Your most awkward moment

[Captain Pre-Capsize]

A long time ago I got a new boss who had been promoted from among our ranks but in a different division. He was a guy I had met and seen but didn’t know. So he picks me up at the hotel we drive to a restaurant and park. We both get out and had walked twenty feet when I notice he is limping.

“Hey Dave, what did you do - twist your ankle?”

Long pause.

“Actually I have an artificial leg.”

Another INTERMINABLE long pause.

“I was eighteen at the time - went down on my motorcycle - and .... come to think of it ... yes, now that your bring it up... I have been living longer without my leg than with it."

S-I-L-E-N-C-E ...

[jd_1138]

That's not too awkward. It was probably way more uncomfortable for you than it was for him. He's already living without the leg, so explaining what happened isn't a big deal.

[noahpictures]

I have many. In my defence I am not a morning person (don't get enough sleep). Here is one:

After getting to work in the morning, my girlfriend at that time called me over the phone and told me how much she loved and missed me....so I ended the conversation with, "Love you too baby." With a smile on my face I got up to get some coffee and ran into my co-worker David.

David: Good morning Noah!
Me: Good morning baby.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGGGGE!

[jd_1138]

I have many. In my defence I am not a morning person (don't get enough sleep). Here is one:

After getting to work in the morning, my girlfriend at that time called me over the phone and told me how much she loved and missed me....so I ended the conversation with, "Love you too baby." With a smile on my face I got up to get some coffee and ran into my co-worker David.

David: Good morning Noah!
Me: Good morning baby.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGGGGE!

Wasn't it popular at one point for a man to call another man "baby"? Like in an urban/ghetto slang sort of way. "Hey Baby, what's happenin'?"

[Prince]

Been way to many times I've been on the phone with some one and started to say "I love you" as we said goodbye.

So far, I haven't said it, but one of these days....

[Captain Pre-Capsize]

Try this one on. Years ago I was attending a semi-annual sales meeting. There were about 25 in a small meeting room all of us sitting in a horse shoe shaped set up. Most of us only knew each other in a very general way. Just as we had been dismissed for a short break I turned to a young lady in her mid-twenties whose name tag was different from the last sales meeting.

As everyone was rising from their chairs I said in a loud voice to her, “Say, congratulations!”

She paused and with a confused look said, “For what?”

Stating the obvious I said, “Hey, you’re married - you have a new name!"

With that the room went deathly silent. Somewhere a guy snickered.

She replied, “Oh, actually I am now divorced and I took back my maiden name."

That is when for the first time I looked at her ring finger, her bare ring finger...

And yes, later I got to listen to the guys reliving it over and over and over again.

[noahpictures]

Wasn't it popular at one point for a man to call another man "baby"? Like in an urban/ghetto slang sort of way. "Hey Baby, what's happenin'?"

Yep. It still is with some guys, especially during sporting events. It's how you say it.

[JellyFox]

My friend had a pretty similar thing happen. He works at an electronics store, and they're supposed to walk around asking people if they need a hand. On one occasion, he said it to a guy who turned around, revealing that he was missing an arm.

[Slash McCoy]

Wasn't it popular at one point for a man to call another man "baby"? Like in an urban/ghetto slang sort of way. "Hey Baby, what's happenin'?"

Some of the old guys still do, here in New Orleans.

[tinashubby]

Not my awkward silence, but I think this was funny! Begins at 9:25 minutes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOpDCkp1Zmw

[jd_1138]

Gender confusion is always awkward. I was at Wal-Mart buying a phone service card for my Straight Talk phone, and the young man ringing up in the electronics store was pretty effeminate -- long way hair, soft voice, wearing sort of like a blouse type shirt on. After he was done with me, a woman asked him: "Ma'am, can you please help me with the cameras? I don't know which one to buy." He didn't seem offended. He might actually be trying to be more female like.

[Krona Kruiser]

Gender confusion is always awkward. I was at Wal-Mart buying a phone service card for my Straight Talk phone, and the young man ringing up in the electronics store was pretty effeminate -- long way hair, soft voice, wearing sort of like a blouse type shirt on. After he was done with me, a woman asked him: "Ma'am, can you please help me with the cameras? I don't know which one to buy." He didn't seem offended. He might actually be trying to be more female like.

Had the same thing happen.....
I was substitute teaching at a middle school once and during one of the periods, I had a student who had long curly hair with neon colored bracelets on. I passed out some worksheets and told one of the students to pass the paper back to her. Everyone, just stopped for a second and starting laughing. The student I was referring to was male and laughed along with everyone else. I apologized to him and he said, "It's okay. I get it all the time."

[barrycv]

Try this one on. Years ago I was attending a semi-annual sales meeting. There were about 25 in a small meeting room all of us sitting in a horse shoe shaped set up. Most of us only knew each other in a very general way. Just as we had been dismissed for a short break I turned to a young lady in her mid-twenties whose name tag was different from the last sales meeting.

As everyone was rising from their chairs I said in a loud voice to her, “Say, congratulations!”

She paused and with a confused look said, “For what?”

Stating the obvious I said, “Hey, you’re married - you have a new name!"

With that the room went deathly silent. Somewhere a guy snickered.

She replied, “Oh, actually I am now divorced and I took back my maiden name."

That is when for the first time I looked at her ring finger, her bare ring finger...

And yes, later I got to listen to the guys reliving it over and over and over again.

Change 'divorced' to 'widowed', & then you have a scenario I witnessed. Now THAT'S awkward.

[legrandfromage]

I once congratulated a woman that had a big bulge on being pregnant; needless to say, it was girth, not a baby.

[Captain Pre-Capsize]

Here is one that happened to a pastor that I know.

The congregation was large enough that he didn’t always see everyone very often. So he saw a woman who clearly had a bulge going on. As the rest of us have learned he did not dare say anything unless he knew for sure a lady was expecting.

With the confidence that only comes from certain knowledge and with a happy face he approached her and said, “Congratulations on your big news!”

She looked startled and glancing down answered by saying, “Oh, I had my baby four months ago..."

[BlackBard]

I had a really awkward moment last year, but it was so embarrassing that I can't talk about it.

[Captain Pre-Capsize]

I had a really awkward moment last year, but it was so embarrassing that I can't talk about it.

Not a problem, then just WRITE about it.

Either that or tell us about what happened to a “friend” of yours, a very close friend.

[hig789]

This one didn't happen to me but i witnessed it:

I was at Walmart one day looking in the sporting goods aisle and there was a guy there that had a perm in his hair and was bent over looking at something on the bottom shelf and a Wally world employee came up and asked "can I help you find something maam". I had to walk away very quickly to keep from busting out laughing.

[HLS]

Not mine, but I witnessed it. When I was a kid we went to church with some regularity. In our specific religion, members often stood up to speak to the congregation. An elderly member stood up to share a story about a trip involving her family and their new boat. She said that her son had gotten a new POONTANG boat obviously meaning pontoon. You could have heard a pin drop.

Jim

[whiskerwacker]

In college I was in an amusement park with my buddy and his family. At one point in the day, we got turned around, and as we were trying to find our bearings I referred to the situation as the blind leading the blind... yeah, his mom is blind. Awkward!