My little girl!

So, a few weeks ago I posted in here asking for advice on what to do about my wife's snoring. Well, I think I may have found a solution, although it may have been a bit far out of the box in terms of thinking.

My wife should be 33 weeks pregnant by now, however she is not.

On Sunday, we went into the hospital because her blood pressure had gone through the roof. Think 185 over 140. She was also already extremely swollen, and that was building quickly too. So, after an overnight stay and a whole bunch of tests she was diagnosed with preeclampsia. For those of you that don't know anything about it, it is a pregnancy induced disease. Basically, the mother's kidneys begin to shut down and she starts retaining massive amounts of liquid. This raises the blood pressure to critical levels. Left untreated it can cause seizures and possibly death. The only cure is delivery of the baby.

So, she went in for an emergency c-section very late Monday evening. My precious little girl, Allison was born on Tuesday, Dec 28 at 12:32 in the morning. She weighed 3 lbs and 10 oz. She is 17.5 inches long. Because of her pre-term birth, my daughter will be in the NICU for approx 4-6 weeks.

My wife was discharged from the hospital today. I think this has been the worst experience of my life so far, but I'm afraid of what is to come. Up to this point we have easily been able to visit our little girl, however now it is going to get much harder. I wondered anybody else has experienced this, and what they did to cope with it. Did you set a schedule on when you went to visit your baby in the NICU? How long did you stay? Any help would be appreciated.

I didn't go through this with either of my children so the only thing I can really off is this. Try to work out a some kind of a schedule, don't let your wife sit at the hospital round the clock a C-section is a very traumatic procedure and she needs time to recoup. Keep your faith and family close.

The best advice I can give you is to breathe and encourage your wife. My wife and I had triplets 11 years ago, one of the boys weighed 3lbs 12oz, the girl at 5lbs 5oz had to be put on a ventilator due to a hole in her lung and the other boy 5lbs 6oz, wasn't keeping food down. They are all in the 5th grade, playing and excelling at sports and are great kids. 6 years ago we had another daughter, there were complications, she had to be medi-flighted to OU childrens medical center where they had her on an oscillating ventillator (think 300 breaths per minute) in a room they call the ECMO unit, we got the "talk" that she had less than a 50% chance of survival and if they had to put her on the ECMO, it was 50/50 that she would ever come off of it. She is currently running around my back yard playing with her cousins and siblings, she is the star on her soccer team and is reading above her grade level in the first grade. I figure those experiences shaved 15 years off my life, it's hard to see a baby so tiny, in that much duress. Let the doctors do their job, see your daughter as much as the NICU will allow, try to keep your wife and yourself sane. There is no amount of wellwishing that will make you feel better when you walk in that room and see all that equipment connected to your daughter. Start looking forward to when, one by one they will start disconnecting those things because she is getting stronger and before you know it you'll be taking her home. I would try not to dwell on what I know you're worried about, I still have problems talking about those experiences. My wife and I are very fortunate, I wish the same for you and your wife. Congratulations on the birth of your daughter and hang in there. I will be thinking of you.

I am so sorry there were such serious complications, but congratulations on the birth of your daughter. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Spend as much time as you and your wife can with your daughter. The contact will help her more than you might imagine.

Amazing story and advice from jmallen5. I don't have any personal experiences or advice to offer. Just that we'll keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!

Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl! Being a father is wonderful.

From your post, it seems that both baby and mom are fine - just a little shaken up. A kid that small has to be under close observation - thank goodness you live in a day and an age and a country that has this kind of medical support.

A friend of mine had an almost identical situation occur this past June. SHE IS DOING FANTASTIC.

As for scheduling - spend as much or as little time there as you need. Again - this friend of mine - his wife was on maternity leave anyway, and so she spent her days in the NICU with her daughter. Her mother and step-mother, both retired, came almost every day with her. Friends and family would come by when they could to keep her company. My friend came in as soon as he was off of work, and they would go home together for dinner and to sleep. For mom, it was like going to work (except far more pleasurable), and for dad - he went and saw his kid every day after work as any dad would want to do. On the weekends, dad joined mom at the hospital for the day.

I don't know what kinds of rules and regulations exist in your hospital, but I can't see why you couldn't visit your daughter about as often as you wish.

I know that you describe this as "the worst experience of [your] life so far". But think of it - you just got to meet your daughter 7 weeks earlier, and you have the rest of your life to enjoy her and watch her grow into a woman. Fatherhood is great, and you should even enjoy the "bad" times. Celebrate the birth of your daughter and enjoy spending time with her and your wife.

You and your family are in my prayers. My wife and I are expecting our first child on Jan.19. I am looking forward to being a father.

I really feel for you. This is a great challenge. There is only so much you can do about this, though. Your job now, as her parent, it to do your part. The big problem is her tiny lungs. The NICU team will do their best. You can only pray and support. The rest is out of your hands. I feel funny saying that, but I live in a major hospital community, with family members who have experience in the ICU sections. Your role as a parent will be to monitor the situation, and to answer questions. Being there 24/7 will not make her healthier.

As in previous posts, do what makes your wife feel better. Tell her that she did a great job. She may be feeling some guilt now. That is not helpful, nor is it right. The fate of your child is simply not in your hands at this point. I am hoping for the best. Allison is a pretty name. Godspeed.

I really appreciate the kind words. Some of these responses have really helped me maintain my perspective on the whole situation. Yes, both her and mom are doing fine. My wife is dealing with a bit of pain, but nothing she hasn't powered through before.

As for my daughter, she is doing remarkably well for her early age. She only received oxygen for 2 hours after birth, and has been breathing on her own since. She can't take everything by bottle yet, and has a feeding tube, however we've been told that this is extremely normal. Every time we go into the NICU we are greeted by a nurse that can't believe how active she is. She's been described as a pistol among other things.

So yes, both of them are healthy. jmallen5's touching story really showed how much worse it could be. We don't have a problem with how she is progressing. We know she is doing well and acknowledge that if she was to come home today, that she wouldn't do so well. Our mindset was probably put best by my wife. On the way home from the NICU this evening, she commented that she felt cheated. Cheated that Allie isn't coming home with us anytime soon. She feels that we've deprived of the first month of the little one's life. It's just gut wrenching to have to walk away from the isolet and leave my little girl there overnight. I'm worried how we are to do when I go back to work next week.

Congratulations on the birth of your little girl, if even by less than ideal circumstances. How proud you must be. I do not have children and therefore have no place to make recommendations based on experience but I suspect that the right thing to do will simply come to you. I think most parents just do what feels right when it comes to anything with their children and I suspect this is no exception to the rule.

Going back to work will be a normalizing factor for you, if you have family close you may want them to stop in on your wife to make sure she is ok. I'm sure she is still under driving restrictions so she will also need someone to take her to and fro. Your wife sounds like a strong woman. Judging by your name I can guess that you served, if you and your wife were together during that time she'll have her circle of support to draw from also.

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. Right now she is in the best possible place with the right people around her. Soon she'll be home with you and your wife. The situation isn't ideal but she is where she needs to be at this moment in time.

My niece was born with some major problems and was air rushed to Seattle and she is fine today. She is going on 22 and my Great Nephew will be 10 months old in 3 days. He is really good considering he was a preemie as well at 6lbs

The doctors these days really have it down these days. So she should be ok after a while. Best of wishes and luck to your family

Your daughter should do fine, but the road will be a challenge for the next few weeks/months. The loss of time in the womb will mean that some early milestones will be delayed (and it isn't a coincidence that the delay will be about 7-8 weeks), but by the time she is 2 it won't matter any.

Congratulations. May all three of you be healthy and happy.

Phil

Congrats on the Birth of you daughter. I'm sure Baby Allison is in good hands and your wife is doing well also. My advice would be to visit her whenever you want to. Stay as long as you want to. You and your wife should talk to her, read to her, she already knows your voices, it will sooth her and make her more comfortable. Soon enough you'll be taking her home.


Good health in the future and God Speed.

A friend and his wife went through the exact same ordeal last year. Their daughter is now at home and thriving. I wish the best to you and your family.

As a premature, 3lb baby myself who was in the hospital after birth for several weeks, all I can say is hang in there. And if the docs give you doom and gloom prognoses, don't listen to them.

instpasr said:

don't let your wife sit at the hospital round the clock a C-section is a very traumatic procedure and she needs time to recoup

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I agree. I had an emergency c section also. There was a a lot more recovery than regular sceheduled c-section. I was fortunate that my daughter was full term. I would have had serious trouble leaving her at the hospital. Maybe offer to stay opposite hours so you both can sleep and rest assured your little girl is okay.

Congrats on your newest love.....

Congrats on your daughter. I hope all is gonna turn out good. All I can say is that us December babies are tough, so she is gonna pull through.

If it helps at all my mother dealt with all of this 50 years ago, and I'm still here.
I wish you and your family all the strength.