Becoming a better husband

This thread is targeted for the married guys (or those in a serious relationship). In your opinion, what can you do this year to become a better husband and further nurture the relationship with your wife? Conversely , what is one quality that does serve you well in your relationship.

I've been married 22 years, no kids. The quality that I'm most proud of is my fun sense of humor,; I can make wife laugh. I guess the area I need to improve upon is to force myself, within my busy schedule, to have "date night" more often; to seek more experiences together.

It's not so much a quality, but an attitude..."don't take things too seriously. Life's too short and can abruptly end."

I don't have a clue. The wife and I have been together since 1976 and got married after living together for 10 years.

Not sure anything can be changed/improved... Maybe I should ask her... NO... better leave well enough alone

Turtle hit my answer on the nose, limit my questions I ask to a minimum and answer more questions with "I don't care" and "whatever". I've learned it's easier to pay for a unnecessary purchase than to disagree.

As you get older and uglier, the fear that no one else will want you keeps you together. We have five kids, I couldn't afford the child support, and no other man would want a woman with five kids. It's kept us together for almost 20 years!

We focus on not taking each other for granted. I recommend "Happier" written by Harvard Psychology Professor Ben Shahar; the book is about happiness, which the author calls the "ultimate currency." It also includes great information about relationships.

I've found a key component is knowing how to find that balance of spending time together, time with the family collective, and time apart. We've been married 20 years, have a 15 y/o son and a 13 y/o daughter, dog, mortgage, etc., etc., etc....

We spend a tremendous amount of time, energy, and capital on our kids as most couples in similar circumstances do. That's my most important role as a father and husband at the moment. My biggest fear is seeing my kids on Jerry Springer in some wheels-off show about how they ended up in some crazy situation because "daddy didn't spend enough time with me". Having said that, we make sure to go out by ourselves at least once per week (even if it's just to a bookstore, bar, or coffee house), and also to have alone time apart from the spouse and family. I enjoy going to the shooting range or just on long walks with my dog in the woods or fields. She'll go out and do her thing. It's much easier now that the kids are older and we don't have to have one of us at home with them all the time any more.

The bottom line is to NEVER take your wife for granted, and no matter how crazy the world gets sometimes, take the time to appreciate the fact that someone loves you and is committed to you. Work to keep that dynamic in place.

Cheers!

I found really listening to her describe her day can go a long way.

Remember that love is a choice. This is simply one of the most important things to keep in mind. I find that serving my wife in any capacity is a joyous experience. Ask your wife how you can make her day easier. And when she tells you, listen to her. Have intellectually stimulating conversations with her along with physical touch. I find that marriage is extremely easy if you are not selfish. Put her above yourself, and the reward will be great. I think some people forget that they made a lifelong commitment to another person and not to themselves. Your wife shouldn't just be a roommate.

Never forget the holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's day, etc. Even if your wife says she doesn't want you to get her anything a little something to say that you are thinking about her will go a long way. If she actually has something in particular that she would like, do your best to get it.

What jmallen5 said and understanding what inertia is......

The key to a great marriage is putting Christ at the head of your marriage. In our marriage Christ, is at the head of our marriage. We use Godly principles to guide our marriage.
Our marriage is based on our faith, our trust for each. This my second marriage we just celebrated our 6th anniversary.

We are best friends, we value each other, we communicate with each other. Our decisions are Godly directed and our mutual agreement. I have never experience the level of love I have now.

French toast, coffee, juice and a couple of choice accompaniments.

Every Sunday morning. Cooked by me. Served in bed.

The French toast may change (omellette, hotcakes, etc) but the intent doesn't.

I'm not a chef but it's the one tangible thank you I can do for her.

Married 18 years. Met in high school.

1) Predict what she wants you to do.
2) Do what she wants before being asked.
3) Repeat for success..

Never buy flowers for apologies or holidays. Buy them because you missed her, or whatever - but be specific. I bought my wife flowers one day because her eye shadow turned me on. It's still something that gets her. I try and keep the romance alive and I agree, I made French Toast this morning.

im sure some of the people here r glad or hoping their wives dont see lol. breakfast in bed every sunday.... thats dedication!

i try to be very understanding with things and let things go when i know its a waste of time. we r still just under 3 years of marriage but doing great. as long as i dont get myself in trouble we r all good lol.

I listen to her go on and on and on about her day at work and the people she deals with at work, and I don't try to fix everything for her or give her advice on how to deal with people.

An interesting topic, one I've been been thinking about lately with the passing of my sister-in-law and the addition of my niece to our household just before Christmas. The things that seem important to me now:

1. Don't take your wife for granted
2. Try and listen to her recount her day
3. Pitch in and help out with the parenting and housework
4. Still somehow make time for you and the wife to connect one-on-one without the kids.

Easier said than done, sometimes.

Put her first. Make sure she knows every day that she's the most important person in your life. Make her laugh every day. Listen every day. Hug and kiss every day, even if it's only to say hello and goodbye, good morning and good night. Tell her (and more importantly show her) you love her.

Easy.