i heard a pastor speak of this as topic of his sermon...very interesting...
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids!
Posted by Dr. Laura Berman
on Tue, Jan 23, 2007, 11:26 am PST
Believe it or not, couples who don't make their children the center of their universe end up raising healthier children. In being happy with each other, they give their kids the greatest gift of all: a solid marriage for them to learn from and, one day, replicate in their own lives. Not to mention, these couples save themselves in the process.
It's a radical concept these days to say "no" to the pressure to be a perfect parent. Three-year-olds are interviewed for the most coveted preschool because of the domino-effect -- the preschool determines the rest of school which determines college which determines the path of an adult's life. A bit much for both parent and child, wouldn't you say?
And if you're not gunning for the elite school, it's the after-school activities or the perfect home that is sucking all of your energy into its vortex.
A recent large-scale study found that 62% of women without children reported high marital satisfaction, while just 38% of mothers did so. The study also found that couples who became parents over the last decade experienced a drop in marriage satisfaction twice as large as that reported by parents in the 1960s and 1970s.
Today, women especially feel that if they are not giving everything of themselves -- emotionally, physically and logistically -- then they are not being good mothers. Raising kids is among the most important jobs there is, but so is nurturing a loving, happy relationship with your lifelong partner.
Instead of giving into the myth or the expectation that marriages lose their spark when the kids come around, we need to refocus our energies on the husband-wife relationship and nurture the passionate connection. It's not easy and it's not common, but one day you'll thank yourself for doing it.
Love your children...with all your heart. But be in love with your husband or wife.
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids!
Posted by Dr. Laura Berman
on Tue, Jan 23, 2007, 11:26 am PST
Believe it or not, couples who don't make their children the center of their universe end up raising healthier children. In being happy with each other, they give their kids the greatest gift of all: a solid marriage for them to learn from and, one day, replicate in their own lives. Not to mention, these couples save themselves in the process.
It's a radical concept these days to say "no" to the pressure to be a perfect parent. Three-year-olds are interviewed for the most coveted preschool because of the domino-effect -- the preschool determines the rest of school which determines college which determines the path of an adult's life. A bit much for both parent and child, wouldn't you say?
And if you're not gunning for the elite school, it's the after-school activities or the perfect home that is sucking all of your energy into its vortex.
A recent large-scale study found that 62% of women without children reported high marital satisfaction, while just 38% of mothers did so. The study also found that couples who became parents over the last decade experienced a drop in marriage satisfaction twice as large as that reported by parents in the 1960s and 1970s.
Today, women especially feel that if they are not giving everything of themselves -- emotionally, physically and logistically -- then they are not being good mothers. Raising kids is among the most important jobs there is, but so is nurturing a loving, happy relationship with your lifelong partner.
Instead of giving into the myth or the expectation that marriages lose their spark when the kids come around, we need to refocus our energies on the husband-wife relationship and nurture the passionate connection. It's not easy and it's not common, but one day you'll thank yourself for doing it.
Love your children...with all your heart. But be in love with your husband or wife.
