Brush Ballads Contest #8 (Australia and New Zealand Only)

[SRock]

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry! Step right up folks and win a prize!

In the spirit of the famed Australian Bush Ballads I give you "Brush Ballads",

At the request of the donating vendor, this contest is going to be for our fine members residing in Australia and New Zealand only.

This contest ends on 10/24/09 so get your typing fingers ready!

Are you excited yet?!?!

I know what you are thinking, "What's the prize, what's the prize, what's the prize!?!?!?"

The generous prize for this contest has been donated by MensBiz:

www.mensbiz.com.au

For your pleasure they've put together a generous shaving kit including a Merkur HD Razor, Pure Badger Shaving Brush, GFT Shaving Cream Bowl (200g) and an assortment of blades. This is nearly a $200 AUD value!!



So, now you are asking yourself, "What do I have to do to get in on the action?"

Really it's quite simple. To be entered in this contest you must submit your very best Brush Ballad. Brush Ballad??? This contest is in the spirit of the famed Bush Ballads of Australia such as those found in the collections of Banjo Patterson and John Meredith and heard throughout the outback. Your ballad should be about your favorite shaving brush or that Holy Grail of brushes you long so dearly to own. While original Brush Ballads are preferred you may feel free to pick your favorite Bush Ballad and edit/altar as needed so that it applies to this contest.

Each Brush Ballad that you submit will count as one entry and you may enter as many Ballads as you like. Once the entry period is over your friendly mod team will narrow it down to the top 5 and put them to a member vote (voting will be open to all members of Badger & Blade not just those competing in this contest or residing in Oz and NZ).

Once the top 5 are chosen, voting will be open for 48 hours. Once voting is complete the winner will be announced and contacted for shipping information.

Again this contest is open only to members living in Australia or New Zealand.

For those international members who might be reading this, if you are curious what a Bush Ballad is have a look here.

Operation Smile
(Please don't forget to mention B&B)

*A donation to Operation Smile is not required to win.

**Badger & Blade.com is not affiliated with Operation Smile nor does B&B derive any benefit from donations made in the name of Badger & Blade.com.

*** Prizes may be subject to change.

**** The final decision on the outcome of all contests rest within the sole discretion of the Moderators and all decisions are final. Any belly-aching will result in an automatic disqualification and removal from any further participation in any other contests for the duration of the Carnival.

*****B&B is not responsible for any prizes that are undelivered to recipient from vendors and/or companies.

Operation Smile

[TSWebster]

Awesome idea for a contest, I'm looking forward to coming up with a little something of my own and of course seeing what everyone else writes.

[fidjit]

Well done Nathan for giving us Aussies and Kiwis a special chance during the carnival.

I hate competitions like these where I dunno if I should go first, or keep my cards hidden and wait till the last day.

Here ya go, maybe inspiration for others ( not too much I hope )

The Ballad of Outback Butterscotch

"They start off white"
the drover said
"And then they start to mellow.
A chemical reaction
makes the catalin go yellow"

He took his brumby far and wide
In search of yellow candy.
Through forest, bush and river beds
And deserts that were sandy.

Until his dying days he searched
His eyes always awatch
His life ambition was to find
Elusive Butterscotch.



BTW Nathan or whatever evil person came up with this competition, do you know how hard it is to find a word that rhymes with badger ??????

P.S. Slaglerock, if it's just for us "Southerners", can't you at least put the close date in the right format ???? ( DD/MM/YY )

[Luc]

Great idea!

Two thumbs up to B&B and Nathan!

[Ironman06]

Great contest idea. That was my first B(r)ush Song and a nice start to the entries. Come-on guys get out from "under" there and sing us some songs!!!

[fidjit]

A Tasmanian/Australian edumacational© ballad ( see hyperlinks )

Short but not so sweet


From outback station far and wide
In search of perfect brush
He tried all manner of bristle and hair
To give him lather most lush.
Hair of Thylacine, Drop bear and Roo
Koala and Yowie, Devil too
He found that badger was a farce
The finest bristle was from a Bunyip's ars......


Guess who's trying to avoid the list of jobs wifey left him today

[TSWebster]

Way down south in the great land of bush and desert
There live a group of mates who suffer a strange addiction
This mob dream of shaving brushes
For gaining shaving gear is their odd affliction
To have this disease will leave a bloke
Wanting any brush which can be found
Whether boar, synthetic or badger
They will surely be a cadger
When it comes to laying hands on it.

(See Ian there is a rhyme for badger )

[fidjit]

I knew I shouldn't have put the challenge out Tom and it's even VERY appropriate

This ballad is actually based on real events:

There was movement at Mensbiz for the word had passed around
Their boss Nathan , was on holidays and nowhere in the town
"Free shipping" was the cry from them "and BB Promo too
We'll also take a holiday , hope we don't get in the poo !"


BIG apologises to Banjo Paterson.

"Hello, yes dear...how many jobs have I done on the list ?? Yes but I've written three ballads umm no they're not love ballads for you they're about ummmm.....ahhhhh ............ "

[lenard]

Geez Ian you must want this bad , why don't you clean that shack of yours . Time to brush up on my bush poetry!

[TSWebster]

I think I can butcher Patterson even worse, although this one isn't brush specific.

The Chatroom Shaving Club


It was somewhere up the country, in a land of rock and scrub,
That they formed an institution called the Chatroom Shaving Club.
There were long and cleanly shaven natives from the rugged mountain side,
There was no jaw around that the chat boys couldn't smooth with a Gillette slide;
But their style of shaving was rough and could cause a nasty shaving rash --
They had mighty little science, but a mighty lot of dash:
And they shaved with straight razors made of the finest Sheffield strong,
Though their blades were quite unpolished, and their hone wear marks long.
And they used to hone their razors on a rock out in the scrub;
They were demons, were the members of the Chatroom Shaving Club.

It was somewhere down the country, in a city's smoke and steam,
That a shaving club existed, called the "Forum Poster Team".
As a social institution 'twas a marvellous success,
For the members were distinguished by exclusiveness and dress.
They had natty little DEs that were nice, and smooth, and sleek,
Their cultivated owners used them in rotation throughout the week.
So they started up the country in pursuit of a fight over a shave,
For they meant to show the chat boys how they really ought to behave;
And they took their Dopp kits with them should their faces need a scrub
Ere they started operations on the Chatroom Shaving Club.

Now my readers can imagine how the hot water ebbed and flowed,
When the Chat boys got going it was time to clear the road;
And the shave off was so terrific that ere half the time was gone
A spectator's face was clean shaven -- just from merely looking on.
For they lathered one another till the plain was strewn with dead,
For it became so BBS that none could save his head.
And the Forum Poster Captain, when he tumbled over with a sigh
Was the last surviving player -- so surely shavepocalypse was nigh.

Then the Captain of the Chat Boys raised up slowly from the ground,
Though his nicks and razor burn were mortal, he fiercely gazed around;
There was no one to oppose him -- all the rest were in a trance,
So he scrambled for his razor for his last expiring chance,
For he meant to make an effort to get victory to his side;
So he went against the grain -- and missed it -- tumbled over and died.

* * * * * * * *

By the old Badger River, where the tallow fattens up,
There's a row of little gravestones that causes little holdup,
They bear a crude inscription saying, "Stranger, drop a tear,
For the Forum Poster players and the Chatroom boys lie here."
And on misty moonlit evenings, while the dingoes howl around,
You can see their shadows flitting down that phantom barber ground;
You can hear the loud collisions as the flying players meet,
The rattle of the razor doors, and stropping oh so fleet,
Till the terrified spectator rides like blazes to the pub --
He's been haunted by the spectres of the Chatroom Shaving Club.

[Topgumby]

Good stuff!

[Hughies_online]

A Father's Duty

You want a badger brush my son,
but the badgers, they run away.
You're too slow with ya rifle boy,
you'll have no brush today.

You have some lovely curly birch,
for the handle that you made.
But you need a knot to fix to it,
of badger, highest grade.

So come on boy, go get ya gun,
we'll see what we can find.
There's no badgers in them fields,
a boar hunt comes to mind.

Don't worry about what Fidgit says,
Not "devils, koala or 'roo".
Will make the perfect shaving brush,
but we'll use them in the stew.

So come on son, go grab ya gun,
Lets go out to play.
If my bloody son does not get his knot,
There will be hell to pay!

[fidjit]

]The Chatroom Shaving Club

A Father's Duty

[lenard]

The Brush

There was movement at the forums, for the word had passed around
A new brush was available, it was the finest to be found.

With its exquisite carved handle and attractive carry case,
the touch of lather and bristles was like a lovers warm embrace.

Like a dingo that prevents its pups from becoming a foxes meal,
this brush will protect its user from the deadly caress of steel.

Truely this brush is the finest ever made,
and worthy of the hallmark the 'Badger & Blade'.

[spinyeel]

Tons of talent Down Under.Shame I don't have any.Go for it fella's.

[fidjit]

Fantastic

They're getting more epic all the time and it's only day one !

Pity this old brain's best efforts have been used up now with my (not ) so epic B(r)ush ballads above.

I'm down to limericks now

I once knew a comely young lassie
Who was classy and brilliant and sassie
Whether Badger or Boar
No one ever saw
What she used to shave her map of Tassie .

( Not sure if anyone outside of Aus/NZ will get this one, but that's probably a good thing )

[Hughies_online]

I once knew a comely young lassie
Who was classy and brilliant and sassie
Whether Badger or Boar
No one ever saw
What she used to shave her map of Tassie .

Nice one Ian!

[SRock]

BTW Nathan or whatever evil person came up with this competition, do you know how hard it is to find a word that rhymes with badger ??????

P.S. Slaglerock, if it's just for us "Southerners", can't you at least put the close date in the right format ???? ( DD/MM/YY )

I would be that evil person. I will admit though it was one of you fine Aussie gents that introduced me to the Bush Ballads in the first place.

Oh and no, I won't change the date format.

[Luc]

I would be that evil person. I will admit though it was one of you fine Aussie gents that introduced me to the Bush Ballads in the first place.

Oh and no, I won't change the date format.

[SRock]

Keep 'em coming fellas! Remember you can enter as many as you like.