It's a sad day in Veg-ville

**JoshuaNY** · 09-05-2012, 06:27 AM

So I have been a member for over a year. And in that year I have seen over 1,000 arguments about The Veg. Because of those disputes I have never bought a bottle and tried the stuff. For a year it has been eating away at me, could I be one of the chosen, is it possible? I am a loyal Arkolyte, is there a place at the Veg table for me?

Well I could stand it no longer and got a sample from Gary and it arrived yesterday. I couldn't wait to try it out to see if I was one of the chosen. I tore open the package and unscrewed the bottle. The anticipation was killing me, Veg Nirvana was within my sites. I poured some in my hands and applied liberally to my face and neck. I took a big sniff, trying to smell everything there was to smell. The Lilac hit me right away, I was getting excited because I wasn't getting any bad smells from it, could it be, am I chosen......

2 minutes later after it dried down I smelled like an old lady covered in cat pee.

I am not one of the Chosen few, oh what a sad day it was for this humble wet-shaver

**SmoovD** · 09-05-2012, 07:18 AM

Your family, friends and coworkers rejoice at the news.

**turtle** · 09-05-2012, 07:31 AM

Get an outside opinion.

I about died trying to get used to the VEG.... Used it every day for a full month....

The only reason I kept at it was the wife LOVES it....

Now it is a favorite of both of us.....

Oh the things we are forced to do for SWMBO

**ouch** · 09-05-2012, 07:34 AM

On the bright side, you're one of the normal.

**Phog Allen** · 09-05-2012, 12:04 PM

Nay brother, fear not. Therefore, come ye out from among them. And touch not the unclean thing. Seriously, this is truly either a hit or complete miss. On me all I could get from its scent was urinal puck. And before anyone asks, a new urinal puck.

Cheers, Todd

**rearviewmirror** · 09-05-2012, 12:40 PM

now you just need to stop using Arko!

**rushchairman** · 09-05-2012, 12:55 PM

i think i'd rather be chosen for I.B.S.

**JoshuaNY** · 09-05-2012, 01:10 PM

It is some foul smelling stuff. I was thinking of sprinkling it around my door to keep dogs and small children away.

Originally Posted by ouch

On the bright side, you're one of the normal.

Hey that's true, I got normality goin for me.

Originally Posted by rearviewmirror

now you just need to stop using Arko!

Never! When I die I want to them to bury me with a stick of Arko. It will also help keep flies away.

**Rorpen86** · 09-05-2012, 01:31 PM

I too tried the Veg for the first time today. I am not one of the chosen ones either. Every where I go it smells like I just walked into a steamy hot porta potty.

**sychodelix** · 09-05-2012, 06:04 PM

The Veg spurns you and searches for someone who can appreciate it's complexities. For it is not you to decide if you choose the Veg. The Veg will anoint its Chosen ones with it's lilac goodness and shun the "normal" urinal cake sniffers.

**kirk 988** · 09-05-2012, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by JoshuaNY

So I have been a member for over a year. And in that year I have seen over 1,000 arguments about The Veg. Because of those disputes I have never bought a bottle and tried the stuff. For a year it has been eating away at me, could I be one of the chosen, is it possible? I am a loyal Arkolyte, is there a place at the Veg table for me?

Well I could stand it no longer and got a sample from Gary and it arrived yesterday. I couldn't wait to try it out to see if I was one of the chosen. I tore open the package and unscrewed the bottle. The anticipation was killing me, Veg Nirvana was within my sites. I poured some in my hands and applied liberally to my face and neck. I took a big sniff, trying to smell everything there was to smell. The Lilac hit me right away, I was getting excited because I wasn't getting any bad smells from it, could it be, am I chosen......

2 minutes later after it dried down I smelled like an old lady covered in cat pee.

I am not one of the Chosen few, oh what a sad day it was for this humble wet-shaver

that made me laugh alot
im going to have to try the Veg one day
is it really that bad ?

**luvmysuper** · 09-05-2012, 06:50 PM

Originally Posted by kirk 988

that made me laugh alot
im going to have to try the Veg one day
is it really that bad ?

No. No it is not.

**michiganlover** · 09-05-2012, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by luvmysuper

No. No it is not.

Yes. Yes it is.

**luvmysuper** · 09-05-2012, 07:04 PM

YMMV

**PFP_Dad** · 09-05-2012, 07:06 PM

I fully understand, I wanted to be chosen, and then couldn't get it off fast enough.

**NexlevMM** · 09-05-2012, 07:25 PM

try it again in a few weeks, maybe it will grow on you. Not like a fungus, but in a friendly kinda way.

**cb91710** · 09-05-2012, 08:27 PM

This is great news... so many not chosen.

That's just that much more Veg on the shelves for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

**kirk 988** · 09-05-2012, 10:23 PM

how much does the Veg cost ?

**nycalling** · 09-05-2012, 10:49 PM

It costs you your soul. Or your girlfriend if she's not really, really understanding.

**Topgumby** · 09-05-2012, 11:02 PM

Originally Posted by kirk 988

how much does the Veg cost ?

In coin of the realm? Not much, but there is a hidden cost not measured by currency.

Rejection by The Veg is perilous. Many who are faced with Vegejection find themselves embittered, unable to pass up on an opportunity to mock the lucky Chosen.

Still others find themselves in Lilac Limbo, unable to master The Veg but unwilling to let go of the dream. This Pinaud Purgatory may be escaped by decanting to glass, but some are mired forever.

And what about the few, the happy few, the band of Vegetal Brothers who have been chosen? Some gifts are so great that they prove to be a burden. It isn't a path for the faint of heart.

Consider this carefully before you test yourself against the power of the Veg. The answer it gives knows not mercy or justice. Mere mortals strive, conquer or fail, but The Vega abides.