Rant: Dinged for $100

[jrp316]

Sometimes, life's lessons come with a price tag. I like to consider myself a semi decent type of guy; when I can, I try to help those in need. Here's (now) yesterday's scenario: I'm out of town today, and as I'm on my way into the craft store, I'm approached by a rather frazzled looking man asking me if I have a gas can with me. I don't carry anything like that with me, so he then asks me if I can spot him some $$$ (forgot his wallet, home's over an hour away) to get his truck off the side of the road and get some gas into it to get him home. Now, I've been out of town and had my car break down on me; I've felt that 'stranger in a strange land' feeling with seemingly no one to turn to. Thankfully, at that time, I didn't require another's assistance to get my car going again. Nonetheless, I know what that feeling is like. As such, I wanted to try to help; I went to the ATM in the store, withdrew $100 and passed it on to him for gas and a gas can. He took down my cell number and promised to call me up within two hours to arrange repayment.

Since I'm ranting about it, you can guess what the ultimate fate of this situation has become. The call never came, and most likely never will. I'll be very surprised if it does. I'm not upset about the money; I don't get upset about money as a general rule. They print more and more of the stuff every day. It's the dishonesty of it all that ruffles my feathers. I'd like to think I helped someone get home tonight, but I'm not so sure that the scenario presented to me was even the case. For all I know, he hopped in his truck the minute I'm out of sight and laughed his tail off at the rube he just dinged. Such as it is, the price of naiveté tonight: $100 and some of my faith in humanity.

As a side note, I had a pang of paranoia hit soon after I left the ATM and changed my PIN number. I don't think I got dinged that badly, but you never know nowadays.

[PFP_Dad]

This is unfortunate but common. Too many times the people begging on the sidewalk, asking for change, etcetera; make their living off of the generosity of others when they don't really need it. You still did the right thing as a stand up guy, even if you got hosed on the deal. They always get theirs eventually and to quote a signature on here "If you loan somebody $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it."

[DC_MPA]

Sick world, we can't trust anyone anymore. If it helps any I have a story of faith. We were in Las Vegas and the economy is sick out there. So much people are trying to find any way to make a buck on the street. A guy dressed up with a trained parrot (he was in his costume from the Treasure Island show he was laid off from). We admired the bird in passing, he let us take pictures and all I had was $100's at the moment as I just wound down the $100 bill we broke that morning from breakfast. I apologized explained he truth and he was crushed saying "yeah yeah buddy sure whatever" and walk off with that look of "another jerk busting my chops". I offered the honestly of going into the hotel we were at (Bellagio) and getting some change and he said he heard that song and dance before and walked off looking depressed.

I was being truthful the entire time. Proving our honesty it was slammed on the strip and damned if I didn't see him in passing three days later and yelled at my girlfriend who also seen him and stopped him in the crowd of hundreds until I could backtrack to them. On the spot I handed him a good tip to show my honesty and told him "I just wanted you to know that not everyone is dishonest" with a pat on the back. The outcome was neat, he gave me a firm handshake and thanks and a half hug to my girlfriend with a tear running down his face. I have no doubt that made his day and I hope he never forgets it.

[oc_in_fw]

You acted in good faith, and tried to help someone. Do not feel bad, leave the guilt to the one who did wrong

[DC_MPA]

a signature on here "If you loan somebody $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it."

That's Rudy Veys signature - I love it too. My cousins live in NYC and they have been involved with research that shows a huge underground business with "homeless" quoting it because they are only acting. Areas in NYC supply these false homeless people with $500-700 cash daily. Some even use it as a weekend business from their full time permanent jobs. They found a lot of areas where people could easily live a great life in a nice apartment just by bein professional beggars.

So sad.

That also reminds me of a Dave Letterman show where he has Bill Cosby. Bill was talking about a charity he was with and went around the audience and quickly ended $540 in cash. All based on merit that Cosby was telling the truth note this was before mobile Internet to do quick checks. Even Cosby was gasping about people quickly giving up $540 in cash.

[Matt555]

You did a very nice thing for someone. Unfortunately, as you noted, he may have conned you. Regardless, it shows the kind of person you are. I would not get into the habit of loaning $100 to strangers regularly.....but again, I am surprised in your humanity. Most people would not even spare $1 nowadays no matter what the reason. Hopefully your good karma will repay you a thousand times over for this in the future.

[litespeedone]

Life is all about perspective. You did something very nice and extremely generous. It reminded me of a commentary I read on whatwillmatter.com, which is a great website featuring commentaries by ethicist Michael Josephson. It is a parable but poses some interesting questions:

>>Jack was excited when he was given an unexpected bonus check of $1,000 from his employers. He was anxious to rush home to tell his family, but before he got to his car, a desperate-looking woman holding a baby who looked quite sick asked him for a few dollars. She said her child was dying and she showed him a letter from a hospital saying they could not give her the very expensive medicine he needed.
Jack looked at his check and then at the baby. Acting on impulse, he endorsed the check to the woman, saying, “Use this to do what you can for your baby.”
When he told his family what he’d done, his wife was silent but his teenage son ridiculed him.
Deflated, Jack said, “We don’t need the money. It felt like the right thing to do.”
A week later, his son waved a newspaper article in his face reporting that a woman with a baby was arrested for scamming people. “This is the lady you gave the money to, isn’t it?” he asked contemptuously.
“Yes,” Jack replied quietly and then he suddenly beamed with joy.
“What are you smiling about?” his son demanded. “She made a fool of you.”
“Yes, but there’s something much more important,” Jack said, “This means the baby’s not dying.”
His son declared, “You’re an even bigger fool than I thought.”
After a long pause, Jack’s wife embraced her husband lovingly. “There are two ways to look at this and I choose to be awfully proud to be married to a man with such a generous heart. You’re lucky to have him as a dad.”
Who was right – the son or the wife?

[cb91710]

This is unfortunate but common. Too many times the people begging on the sidewalk, asking for change, etcetera; make their living off of the generosity of others when they don't really need it. You still did the right thing as a stand up guy, even if you got hosed on the deal. They always get theirs eventually and to quote a signature on here "If you loan somebody $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it."

Nothing new.

A friend of mine started chatting with a woman that he always saw on a particular corner. Usually with her child in a stroller.
Her first comment was "What, are you writing a book?" He said that he actually was, and no real names or photos would be published.
Turns out, she had an Acura parked in the lot, and she made between $300 and $500 a day... more on government "paydays"... SSI, welfare, etc... surprisingly she would get a lot of $5 and $10 bills from people you would not expect to be the "giving" type.

This was back in the late '80s. The only thing that has changed is the stories and the push for larger amounts, where they used to be happy with a couple of bucks, and now they push for more, and they can get quite aggressive.
I had one guy confront me at a gas pump. I told him that I don't carry cash when I'm working. He said "There's an ATM inside"
I looked at him and told him to get the "F" away from me before I called the police.

[Kentos]

I believe we are all judged(by God, Karma, etc) by the intent of our actions.

[Smott]

Such as it is, the price of naiveté tonight: $100 and some of my faith in humanity.

Not a lot of comfort for you, perhaps, but your $100 bought me a little more faith in humanity. Thanks, Josh.

>>Jack was excited when he was given an unexpected bonus check of $1,000 from his employers. He was anxious to rush home to tell his family, but before he got to his car, a desperate-looking woman holding a baby who looked quite sick asked him for a few dollars. She said her child was dying and she showed him a letter from a hospital saying they could not give her the very expensive medicine he needed.
Jack looked at his check and then at the baby. Acting on impulse, he endorsed the check to the woman, saying, “Use this to do what you can for your baby.”
When he told his family what he’d done, his wife was silent but his teenage son ridiculed him.
Deflated, Jack said, “We don’t need the money. It felt like the right thing to do.”
A week later, his son waved a newspaper article in his face reporting that a woman with a baby was arrested for scamming people. “This is the lady you gave the money to, isn’t it?” he asked contemptuously.
“Yes,” Jack replied quietly and then he suddenly beamed with joy.
“What are you smiling about?” his son demanded. “She made a fool of you.”
“Yes, but there’s something much more important,” Jack said, “This means the baby’s not dying.”
His son declared, “You’re an even bigger fool than I thought.”
After a long pause, Jack’s wife embraced her husband lovingly. “There are two ways to look at this and I choose to be awfully proud to be married to a man with such a generous heart. You’re lucky to have him as a dad.”
Who was right – the son or the wife?

Thanks, litespeedone. This one's saved for my archives. I hope to be more like this guy tomorrow than I was today.

[stuart12dz]

As most con-artists would say, "he had "MARK" written across his forehead". Be thankful that it only cost you $100.

"It's a sin to allow a sucker to keep their money"!

[JoeCool]

Not a lot of comfort for you, perhaps, but your $100 bought me a little more faith in humanity. Thanks, Josh.

Wanted to say exactly this after reading through your experience. Sure there's a line to be drawn so as not to get taken advantage of, but the desire/ability/compassion to help another human being is always a step in the right direction. If we all lost that one by one, we'd all lose.

[scottish steve]

I spent 3 days in Paris and the only people who were not nauseatingly rude were the hotel receptionist, one taxi driver and a beggar who practically sank to the floor in gratitude when I gave him a few Euros.
If that happens to anyone again, I suggest you say "Sure, I'll lend you $100 if you show me your driver's license and allow me to take a short video with my phone, setting out a verbal contract"
If he's honest, this will be no problem. If he's not, take his picture anyway!

[rickboone1]

I will offer to drive them to their "disabled car". They always decline. Same with the guys wanting something to eat, or claim they'll work for food. Jump in the car, I've got plenty of work for you to do at home, then I'll give you a wonderful meal and plenty to take with you. So far...I'm batting zero. My friend and I did walk with a homeless man once and got him a sandwhich at a Subway. Point is, never give them the cash. If it's gas or food, take them to go get it. If you don't want someone in your car, go get it and bring it back. They'll likely be gone, though.

[Vickers]

From another perspective, that's a pebble in the Grand Canyon. The actions of others are not (personally) deterministic.

IOW: it's all small stuff.

[Debrushman]

The poor fellow may have stopped to help an overturned bus, full of orphans. After his herculean after to save the little ones, maybe the bus fell on top him and crushed him. Or maybe he got hit by a car. Or maybe he had a heart attack while fixing a flat for a stranger.
Or maybe he filled his crackpipe and said "thanks sucker"
You get days like that.

[Oblique Human]

They way you behaved in that difficult situation makes you a good, decent man in my books.

[bkfist]

The poor fellow may have stopped to help an overturned bus, full of orphans. After his herculean after to save the little ones, maybe the bus fell on top him and crushed him. Or maybe he got hit by a car. Or maybe he had a heart attack while fixing a flat for a stranger.

And to make your day even worse, if you hadn't given him the $100 he would have had to have waited for the next generous person to come along, wouldn't have been hit by the car, wouldn't have been fixing that flat tire, and the emergency squad would have gotten to the bus first, so the poor guy would have lived!

[Phog Allen]

It is a conondrum. As a person of Christian faith we believe in helping the needy. At the same time there is no verse in the Bible which reads "Be ye stupid, saith the Lord." I have found as a general rule that truly needy people do not demand anything. They are typically quite embarrassed at having to request help. Our church organised food bank does more good than $5 bills spread around most times. I have also used Rick 's tactic of offering food or work or whatever. I too bat zero at this effort. The weirdest one was the guy with the steretypical story. Wife and kids at the restaurant across the parking lot, father in-law coming from Tennessee with money to fix broken car, needed money for whatever, etc. He was just hitting me wrong and I could not quite figure it out. Then it dawned on me. It was the same little bugger who had accosted me in a Burger King parking lot down the street from this place a couple of years earlier. Same story, similar lines. I promptly chased him off. Usualy your gut won 't lie to you.

Cheers, Todd

[BigBull]

You acted in good faith, and tried to help someone. Do not feel bad, leave the guilt to the one who did wrong

+1 - Obviously when you get to the "Gates" your going to be let in. The other guy? Jury is still out.