Nonessential Test

[Swampfox]

This test is meant to determine if you are nonessential or not. It was developed by the late Lewis Grizzard and is highly accurate. Please answer the following questions as honestly as possible.

1. Is is absolutely necessary that you stay awake and in an upright position while performing your duties?

2. If you walked into the boss's office and demanded a raise, would he:
a. give you the raise
b. throw you out of his office
c. mistake you for Killingsworth from Accounting who died last year

3. If you take a leave of absence and hiked the Appalachian Trail for six months and came back to work with a full beard, would anyone notice that you had been gone, or, if you're female, remark how it is not every day that you see a woman with a full beard?

4. Are you with the Ford Motor Company and presently designing a diesel Edsel?

5. If you called in sick, would the boss hire a temp to fill in, or would he say, "Killingsworth from Accounting can handle things until you get back"?

6. If you say, "Killingsworth from Accounting died last year", would the boss respond, "Too bad, he was a good man", or, "I know. That's why he'd be perfect for your job"?

7. Are you Woody Allen's weight coach?

8. If one day you didn't come in to work but sent your dog instead, what most likely would happen?
a. Nobody would notice the difference
b. The SPCA would cite you for unnecessarily boring a defenseless animal
c. Your dog would be promoted because he was overqualified for your job

9. If you had time to take this test at work, it's a good bet you're nonessential.

[Gruder]

This test is advertised as nonessential. As such, I'm not taking it

[RichGem]

Is that post dope I smell burning? No? Hmm... wrong thread, I guess.

[Swampfox]

This test is advertised as nonessential. As such, I'm not taking it

So, does that mean you are essential or nonessential?

Is that post dope I smell burning? No? Hmm... wrong thread, I guess.

I take it it you didn't pass.......

[Toff]

Me...halfpassed!
~Richard

[DE Shaver]

It appears I'm non-essential.

[bradyarz]

i am essentially the essence of being essential, except in the rare instance when, without essential forethought, i am essentially non-essential. essentially.

[Swampfox]

i am essentially the essence of being essential, except in the rare instance when, without essential forethought, i am essentially non-essential. essentially.

[Seraphim]

At work I could be an extreme: fast or slow.

But at either end of the spectrum things are not quite so advantageous. If you work fast all the time, it comes to be expected of you. If on the other hand you work slow all the time, you become a liability to your employer, and are likely to be terminated.

So, that leaves woking somewhere in the middle.

I decided that instead of working half slow that my work will instead remain half fast

[mdunn]

pinged on #9

[Swampfox]

I decided that instead of working half slow that my work will instead remain half fast

pinged on #9

[Prince]

pinged on #9

Crap, I was doing good on the test until this question came up.

[Swampfox]

Crap, I was doing good on the test until this question came up.

rotflol