The absolute ONLY aftershave ANYTHING I could find aside from straight up ethyl alcohol was this:
Which has a review on B&B:
I have also definitively confirmed that the drug stores, pharmacies, major grocery stores AND the mall don't carry DE blades, and nobody even knows what they are. This is not a translation issue, they're simply not sold in Oaxaca, and there isn't much of a shave culture in Southern Mexico in general (for the same reason that there isn't much of a shave culture amongst teenage boys).
Hopefully, this will do. I had a hard time justifying the purchase over ethyl alcohol, which was 9 pesos, and this, which was 350 pesos.