Wetshavers Creed

[judge]

Ok I could not resist...
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Brethren of the Badger Creed aka the WetShavers Creed


This is my razor. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My razor is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

My razor, without me, is useless. Without my razor, I am useless. I must hold my razor true. I must shave closer than my enemy who use inferior products. I must out shave him at all costs and I will...

My razor and myself know that what counts in this life is not whiskers we miss, the soaps in a can we don't use, nor the fine lather we make and lay waste to. We know that it is the Baby Butt Smooth Shaves that count. We will hit that goal 100%...

My razor is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts, its accessories, its grips and its razor angle. I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against damage. I will keep my razor clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

Before God, I swear this creed. My razor and myself are the defenders of my face. We are the masters of our enemy the beard. We are the saviors of my bare face...

So be it, until every American is a wet shaver. We few, proud, Brethren of the Badger.

Semper Fi