So, we all love shaving. I thought it would be neat to show you the types of razors I used/use in this journey we call wet shaving.
It's not a long journey, since I am only 32- but you get the idea.
1991- I start getting the cheesy "wire stache" that most 11-12 year olds get. For Christmas my folks didn't want me to kill myself, so they got me this electric nightmare. A Phillips 2 prong electric. (With flip-out side burn trimmer on the back. It's what every 11 yr old that cannot grow sideburns needs. )
This thing shaved about as close as using a stapler on my face. When it came to grooming my neck, a piece of sand paper would have been much more useful, and more comfortable to boot. In-growns anyone?
Mid 1991 comes along, and I figure it's time for an upgrade. (Yeah, that's right..I started my AD when I was 12. How you like me now?) A local trip to the pharmacy with my Dad and I see this red hot baby staring me in my pre-pubescent face.
I don't know if you guys remember this thing, but it had these little metal bars that went horizontally across the blades. That's why Wilkinson's called it the Protector. It claimed to help you avoid nicks and cuts. Let me assure you- as a 12 year old using this (and dipping into my dad's boar hair and Williams to lather) it did not do a darn thing but make my face look like I slid face first into a cheese grater. I think Protector was a good name however...my folks swore that they would protect my life by never letting me buy this again.
1992- I am sitting at home one day watching TV. And I see this commercial for a razor that was flexible enough to shave a basketball. And I mean come on!! Who in their right mind doesn't want to shoot 3's in front of the grade 8 girls, without a BBS Spalding? (I would be foolish not to.) So, next trip into town- I buy this lovely Schick Tracer with flexible head.
It was awesome. I used it every time I had a chance. So in one year...minus the 6, divide by 3 and carry the 2. I think used it all of 6 times in 6 years. This thing gave me such a smooth shave that my older brother took notice. I later found out that he and "Major Johnson" had a closer relationship with Schick than I did. I donated the razor to him and invested immediately in a bar of soap for my face. Hydrochloric acid was not available at the time. Rest in peace razor...rest in peace.
Let's fast forward to 1998. My father was sick of my using his Gillette Trac razor, and I figured it was time to man up and get my own razor again. One that had not seen the likes of someone else's manhood. We all know this razor and likely used it once in our lives. Ah, the Mach III.
It was magnificent. It was like my first car...only smaller, shinier and probably more expensive to be honest. This baby, along with some Edge Pro Gel (TM) were my weekend ritual to attract the ladies at the local clubs. Well, my ritual worked better than my game with the ladies from time to time, but my face sure was smooth.
2006 arrives. I am one year married and as a gift, my wife gives me this fiery orange contraption that has not 1, not even 2 or 3 blades...but 5. 5 freaking blades! Not only that- it has a spot in the handle for a battery! The shaving companies have hired a mastermind. The Gillette Fusion Power is here!
I mean think of it. Centuries have passed whereby man has shaved with a rock, a stick, a cold steel sharpened blade. And then this comes along. A battery operated razor. I have to admit. It was a dandy. I was a little disappointed in that there were no turn signals or a "beeping" noise when I would back my razor up over my neck. But it did the trick. I was as smooth as I could possibly be....or was I?
2 years ago at Christmas- I received a stocking stuffer. I opened it up and to my surprise it looked almost the same as a razor that I currently owned. The thing was...there was no battery in it to send pulsating shockwaves down my face to make the hairs stand up and salute. But there was one big difference. The blades, to the trained professional eye- were even thinner on this new razor in comparison to my Fusion power. Alas- we unveil the Fusion Proglide. See below.