Nice PIF! Count me in.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator.
PIF - AOS Sandalwood Cream & ASB + T&H preshave oil
- Thread starter skleice
- Start date
I'm In! Here is one of my favorites and it couldn't be any better for B&B:
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Which do you want, son?
[/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Drum Roll Please........
[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Which do you want, son?
[/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] What did I tell you? said the barber. That kid never learns! [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT] did you take the quarters instead of
the dollar bill?
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The boy licked his cone and replied, Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over![/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT] did you take the quarters instead of
the dollar bill?
[/FONT]
Drum Roll Please........
[/FONT]
I've never tried any AOS or T&H products. If it's open to Canadians I'm in. If not, enjoy the bad jokes.
Teacher: Mike, go to the map and find South America.
Mike: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct.
Teacher: Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Mike!
Mrs. Claus looked up to the sky and said to Santa Claus, "Looks like rain dear!"
Teacher: Mike, go to the map and find South America.
Mike: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct.
Teacher: Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Mike!
Mrs. Claus looked up to the sky and said to Santa Claus, "Looks like rain dear!"
Nice PIF; I'M IN.
I am used to being with kids as I worked with them during summer at a camp. Lots of energy and fun.
Here is my addition
Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?
A: So they can fight knights!
I am used to being with kids as I worked with them during summer at a camp. Lots of energy and fun.
Here is my addition
Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?
A: So they can fight knights!
I'm in.
What did one snowman say to the other? "Do you smell carrots?"
What did one snowman say to the other? "Do you smell carrots?"
I'm in.
Here's one I remember hearing in elementary school:
The President of the United States, The Smartest man in the world, a Priest, and a Boy Scout are flying in an airplane when all of a sudden, the pilot says over the PA "The engine has died, and we're going to crash. There are only three parachutes back there so you guys are going to have to decide who gets to go"
So the President stands up and says "I'm the leader of the free world, I must have a parachute", and he grabs one and jumps out.
Then the Smartest man in the world stands up and says "I'm the smartest man in the world and very important", and he grabs one and jumps out the door.
Then the Priest looks at the Boy Scout and says: "My son, it seems as though God as decided it's my time to join him, YOU take the last parachute."
The Boy Scout looks at the Priest and says: "Oh no Father, there is a parachute for each of us. The smartest man in the world took my backpack."
Here's one I remember hearing in elementary school:
The President of the United States, The Smartest man in the world, a Priest, and a Boy Scout are flying in an airplane when all of a sudden, the pilot says over the PA "The engine has died, and we're going to crash. There are only three parachutes back there so you guys are going to have to decide who gets to go"
So the President stands up and says "I'm the leader of the free world, I must have a parachute", and he grabs one and jumps out.
Then the Smartest man in the world stands up and says "I'm the smartest man in the world and very important", and he grabs one and jumps out the door.
Then the Priest looks at the Boy Scout and says: "My son, it seems as though God as decided it's my time to join him, YOU take the last parachute."
The Boy Scout looks at the Priest and says: "Oh no Father, there is a parachute for each of us. The smartest man in the world took my backpack."
I'm in!
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.
How did the barber win the race?
- He knew a short cut
Child-friendly and shave related!
Great PIF, thanks for the opportunity
- He knew a short cut
Child-friendly and shave related!
Great PIF, thanks for the opportunity
I'm in!
Here's a picture of me with the band REM.
That's me in the corner.
That's me in the corner.
I think I missed it, it's after 8 EST, Oh well, If I didn't, "I'm in".
What do watermelons do in the summer?
They go to John Cougar's Melon Camp.
Or.....
I tried singing Country music once,
No One knew what Country I was from.
What do watermelons do in the summer?
They go to John Cougar's Melon Camp.
Or.....
I tried singing Country music once,
No One knew what Country I was from.
I'm also in if it's not too late.
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A little guy said that old people at weddings always poke him and say " you're next". So he started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
I also work with kids. The jokes are a ill science-y but they are pg
two atoms were walking down the street. The first atom goes to the second atom "hey, I think I lost an electron!" The second atom asks "are you sure?" The first atom replies "yup, I'm positive!"
how do you plan a space party? You PLANET!
last one is not pg, and more of a pickup line... Credit goes to one of my senior biology students: You're so hot, you denature my enzymes!
I'm in!
two atoms were walking down the street. The first atom goes to the second atom "hey, I think I lost an electron!" The second atom asks "are you sure?" The first atom replies "yup, I'm positive!"
how do you plan a space party? You PLANET!
last one is not pg, and more of a pickup line... Credit goes to one of my senior biology students: You're so hot, you denature my enzymes!
I'm in!
I'm in.
Q: What do you get when you cross pit-bull with a chicken?
A: Just a pit-bull.
Works best if told with other jokes of the same variety, such as:
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A: Elephino?
Q: What do you get when you cross pit-bull with a chicken?
A: Just a pit-bull.
Works best if told with other jokes of the same variety, such as:
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A: Elephino?
- Thread starter
- #36
We have a winner! Sorry, I'm late to end this thing. I ended up being out late last night and then worked all day today. I did however, try a bunch of the jokes out on the kids and these two went over very well. So, congrats sir!
Thanks to everybody for their submissions, I heard a lot of groaning from the students today
.Congrats to neilyasno, and thanks to skleice for the PIF
