Sometimes you're the blade and sometimes you're the whisker...

[BrookR1]

Woke up this morning and putzed around; fed the cat, took care of the fish, surfed the net, and cleaned the bird cages. My Sun Conure (small parrot) wasn't having as a relaxed morning as I was. He can see out onto the sidewalk in front of our place and he's always startled by people walking their dogs. It puts him on edge when he sees small animals or children outside of our place.

Then he heard my wife get up and he hates her. He nervously waited for her to barge into the bird room. She didn't, but he was still on the lookout. My normal routine involves letting Stanley shower with me. He loves showers, it calms him down. This morning, though, he didn't get a shower. So I placed him on the paper towel rack next to the mirror in the bathroom so he could hang out with me while I shave. He's pretty attentive and curious about what I do, especially when I'm whipping up the lather. Well, since he was so strung out, he kept nervously fluttering.

I let the little guy get to me. I should have just put him away, but I didn't. By this time, I'm starting to feel a little rushed. Completely out of my zone. Wrong day to pick the Joris. On a good or normal day, I can handle it without problems, but when I'm distracted or stressed, I tend to hurry things. The first two passes went OK. They weren't exactly smooth and comfortable. I could feel a little skin being scraped off, but no big deal. I wasn't bleeding or anything.

Third pass ATG and Stanley, while I'm in the middle of clearing my chin, lets out a huge SQUAAAAKKK!. I jumped a little and then felt that familiar sting. A few seconds later, blood. I put Stanley away and finished my shave. I quickly finished the rest of my face with WTG passes and stopped before injuring myself any more. The gash in my chin was about an inch long. I had to peel away the flapping skin. The cold water felt nice, but the alum block killed me. When the alum block failed to stop the bleeding, I used the styptic pencil. Never before had I felt that much pain. The balm even stung.

There are a bunch of morals to this story, but I'm not sure what they are. I'm dense that way...because I will probably have Stanley with me tomorrow on the same perch. I might use a milder razor this time around, only until my cut heals.

[ODJ]

moral of the story is don't shave with a bird in your bathroom.

[KeithTheSnake]

moral of the story is don't shave with a bird in your bathroom.

That makes perfect sense to me.

[cluelessdude]

lol he hates your wife?

[venton]

Brilliant short story, I loved it. Sorry about your chin.

[engelmann]

Now that my RAD is quenched for the time being, I've been looking at accessories. I think a bird named Stanley who likes to shower and watch me shave may just be my next move....

[BrookR1]

Can't stand her. Stanley has been with me for about 10 years. I've only known my wife for 5 years. He's bonded to me, so he sees her as a threat. He's mad jealous of her because I spend time with her. Whenever she comes up to Stanley's cage, he puts on a huge display...shakes his mirror, bangs his bells, lunges at her, and growls. Some of the worst bites I've gotten is when my wife unexpectedly came into the bird room while Stanley was on me. He's like an autistic kid on meth. My wife thinks it's funny and sometimes verbally taunts him (nothing physical). That drives him insane.

lol he hates your wife?

[Slipperyjoe]

That is one great story and you tell well my friend.. bird in the bathroom.. much lol.. just be thankful it was the joris and not the strait razor ...

[dfollett_98]

BrookR1:

Just when you think you have heard everything, something new comes up. Great story. I hope you heal quickly and enjoy your shaves.

Don

PS Please give Stanley a scratch on the head for us.

[ODJ]

Can't stand her. Stanley has been with me for about 10 years. I've only known my wife for 5 years. He's bonded to me, so he sees her as a threat. He's mad jealous of her because I spend time with her. Whenever she comes up to Stanley's cage, he puts on a huge display...shakes his mirror, bangs his bells, lunges at her, and growls. Some of the worst bites I've gotten is when my wife unexpectedly came into the bird room while Stanley was on me. He's like an autistic kid on meth. My wife thinks it's funny and sometimes verbally taunts him (nothing physical). That drives him insane.

lesson learned...don't shave with an autistic kid on meth in your bathroom.

[Vivasanti]

Distractions!

:D

[Viseguy]

Cute story, very cute picture!

[rxonmymind]

Pretty bird.....Oh & sorry about your chin!

[Slash McCoy]

Let's hope he was not amused by your reaction to his squawk. He might make a habit of it! Birds love getting a reaction, preferably a big one, out of their humans.

[mharris127]

I haven't ever shaved with a parrot in the bathroom (my parents had a large parrot when I was growing up). However, he liked to sit on my shoulder when I made lunch. My parents thought I was crazy (someone told them not to let the parrot be higher up on someone -- it supposedly made the bird think he was dominant) but he never did anything to anyone when he was on my shoulder other than talk.

[Mendel]

Does your wife hate Stanley the bird?

[Dusty1]

lesson learned...don't shave with an autistic kid on meth in your bathroom.

That's pretty much exactly what I would compare a parrot to, an autistic kid (maybe not on meth). They can be very high maintaince. Honestly though, how can you NOT be attached and show favorism to someone who showers with you every morning? Sorry about the cut, I winced when you described putting the styptic pencil on it.

[CharlieFoxtrot]

This might be one of the greatest stories ever. I was in a Mexican stand off with a off duty Afghan cop in downtown Kabaul at 0200 hrs with a fat girl stuck on top of me (whom I couldn't budge) and some Navy guy that was flaking out. I thought that was funny and I seriously thought I'd seen it and heard it all. Sorry about your chin but thanks for the laugh.

[hsamuels]

Now that's an important lesson! Thank you for taking one on the chin for the rest of us.

[Mike'sWorld]

Sure. Blame the poor innocent bird.
Seriously though, I enjoyed the story. Thanks for posting. We had a parrot for years so I can totally relate.
Autistic kid on meth. Pahahaha.