusion two months ago.

Originally Posted by Doc4

Who is living in the house now, her useless Ex?

He's living there. So she's paying the mortgage AND the rent for her new place. She's going to have to get a second job to keep up on payments for both, and she's already freaking out about us not ever being able to see each other once she starts pulling double duty.

**Roman414** · 03-09-2008, 11:06 PM

Not to sound cold-hearted, but she will be in that situation until she decides not to be. If she thinks consulting with a lawyer is more of a hassle than the hassle she is already in...what is there to say to her? She is getting something out of that relationship, on some level, or she would not cling to it.

**Must Dash** · 03-09-2008, 11:34 PM

Originally Posted by Trench

DE. Newly converted from a Fusion two months ago.

Like the man said, time to take up the Straight. That should scare the silly sod out of the place fast enough.

Cheers

Jeremy

**TstebinsB** · 03-10-2008, 12:26 AM

Originally Posted by Trench

My girlfriend is in a messy situation with her ex. Before he turned into an abusive, alcoholic lowlife, they had been planning a future together and jointly purchased a home.

Even though they are no longer together, he is still determined to make her life a living hell. He refuses to let the mortgage be re-written so she can either take full responsibility or give it all to him, he refuses to put the house up for sale so they can both be rid of it, and he refuses to pay any of the mortgage. So for the past year, she has been forced to either pay the mortgage even though she doesn't live there anymore, or have her credit completely destroyed.

I'm not at all familiar the law in these matters, but it seems there has to be something that could be done to clean up this situation. She claims there is nothing that can be done and she's just going to have to live with it, but I don't believe her. She is so tired of dealing with the situation that she just wants to give up and work two jobs to pay the mortgage as well as the rent for her new place rather than fight him in court.

Are there any legal experts in the house that could offer some advice?

Option 1: I think she should try to get a quitclaim deed. She'll be "quitting" any claim to the property and all the rights (and responsibilities) will go to the ex. It's used very often in divorces where one person keeps the house and other loses it. The sticking point here is that the grantors (current owners) have to sign the document. If the ex won't cooperate, go to option 2.

Option 2: There is the right of reimbursement for necessary costs, such as mortgage and property taxes. If she's paying for everything, she can sue him for the monies paid. When he sees he has to pay thousands of dollars for back taxes and mortgage payments, with interest, he might decide to act right. She can tell the judge she's willing to drop the suit if they sell or he accepts a quitclaim deed. However, I'm not familiar with Michigan law and they might not have such a provision.

Option 3: There's also the right of partition. Basically, you go to court to have the tenancy dissolved and the assets (in this case real property) distributed (partitioned) by the court and court-appointed officials. This is a time-consuming and costly approach and should be a last resort. However, your gf should still do it because 6-12 months of dealing with this in the court is better than paying a 30-yr ARM/fixed mortgage for a house she doesn't even enjoy.

Best wishes.