This test is meant to determine if you are nonessential or not. It was developed by the late Lewis Grizzard and is highly accurate. Please answer the following questions as honestly as possible.
1. Is is absolutely necessary that you stay awake and in an upright position while performing your duties?
2. If you walked into the boss's office and demanded a raise, would he:
a. give you the raise
b. throw you out of his office
c. mistake you for Killingsworth from Accounting who died last year
3. If you take a leave of absence and hiked the Appalachian Trail for six months and came back to work with a full beard, would anyone notice that you had been gone, or, if you're female, remark how it is not every day that you see a woman with a full beard?
4. Are you with the Ford Motor Company and presently designing a diesel Edsel?
5. If you called in sick, would the boss hire a temp to fill in, or would he say, "Killingsworth from Accounting can handle things until you get back"?
6. If you say, "Killingsworth from Accounting died last year", would the boss respond, "Too bad, he was a good man", or, "I know. That's why he'd be perfect for your job"?
7. Are you Woody Allen's weight coach?
8. If one day you didn't come in to work but sent your dog instead, what most likely would happen?
a. Nobody would notice the difference
b. The SPCA would cite you for unnecessarily boring a defenseless animal
c. Your dog would be promoted because he was overqualified for your job
9. If you had time to take this test at work, it's a good bet you're nonessential.
<Ray>Uncle of Chaos Gurl, Captain Excitement and Little Biscuit.