Ritual - Nature Calls, Redefining "Toilet Water"...

[joel]

You think your $#^& don't stank?

I've been putting off sharing this product for quite some time, as frankly I just didn't know how to go about it. Should I take the "serious" and "scientific" approach, or should I just let it all hang out and write something gut busting funny.

Initially - I decided on the funny route and was going to blame the 1989 Earthquake here in the S.F. Bay area, on my first experience with Indian Cuisine.

After much personal debate i've decided to take the middle road.

Sigh... I present to you - a #2 - toilet de-stankafier. No, this isn't febreeze grandpa - get with the times, this is a product designed to destroy the "stank" prior to the.... errrr.... uhhh..... stank process. This product is called "Nature Calls" by a company called Ritual - and i'll let the instructions tell the tale....


While I would hardly describe turd drops as "revolutionary" - believe it or not, this product is absolutely and amazingly effective. Had nothing to consume all day but corn beef hash, cabbage and beans? Taco Tuesday? All you can eat Indian curry? - Have no fear, the poop drops are here - and they've got your rear covered!

Alright - let's get down to "business." Drop a few (come on, be mature) drops of "product" into the ole porcelain goddess watery eye - and you immediately see the drops react with the water. Exactly what they're doing - I have no idea, but you see it immediately spread out across the water and have some sort of "reaction" with the water.... it's quite strange. You can smell the product - and it has an interesting citrus like scent to it, certainly not like an air freshener or something designed to mask the scent. Unfortunately it has the same scent as the rest of their product line (shaving creams, balms, etc) which personally I find repulsive as lathering your face up in the morning with the same scent as the turd drops isn't appealing - but alas, I digress.

Do your business, for the love of god wipe a few times, flush and wash your hands. Leave the bathroom - walk back in 5 seconds later, and there is no scent or clue of the ungodly demons you had just relentlessly battled and conquered.

Now.... being the scientist, and humanitarian that I am - I had to well... you know - make sure my olfactory system hadn't melted, and "test" the effectiveness on someone else who hadn't experienced "the fury." Let me just say (I am in sooo much trouble) calling over the Mrs. to "test" your experiment isn't a very smart idea.... what I do for you people.

So, after the very un-amused Mrs. figured out why I had called her over to the "depository" - after I repeatedly snickered "can you (HHHAHAHAHAH) smell anything?" she was pretty perturbed. Despite the severe tongue lashing I received - we were both pleased (and I am still alive) to report - no malodor was detected.

Ladies, dames, girls of all ages, rejoice in a much less "fragrant" relationship with your dapper fella and procure yourself a little bottle of this witches brew today.

Seriously though..... this $&^* works

[thirdeye]

I think I'm going to get some of this. Not for me of coarse..
but for my boy. I'll tell you what, that boy of mine stinks, I mean, something crawled inside and died......
Where can I find it Joel?

[joel]

Your "boy" can find it here.

[thirdeye]

Your "boy" can find it here. :lol

Thanks Joel, The order is going in first thing tomorrow...

Yes sir my boy, I have been in latreens that smelled better than this kid....Must be from his mothers side...

[TstebinsB]

Thanks Joel, The order is going in first thing tomorrow...

Yes sir my boy, I have been in latreens that smelled better than this kid....Must be from his mothers side...

Of course!

[LiquidStrike]

Thanks for the tip. This could make a great holiday gift! (I'm always on the lookout for the good ones!)

Out of curiosity - has anyone tried any of their other products? I didn't see any in the Reviews forum..

[joel]

Thanks for the tip. This could make a great holiday gift! (I'm always on the lookout for the good ones!)

Out of curiosity - has anyone tried any of their other products? I didn't see any in the Reviews forum..

Yep. I'm not wild about their shaving cream - but their aftershave balm is quite nice. Unfortunately - everything in their line smells the same (including the "Nature Calls" drops) so if you use the "drops" it'll gross you out to have the stuff on your face It doesn't smell bad - but the association is unforgettable.

[momo360]

I can't believe this! I got this stuff (not that exact brand) and have been using it for ages. Never thought of sharing it with the forum, though. Mine leaves a eucalyptus kinda scent. Very nice when used alongside Proraso!

[TstebinsB]

Seriously though, as an organic eater, I have quite the varied diet. I go from freshly churned wheatgrass juice to psyllium husks shakes, wild salmon to steamed kale. As a result, I've been known to introduce .. how should say.. unseasonable fetidness into the bathroom.. or bathroom area. This should come in quite handy.

[Must Dash]

I'll tell you what, that boy of mine stinks, I mean, something crawled inside and died......

Well, the instructions do state ' keep out of reach of children'. That should probably include your nose.

Cheers


Jeremy

[LiquidStrike]

Unfortunately - everything in their line smells the same (including the "Nature Calls" drops) so if you use the "drops" it'll gross you out to have the stuff on your face It doesn't smell bad - but the association is unforgettable.

Ahh - good to know. This excellent insight changes my purchase plans. I think I'll just stick to the stank-remover. Uhhh....for a friend.

[Evbo]

Alright. I have to try this stuff. HAVE to. And full disclosure: this is for ME. For ME! None of this namby-pamby "...for a friend" stuff. These are MY dumps we're talkin about and goddammit, I'm proud of 'em!

...and of course, over the years SWMBO has grown to uh, appreciate the depth of my, er, talents in this area. No doubt her admiration will increase TENFOLD if this crap (pardon the pun) works!

I thank you from my bottom ... uh, from the bottom of my heart for letting me know this product exists. Moreover, my wife thanks you from the bottom of her heart.

...that is, provided it works.

[falkon]

better keep one of these bad boys in your pocket during the next extended visit to anyone you don't feel like asking where they keep their air freshener!

[Baloosh]

W. T. F.

Most interesting review I've seen on any site. Didn't even know something like this existed. I gotta say, the review was written with the perfect balance of humor and info... well done!

[Citizen D]

I tell you what I smell...a challenge!

I'm not going to go into detail, but let's say after a night at my favourite Northern Indian Cuisine establishment, including a detour to my local purveyor of alcoholic beverages, I enter the privvy the next morning armed with a ouija board, a bible, and a wooden stake.

Let's just hope they ship to Australia

[ulven22]

I have just sent them an e-mail asking for shipping to Norway

[Sabledog]

Let's just hope they ship to Australia

They show a reseller in Auckland....

[michael m]

Well its different.........
Next time you have a party.......Hey who knows the possibilities .

[BUCCANEER]

Wow!!!! Talk about out of the ordinary... It's hard to say this but, sounds like this stuff could be the next handy "Mother's little helper". I wonder if they make an industrial strength version? You know ... for camp grounds or those nice little "privys" they use at fair grounds and outdoor concerts. Not to mention the occasional outhouse.

[Bubarubu]

I've seen less complimentary reviews of similar products, but I might have to give this one a try. They even have a retailer downtown...field trip this afternoon....