Summer Haiku Contest: Artisanal Soaps

**The Nid Hog** · 08-10-2012, 03:32 PM

I have at least half a dozen artisanal soaps and creams from our fine vendors here at B&B that aren't getting enough love. Great stuff--I just bought too much to keep them all in my rotation. Most of them have only been used once or twice. I'd be more than happy to move them from my den to yours so that they can get the attention that they deserve. I'll throw in some other goodies too.

All you have to do is write a haiku about shaving and post it here. The standard 5-7-5 syllables. You can enter more than one, but try to keep them in the same post. I'll have a look at the entries and pick a winner sometime next week.

Here's one to get the ball rolling:

Badger digs his hole
Razor claws scoop the wet clay
Careful with that fur!

**SliceOfLife** · 08-10-2012, 03:38 PM

Pleasant in itself
Yet a manner we must fit
May become a chore

**joamo** · 08-10-2012, 05:35 PM

manly ritual
taking blade to face each day
shave whiskers away

**texaninkc** · 08-10-2012, 06:22 PM

badgers are not bores
boars however really are
whip up some lather

**NexlevMM** · 08-10-2012, 06:28 PM

Badger soaks his tail
Scrub it all along my face
This must be heaven

**Vlad** · 08-10-2012, 06:52 PM

I love yummy soapy soaps
Lathered with my brush
Oh soapy goodness!

What a fun contest idea!

**InHotWater** · 08-10-2012, 06:57 PM

Mitchell's Wool Fat Soap
Why do I like it so much?
Lanolin maybe...

~Dave

**Mike H** · 08-10-2012, 06:57 PM

The Nid Hog Soap PIF
A wonderful gentelman
Please don't include me

**blackbarba** · 08-10-2012, 07:02 PM

[updated]

Wetshaving newbie
Nicks, bleeds, burns, Mantic's, reads, learns
Open Comb Brother

Soap, Brush, Razor, Blade
Acquisition Disorder
Den gorged, wallet bare

Boy studies Dad shave
Asks, "Why did you rub your face
With the badger's butt?"

Thanks for the contest, great idea.

**Seraphim** · 08-10-2012, 07:02 PM

Ripe bananas in a sock
Slick upon my face
I Colonial

**ZackP** · 08-10-2012, 07:09 PM

Here is my haiku. I am channeling a great deal of the members here, as I have not tried Williams.

"Ode to Williams"
"Why dost thou lather,
come to fruition so slow?"
Williams knows much pity.

One for Barbasol.

"Ode to Barbasol"
Ye ol' Barbasol,
millions of whiskers lathed,
countless shave cream pies.

To clarify, shave cream pies = those things you made in elementary school with shaving cream...remember?! :D

**gash** · 08-10-2012, 07:20 PM

Thick stench suffocates.
A citronella candle?
Oh, no! It's Williams!

Perfume of angels,
Overflowing litter box,
Married by the Veg

Sound of dripping blood
Alcohol singes my face
Kamisori rests

Stones bring poverty
Lapping film abhors mojo
Fusion ProGlide wins

(Thanks, but please don't include me.)

**Vlad** · 08-10-2012, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by Mike H

The Nid Hog Soap PIF
A wonderful gentelman
Please don't include me

**Wcoppage** · 08-10-2012, 08:12 PM

In morning's great fall
the brush, the blade, the blood meet.
Summer's heat rises.

**jkh** · 08-10-2012, 10:03 PM

Blade sings on leather
Brush, soap, water lather face
Whiskers melt away

Please don't include me, this was fun!

**mikeschu** · 08-10-2012, 10:04 PM

I seem to have hit upon a dark poet tonight - let me know if I out of line with any of these:

I tried a new blade
It was as sharp as a spoon
Won't buy those again

Newbie with a straight
Did not use the right angle
Now I need Band-Aids

Pinaud Bay Rum is
The best experience of
Some aftershave burn

Unwrapped Arko stick
It smells so clean and so fresh
Except to my wife

Twenty-five bucks buys
Five Gillette Fusion carts or
Three hundred Shark blades

(Okay - I'll stop now.)