Tattoos

Why do girls think these look attractive? My significant other of 2.5 years just went and got a 3rd one (her other two are between her shoulders and on her waste, so effectively beneath clothing). This time, she got a visible one on her wrist without even asking my opinion before she did it.

If my wife decided to get a tattoo, I wouldn't expect her to ask my opinion about it, unless she wanted help deciding which one to get. It's her body and there's no reason to get upset with what she decides to do with it.

Im not really a fan of them.

It would have been nice for her to talk to you first about this. What is it a tatoo of?
You shouldnt get upset about it, its not gona just rub off, so it wouldnt help.
Tatoo or not she is still her. Maybee it will grow on you. I know what a shock changes like that can be.

I am married so my situation is a bit different i guess.
She hasnt gotten tatooed but she has out of no where drastically changed her hair color and style. (color job was bad etc.).
Before any decision like that is made(major purchases,job decisions, me shaving my head, her dying her hair), we now talk about it so we can make sure its not for a bad reason, it is in line with our beliefs, we have thought of some of the reprocussions (how it affects work, upkeep costs etc., how it affects the other), and it is done as well as possible (she deserves the best).

We vowed to be one, so we act as one.

We keep Spontaneity for things like outings and small gifts etc.

sorry for blabbering on

I have a whole sleeve on my right arm so I can't say anything about it...

I have 16 and my wife has a nice Japanese geisha on her shoulder. Tats I can't stand on women is the dumb tweety bird, dolphins, and for goodness sake anyone that gets a name tattooed on them.

I got one overseas before I met my wife. She hates it so much she's threatened on occasion to sedate me and have it laser removed.

I think nicely done tattoos look good on a woman. My wife has 6 and I have 8 myself. I am all for tattoos, but putting them in a spot that can't be covered with clothing is something my wife and I agree is a bad idea. I am self employed so I could get away with it, but I wouldn't want to lose a prospective client based on some visible tattoo.

I don't have any (except the one that Jim took me to get when I was passed out in NY ) and neither does my wife. That said, if she wanted one, I wouldn't expect her to consult me. I'd consult her out of courtesy if I were inclined to get one, but I don't care if she does or not. I think tattoos can be quite attractive, but it depends on the quality of the work and the subject matter...

Tattoos are a deeply personal thing (or at least they should be). Picking one off a wall (Flash) IMO is never a good idea. Why would I want to permanently mark my body with something countless others could be (and probably are) sporting. I got my first Tattoo in Saudi Arabia shortly after Operation IRAQI FREEDOM kicked off. It has several meanings all of which will be as important to me when it is a faded wrinkled mess on my 90 year old arms as it did the day it was put there.

I agree with the OP it is socially more acceptable for a man to have tattoos than a woman.

WittyAg said:

Why do girls think these look attractive? My significant other of 2.5 years just went and got a 3rd one (her other two are between her shoulders and on her waste, so effectively beneath clothing). This time, she got a visible one on her wrist without even asking my opinion before she did it.

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This has come up on the boards before. I agree with you that women should be very choosey as to where they get a tattoo. Personally I don't like anything on a woman's wrists, ankles and especially not her chest/breast(s). I'm also not a fan of the "tramp stamp" though I have actually seen a couple of women that could pull it off. I prefer a woman that has tattoos that can easily be covered with normal everyday clothing. That said, it is her body. I think it would have been nice of her to discuss it with you since you've been together a couple of years but as others said, no point in getting upset as its already there. Now if she were your wife I'd agree you have every reason to be furious.

chainfire said:

If my wife decided to get a tattoo, I wouldn't expect her to ask my opinion about it, unless she wanted help deciding which one to get. It's her body and there's no reason to get upset with what she decides to do with it.

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I disagree, if my WIFE decided to get a tattoo I would absolutely expect her to ask my opinion just as I would discuss my intentions with her. As long as we are bound by the laws of marriage (be it religious or mans law) her body is mine and vice-versa. Now if she were a girlfriend, yes it would be nice of her to ask/discuss but you really have nothing to stand on.

Fortunately for me the only tattoo my wife has is a very small tattoo in a location only I'll ever see and it is something she holds very dear. It has deep personal meaning and isn't some off the wall flash that half the 16 year old girls in America's High Schools are now sporting.

Both my wife and I have tattoos so I'm obviously not 'anti-tattoo'. However, I will say it was insensitive of her to get a tattoo (regardless of where), without telling you beforehand.

I'm sure your opinion wouldn't have mattered to her and she would have done whatever she wanted anyway, but you still should have been informed. Just my opinion though.

I know where the my body is her body/her body is my body concept comes from. However, I don't think that is necessarily applicable to this type of situation. I don't think you'd expect her to consult you about additional piercings, diet changes, work out programs, etc. (all applicable because they will absolutely affect her appearance). I'd be cool with it because I have a deep respect for and absolute confidence in my wife. Another YMMV situation here, I guess...

Sorry, Ray

I'm not completely opposed to tats as long as they are done with some thought behind them. If a woman has a honest piece of skin art done tastefully and maintains a physique that compliments it, great. If she falls prey to the bumper sticker syndrome, she just ends up looking like a mess.

Oh, and if you don't look good nude, a tat won't help you.

Protocol said:

Oh, and if you don't look good nude, a tat won't help you.

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What about tatooing on some clothes, like painted on clothed but perminent?

Some people choose to buy art and hang it on a wall for no one to see except a few passersby. Me, I take mine everywhere I go and show it off and there's no way it's getting stolen....

JECIII said:

What about tatooing on some clothes, like painted on clothed but perminent?

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Seriously though. A tattoo, done right, can be an interesting accent to an already beautiful woman. Unfortunately, it will do absolutely nothing to help a woman who isn't already easy to look at. Additionally, tattoos done poorly or not well thought out can have the unwanted effect of ruining an otherwise fantastic look. Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox are two perfect examples of horrible skin art. Kat Von Dee is a pretty solid example of it done right.

SlagleRock said:

I disagree, if my WIFE decided to get a tattoo I would absolutely expect her to ask my opinion just as I would discuss my intentions with her. As long as we are bound by the laws of marriage (be it religious or mans law) her body is mine and vice-versa. Now if she were a girlfriend, yes it would be nice of her to ask/discuss but you really have nothing to stand on.

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I 100% completely agree with the fact that spouses (and serious partners) should usually discuss things like this. I myself can't really imagine my wife just running off and getting a tattoo without at least discussing it with me, but that's how our relationship is. We both feel a healthy relationship has to have healthy communications.

In cases like these, it may eventually boil down to an agree to disagree situation. In such cases, I'm not confrontational and would rather just let her do what makes her happy - therefore, something like a tattoo is ultimately going to be her decision.

I hate to be in a situations where there's either no compromise or communication. If one partner feels like their opinion is invalidated or not heard, you're bound to have resentment. I'd just rather not resent my spouse over something that genuinely makes her happy.

All this talk about wives getting tattoos without permission reminds me of one of the dirtiest jokes I know.

I take the transference psychodynamic approach that says this:

Things that really bother you say more about your fears and shortcomings than anything else. For instance, men who try very hard to control the behavior of their wives are actually struggling with their own commitment issues.

If tattoos on your significant other get to you, ask yourself why? Look more into what you consider your own inadequacies and you will most likely find the answer as to why you have a negative opinion about them, or why you feel strongly about anything, for that matter.

Just my .02, no offense intended.

chainfire said:

I 100% completely agree with the fact that spouses (and serious partners) should usually discuss things like this. I myself can't really imagine my wife just running off and getting a tattoo without at least discussing it with me, but that's how our relationship is. We both feel a healthy relationship has to have healthy communications.

In cases like these, it may eventually boil down to an agree to disagree situation. In such cases, I'm not confrontational and would rather just let her do what makes her happy - therefore, something like a tattoo is ultimately going to be her decision.

I hate to be in a situations where there's either no compromise or communication. If one partner feels like their opinion is invalidated or not heard, you're bound to have resentment. I'd just rather not resent my spouse over something that genuinely makes her happy.

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This is why I would tell her if I would do it, but I couldn't care less if she came to me first. I agree with healthy communication being a foundation to a great marriage, but what she does with her appearance isn't something that I'm prepared to care about. She's come home with different hair styles, colors, etc. on numerous occasions and I didn't feel slighted because I wasn't consulted. While a tattoo is more severe, if you feel like you need to be consulted about that, the reasoning goes back to all the other things that I mentioned as examples.

If it's going to be her decision, and you're going to go along with whatever she wants anyway, why insist on her talking to you about it first. I can understand if you would object potentially, but why if you would just go along with whatever she wants? My deal is that I don't fight with my wife. I'm secure in our relationship. I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve. Therefore, I wouldn't care if she came home with a tattoo without discussing it with me first...

I think tatoos are passe, especially since everyone and there mothers have one now. Everyone is already an individual, if your insecure with this individuality, you may need to use methods (i.e. tatoos, body piercing) to convince others of this anyway.

I think the exceptions are people who are serving in the armed forces or people who have either spent time in prison or intend to end up there at some in their life time (in order to avoid having to endure unsanitary tatooing methods used in prisons). Another possibility is if you are a swash buckling pirate, then it's a requirement.

I think your wife should have discussed the tatoo with you prior to getting it. I understand that it is her body, but from this information it would appear that your relationship may have some flaws.

I don't have any tatoos nor do I intend to get one.