Homeschooling

[Slowhand]

I'm looking for resources for home school information...studies/curricula/costs/social groups/athletics/etc.

Here in the Bible belt, a lot of people home school their kids for religious reasons. While I like the idea of having the say in what my kids learn about creation VS evolution, this is not the reason I'm interested in the option.

Does/did anyone here home school their kids? Do you plan to do it through elementary, middle, or high? General thoughts?

[hillbilly]

We do(my wife) I help my 6yr old color. I will p.m you.

[Mr5x5]

We did my son for 2nd grade. Very advanced reader but struggles with math. Gave us time to concentrate where he needed help.

[DamnFineBob]

My 1st suggestion would be to send your kid to school, but stay involved in his learning, and supplement his school lessons where necessary... but if your determined to home school, I'd advise:

If possible, try to use the same textbooks and curricula as the local school district. By doing so, you're preserving the option to re-enroll your child without being penalized for his/her not being taught the prerequisites for whichever grade he should be in. Of course, 75% of most textbook material is left unused in a school setting, and you can still improve on his/her education using the same materials as the school, just by using the whole thing instead of 2 - 3 pages out of each chapter.

Steer clear of textbooks sourced from companies that specialize is religious homeschooling. The bias present in some of these texts takes them out of the realm of education and to the edge of brainwashing. For instance, most people would agree that the American Revolution took place, in part, to establish a greater degree of freedom and liberty, but a textbook (which I forgot the name of) produced by the largest Christian homeschooling publisher defines freedom as "fealty to God's will" and liberty as "the ability to practice a relationship with Jesus." Such a book is fine if your goal is to produce a young adult who struggles to understand the world around them after being religiously hyper-endoctrinated, but useless if you want your kids to actually understand history, advance to college, and grow and learn outside of the home.

Don't avoid controversial subjects. I know every parent wants their kid to stay innocent forever, but you're doing a disservice to them by keeping them in the dark about things that you're not comfortable talking about. Instead, share the controversial things with him/her, and tell him what your thoughts on these issues are, and why. Eventually this kid will be an adult, and he/she will need to deal with the girttier, controversial parts of life whether you prepared them or not.

Socialization is very important. You should see if there is a homeschooling support group in your area. Often they will have opportunities for your kid to meet and spend time with other who are also homeschooled. Bear in mind that most likely your child will miss out on things a school could offer, such as Key Club, Junior ROTC, football, baseball, basketball, soccer, A/V club, student newspapers, yearbook, debate club, SADD, and numerous other socialization and public service opportunities.

I've been through 13 years of religious (Catholic) schooling, and also knew people who were homeschooled their entire childhood. Being "isolated," "sheltered," and "kept innocent longer" may seem like good ideas to parents, but they can really bite a student on the arse when he becomes an adult and is thrust into the real world. My tiny Catholic school left me horribly unprepared for a job, college, or even a non-Catholic social setting. Despite all the BS I was taught about non-Catholic students being sent to public school by parents who didn't love them, only to be abused by other students and reduced to a number by uncaring teachers, the average public school student was happy, loved, and prepared for whatever came after high school... unlike myself.

About the only people less prepared for the outside world were the homeschooled kids I knew. They were probably in the top percentile of kids from what their parents' taught them, but they went to college with the social skills and wits of 8 year olds. The two I've talked to since are doing OK, though. One got married at 19, started having kids, and never left the house again, and the other really likes guns.

[Mr5x5]

My 1st suggestion...

Sorry your education sucked so bad. Many others that have been through various forms of non-public education are doing OK and don't carry the bitterness that you do.

[DamnFineBob]

Sorry your education sucked so bad. Many others that have been through various forms of non-public education are doing OK and don't carry the bitterness that you do.

Yeah, maybe my last two paragraphs were way over the top... but I did try to give some advice from my personal observations. Public school isn't necessarily a bad thing, and many throughout the country are excellent. Likewise, some private schools stink to high Heaven. I hope the OP will weigh his options carefully.

[ouch]

That's the type of exchange that usually turns ugly- refreshing to see the way you two handled it.

[Slowhand]

Yeah, maybe my last two paragraphs were way over the top... but I did try to give some advice from my personal observations. Public school isn't necessarily a bad thing, and many throughout the country are excellent. Likewise, some private schools stink to high Heaven. I hope the OP will weigh his options carefully.

we've visited at least 8 different schools (3 private, 5 public) (I think). 2 of the private schools we're very happy with, 1 was a joke. Of course, the drawback to private school is the tuition commitment. In this economy, the last thing we'd want to happen is a layoff or something and not be able to afford private school. Plus, what we'd pay could be saved and have their colleges fully funded.

there are two REALLY exceptional public schools in play, but the one we're districted for is abysmal.

we firmly believe that education is ultimately our job, and our kids will be successful no matter where we choose to send them because we'll be involved and we'll have the final say on what they learn. but, we also feel giving them the best possible environment is very important as well.

[Hammertime1]

Good luck with your endeavor. It is a big decision with tough choices. Sociliazation is key. I have seen a lot of kids who were home schooled and had serious issues being around other kids, people and just not understanding how to interact in these situations. In the opposite realm, I know a parent who is mad because a teacher commented their child was having serious sociliazation issues. They wanted to make sure they got the child the appropriate help in dealing with this before it became a problem. Of course now they want to pull the kid from that school because how dare the teacher. It can happen in school too in school etc for various reasons. my experience was seeing the home schooled kid who had these issues. I also know there are lots who do not and did not have these issue because parents took appropriate measures for thier children while home schooling.
Lastely, I saw where home schooled kids were taken advantage of by other kids or got themselves in serious trouble thinking thy were making friends, doing what these kids who were obviously not their friends in the first place wanted. Peer pressure is a dangerous thing and there are some really bad kids out in this world. I have seen 11yr olds addicted to heroin. It was other kids looking to make money living the gangsta lifestyle that got them hooked. I honestly believe a big part of these mistakes were the kids were too sheltered and not properly prepared for these incidents.
As a parent it is our job to protect our children, make sure they get a good education and prepare them for life. I think if you realize there are certain things that need to be covered versus sheltering, not just a one time talk about how to deal with certain situations etc you will be way ahead of the game. I know other families who did this and there kids were highly motivated, dedicated and like a freight train moving to thier goals in life. It was very impressive to see.

[DamnFineBob]

we've visited at least 8 different schools (3 private, 5 public) (I think). 2 of the private schools we're very happy with, 1 was a joke. Of course, the drawback to private school is the tuition commitment. In this economy, the last thing we'd want to happen is a layoff or something and not be able to afford private school. Plus, what we'd pay could be saved and have their colleges fully funded.

there are two REALLY exceptional public schools in play, but the one we're districted for is abysmal.

we firmly believe that education is ultimately our job, and our kids will be successful no matter where we choose to send them because we'll be involved and we'll have the final say on what they learn. but, we also feel giving them the best possible environment is very important as well.

Ah, you've definately done your homework, so to speak. Good luck to you in whatever you choose.

[bookwormwendy]

We home school. Let me start by saying, I have a deep respect for teachers and there are many amazing ones out there. You want respect for teachers, try it for a while. We started about seven years ago when our youngest was in K and our oldest in 2nd. They are now in 7th and 9th and believe me, we are still learning as we go, however, it has been an amazing and wonderful journey together.

Our reasons for home schooling were not primarily religious. Yes, I wish to pass my faith and values to my children and home schooling certainly allows for that. But more importantly, it allows your young people to develop both academically and personally at their own rate. My son is brilliant at math but needs more work in grammar. I can let him speed forward in one and take the time to really absorb in the other. On a personal level my children have followed their own interest and ideas into some very creative and interesting avenues without a lot of peer pressure to adhere to the norm and popular. They also have an amazing global view and understanding, much more than I did at their ages.
I think what we have most enjoyed is learning as a family. It goes soooooo far beyond books. We use REAL boos every chance we get. A textbook no matter how well written is a textbook and written for someone's agenda. We also go to museums every chance we get. We even sometimes plan vacations around places with great museums and learning opportunities. I don't just mean the museums you expect either. Yes, we've done the science museums, the living reenactments and historic properties, we love those, but we've also been to Graceland, Sun Studios and Rock and Soul. My children developed an interest in rockabilly and the music of the sixties and seventies, this led to an interest in the perspective decades which lead to a boatload of reading. I am willing to bet my children know much more about Kennedy, MLK, Nixon and Vietnam than I do because an interest lead them there. I think that is the real beauty of home schooling. It really is more of a lifestyle than something you merely DO. Surround them with tools for learning, more than hand feeding them information and you will, show them how to use those tools, how to use the internet, the library, an encyclopedia, a dictionary and a table of contents.

DamnFineBob may bear a few scars, as do I, mine from the public school, but he does make a point, it is easy to become insular as a home schooler if you do not mind yourself. However, if religion isn't your primary goal then you are less likely to do so. My children are no longer children, they are young adults and we don't shy away from deep, controversial topics, in fact, I like to challenge them to think about them. I give them both the perspective I hold and the opposing or differing school of thought. Critical thinking skills are vital and by and large aren't taught in the public school system these days but our kids need those skills. They need to be able to look at hard topics and thoughts, wade through the ideas and opinions and think for themselves without peer dependencies or guidance from the media. Does this mean your children will always agree with you? No, of course not, they are developing into their own people with their own ideas and that should make you proud. I always say that of all my children have learned in our journey, I am most proud of what I didn't teach them. Why? Because this means they know how to ferret out information, they know how to think for themselves and they took the initiative.

You will buy curriculum, you will then throw some of it away, don't be afraid to. Finding it can be the hard part. If you want it all religion based it can be easy to find, however, this is not always the best option. E-Bay and Amazon can make it affordable to buy used so that you can preview it. If you don't like it, you can always resale, SUPPLEMENT- no curriculum covers it all and most as I previously stated carry an agenda, use other resources, we love our netflix and get a great many documentaries through it. Whatever else you do or don't do, ENJOY it. Enjoy getting to be with your kids, enjoy watching them learn and become their own people, enjoy the bond you are creating because you are. I have a thirteen year old and fifteen year old who rarely talk back, not because I am a superior parent but because we have a relationship, a close relationship based on respect. Not just theirs for our position as their parents, that is important, but for them, for the people they are and are becoming. Will you cover it all? NO- no one really can. I am constantly amazed by what I DIDN'T learn in school but you certainly can cover a lot, not all of it just the three R's. You can teach them real world skills and how adults deal with and address business and conflict and issues. That isn't to say that you don't want them around others their age. There are home school support groups and field trip buddies and even 4-H for home schoolers scattered all across this country. Feel free to PM me, I hope I haven't talked your ear off and hope it goes well for you. Best of luck.

[Go West Young Man]

Wendy -


Excellent comments, thanks! I wonder how you've handled the socialization issue? Personal opinion only, but I feel that learning to negotiate social situations and work with others of your own age is as important to a kid's development as the book learning. Did your kids have any problems on that end?

[bookwormwendy]

Wendy -


Excellent comments, thanks! I wonder how you've handled the socialization issue? Personal opinion only, but I feel that learning to negotiate social situations and work with others of your own age is as important to a kid's development as the book learning. Did your kids have any problems on that end?

We are part of more than one home school support group so they do get socialization, add to that our friends and family who home school and they are hardly isolated. However, I must point out something here, out side of school, when and where in your life have you ever been a part of a social group where everyone was your age? Certainly, get them involved in sports, support groups and opportunities to be with peers and to form friendships, it matters, but also appreciate the broader scope that home schooling allows. It gives them the chance to interact with people of all ages, something that is more true to life than being in the pressure cooker of peer dependency that being in a group of only ones immediate peers places them in. So, yes, give them an opportunity for peer relationships but recognize that YOU and other adults are more able to set the example they need than the pack is.
My children are very social and love talking to people, not only their peers, but of all ages. I like that they don't view adults as stupid and out of touch and don't view their younger family members as kids and therefore as not mattering. They are comfortable with most people and I value that.

Okay, I hope that this doesn't offend anyone but it is a popular chuckle among home schoolers because most of us have had this conversation at least once in the course of our experience. Hope everyone takes it in the spirit in which I intended.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjOXT_KSFhA

[GFlanagan3]

We, too homeschool. I can give you all the reasons in the world to, but in the end it has to be your choice. I do know on the standardized tests here in NC, both kids perform consistently above grade level. I know in their various activities outside the home their manners and deportment are praised (by others not us), and I know that every day is an opportunity to learn and they can come to us with any question and we will answer. As for "socialization" it surely seems from my own public school training that one is expected to be quiet far more than one is allowed to socialize.I mean no disrespect but I'd sure rather have them "civilized" (well educated and ladies and gentlemen) than "socialized".

[Mojo88]

I went to a church where the vast majority of the kids were homeschooled and those kids were not prepared for what was ahead. The socialization was always between likeminded families. When it came time to enter the workforce or higher education they were not prepared for the challenges that were presented to them.

My observation is that the world is diverse and dealing with difficult situations is learned at a very young age. Home school kids do not deal with the same situations as they spend the majority of the day isolated with siblings or a parent. Kids that go to school learn conflict resolution at a young age, if you do not gain that skill the result can be a difficult transition into adulthood.

These were the major problems that I saw with Home School:

1. Time management .. The attitude was if I don't get it done today there is always tomorrow.
2. Social skills.. The kids did not deal well kids that were not homeschooled.
3. Helicopter Parents.. Those parents were worse that a boss that micro-managed employees
4. Lack of College Prep.. Few parents can provide advanced classes that are necessary to reach that next level.
5. GED.. Be prepared to have your child take the GED as a home school diploma is not valid.
6. Un-qualified Parents.. The parents were not prepared for the advanced level of education that was necessary for their children to succeed.

I saw the home school scenario play out from all ages and I can say first hand it did not work out well for most..As a friend of mine said even the Amish send their children to school.

[bookwormwendy]

I went to a church where the vast majority of the kids were homeschooled and those kids were not prepared for what was ahead. The socialization was always between likeminded families. When it came time to enter the workforce or higher education they were not prepared for the challenges that were presented to them.

My observation is that the world is diverse and dealing with difficult situations is learned at a very young age. Home school kids do not deal with the same situations as they spend the majority of the day isolated with siblings or a parent. Kids that go to school learn conflict resolution at a young age, if you do not gain that skill the result can be a difficult transition into adulthood.

These were the major problems that I saw with Home School:

1. Time management .. The attitude was if I don't get it done today there is always tomorrow.
2. Social skills.. The kids did not deal well kids that were not homeschooled.
3. Helicopter Parents.. Those parents were worse that a boss that micro-managed employees
4. Lack of College Prep.. Few parents can provide advanced classes that are necessary to reach that next level.
5. GED.. Be prepared to have your child take the GED as a home school diploma is not valid.
6. Un-qualified Parents.. The parents were not prepared for the advanced level of education that was necessary for their children to succeed.

I saw the home school scenario play out from all ages and I can say first hand it did not work out well for most..As a friend of mine said even the Amish send their children to school.

I am very sorry you feel this way but respectfully ask that you not generalize based on a limited experience. My children socialize with a wide variety of people with varying backgrounds and certainly have been taught conflict management. I am sure there are, okay I know there are, those families who do not prepare their children but I know MANY and I do mean MANY home school families who now have grown, college educated children who are not social misfits who can't function outside like minded people. Conversely, I know many public school graduates who can barely read and write and are drug addicts...see what happens when we generalize? I promise not to lump your kids with the drug addicts if you promise not to lump mine with socially inept agrophobes.

[Mojo88]

I am very sorry you feel this way but respectfully ask that you not generalize based on a limited experience. My children socialize with a wide variety of people with varying backgrounds and certainly have been taught conflict management. I am sure there are, okay I know there are, those families who do not prepare their children but I know MANY and I do mean MANY home school families who now have grown, college educated children who are not social misfits who can't function outside like minded people. Conversely, I know many public school graduates who can barely read and write and are drug addicts...see what happens when we generalize? I promise not to lump your kids with the drug addicts if you promise not to lump mine with socially inept agrophobes.

I based my observation on several years with the church,baseball leagues and two sons that did an internship at the church. Your children have not graduated yet and that was the time I saw home schoolers struggle the most. In addition to the church experience I have relatives that went the home school route. Some were successful most were not. I based my opinion on over 100 children that I interacted with on a regular basis and as I stated I witnesed the end run result.

As far as the drug addict comment I have a close relative that spent a year in rehab, came out the other side and is now enrolled in college.We never know what someone has gone through and to put drug addicts in the conversation is out of bounds.

[bookwormwendy]

I based my observation on several years with the church,baseball leagues and two sons that did an internship at the church. Your children have not graduated yet and that was the time I saw home schoolers struggle the most. In addition to the church experience I have relatives that went the home school route. Some were successful most were not. I based my opinion on over 100 children that I interacted with on a regular basis and as I stated I witnesed the end run result.

As far as the drug addict comment I have a close relative that spent a year in rehab, came out the other side and is now enrolled in college.We never know what someone has gone through and to put drug addicts in the conversation is out of bounds.

I, like you, was making generalizations and meant no offense. My point is that 100 kids, all in one like minded setting is hardly a cross sample of the community at large. You are welcome to your opinions just as we are welcome to ours. If you are happy with the education your children are getting I am happy for you. Public school works for some, home schooling works for some. There is more than one valid option. I merely took exception to the fact that you dismissed home schooling as being effective for any. I chose not to use the public school system but still respect those who do, please return the favor.

[Mojo88]

I, like you, was making generalizations and meant no offense. My point is that 100 kids, all in one like minded setting is hardly a cross sample of the community at large. You are welcome to your opinions just as we are welcome to ours. If you are happy with the education your children are getting I am happy for you. Public school works for some, home schooling works for some. There is more than one valid option. I merely took exception to the fact that you dismissed home schooling as being effective for any. I chose not to use the public school system but still respect those who do, please return the favor.

I respect the fact that you have taken the time to be personally involved in your chidrens education and life. You sound as if you have made this a passion in life.

I have just one question, can you honestly say that you are personally able to teach Calculus, Chemistry or Science at a High School senior level?

[nosedog]

Sorry your education sucked so bad. Many others that have been through various forms of non-public education are doing OK and don't carry the bitterness that you do.

Funny, I thought the DamnFineBob's piece was balanced, non-judgemental and lacking in bitterness. If I were asking a question I would want people to share their experiences and observations, not just say the politically correct things.

I guess we all bring our prejudices into issues like this, me included.