Etiquette question -- elevators

**Buzz** · 12-04-2006, 08:54 PM

Okay, my guiding rule of gentlemanly behavior is that a gentleman should always open a door for a lady. If the door is automatic or it is just a doorway (no actual door to be opened), then the rule is "ladies first." Okay... clear enough so far.

However, I just started working a building where elevators are a necessity.

In the morning rush, I'm standing in the building lobby waiting on one of the six elevators to arrive in the lobby. When the doors open, I allow any ladies standing nearby to enter first. Each elevator only holds 6-8 people. At peak times, there is a constant stream of people arriving in the lobby. If I let all the waiting ladies go in front of me, then they will fill up the elevator. More are arriving as well, so waiting forever doesn't seem practical.

Question 1 - How long must I wait before just getting on, even if there are ladies waiting?

Okay... so I finally see an opening and jump on.

Since I'm last person on, I'm now standing closest to the door in the center of the elevator.

Question 2 - When arriving at my floor, do I exit the elevator first (making way for the ladies behind me) or try to awkwardly turn sideways, hold the door, and let the ladies squeeze past me?

**Xert** · 12-04-2006, 09:06 PM

2. Definitely exit the elevator first.

**htownmmm** · 12-04-2006, 10:17 PM

Exit-stage left.

Marty

**rtaylor61** · 12-04-2006, 10:34 PM

Actually, a gentleman enters the elevator before a lady...in case it should plummet to the ground floor!

Randy

**Sue** · 12-04-2006, 10:52 PM

Bill,
It's my opinion that you don't need to think of the elevator door as you would a regular door. Go ahead and get into the elevator with the others who are waiting. Same thing when getting off. I may be wrong here but I wouldn't think it was bad manners.

Upon leaving a building with a door, it's not unusual to have the door let go in my face by younger men. I'd be appalled if my nine year old grandson didn't hold the door for "anyone". Manners seem to be lost on some of the younger generation.
Sue

**zachster** · 12-04-2006, 11:36 PM

I agree with Sue -- elevators are a different beast entirely than doors. You run the risk of annoying everybody with the "oh no, sir, after YOU!" routine when another fellow decides to be gentlemanly as well. I let people on or off elevators before me, and step out when appropriate, but only within reason -- like if they were there before me, or I am clearly blocking their path. You have your business to go about, just like everyone else who is waiting to get on or off the elevator, and they all understand that.

**surfanimal** · 12-04-2006, 11:52 PM

My routine for elevators:

If there are no ladies, just get on and get off.

If there are ladies present, let ladies in until I'm the last person on the elevator (since the VAST majority of men around here don't have manners at all anymore) I'll be the first to get out, and hold the elevator door for everyone to get out/next batch of people to enter.

**doctorsimon** · 12-05-2006, 12:43 AM

You are a true gentleman, sir.

How do you be gentlemanly and still get to work?

1. I always put my arm across the door to prevent it closing on others. Then make my way in as passenger number 6.
2. Likewise, I leave the elevator to let people behind me out, putting my hand across the door before entering again to complete my journey.
3. I do not make any further gestures on my way out. Others can follow my good example. (They generally don't though.)

**MJB** · 12-05-2006, 03:24 AM

My tendency is if there is a time and space crunch--wait in line like all others and then first come first serve, when its your turn on you go. It there are a few waiting and plenty of room, its just seems natural for me to allow the women in first--no big chivalry thing really, I guess that I have just been trained to do it that way.

**puros_bran** · 12-05-2006, 05:19 AM

Dont get me wrong I'll hold the door for anyone. The Mrs accuses me of wanting to be a doorman

, but elevators dont count in my book. Its first in line,first on. Last on first off. Just my .02

**ouch** · 12-05-2006, 05:42 AM

The answers to both questions are the same- it depends on how they look.

Yeah. go on. Tell me otherwise.

**moses** · 12-05-2006, 06:30 AM

Alright. Here's the real answers.

First, proper elevator etiquette is that a gentleman lets a lady into the elevator first, as it is an automatic door. EXCEPT if there is no one in the car already, in which case the man enters first (presumably to make sure it is safe). This second part of the rule is especially outdated, although correct, and odds are that almost no woman is going to recognize your courtesy by entering before her. So I would ignore that rule, correct though it may be, unless you are just looking for a way to feel better about getting in first (but see below).

In a business setting, the above rule of etiquette does not generally apply. You can follow it if you wish, but neither etiquette nor civilized behavior requires it. In the business world, you are among equals, remember? Just follow basic courtesy (don't push in front of people, try to hold the door for people rushing to catch it, etc.).

As for question 2, I would suggest the greatest courtesy is by simply clearing the area, to avoid . Turning to hold the door is not a bad option to allow one or more persons (men or women) who you are with or in conversation with to exit.

-Mo

**Larry C in Texas** · 12-05-2006, 06:30 AM

Here's my main rule of elevator etiquette:

If you have to "float an air biscuit", as soon as the odor becomes noticeable, find the oldest person on the elevator and give them a hard look and an audible "sigh" as you roll your eyes. Then, vacate the elevator at the first possible moment after the door opens, only pausing to let the old lady with the walker out.

This has worked for nearly 50 years for me.

**ouch** · 12-05-2006, 06:55 AM

Originally Posted by Larry C in Texas

Here's my main rule of elevator etiquette:

If you have to "float an air biscuit", as soon as the odor becomes noticeable, find the oldest person on the elevator and give them a hard look and an audible "sigh" as you roll your eyes. Then, vacate the elevator at the first possible moment after the door opens, only pausing to let the old lady with the walker out.

This has worked for nearly 50 years for me.

That may not be the best tip I've read on this site, but it's in the top ten.

**Sue** · 12-05-2006, 07:59 AM

Oh Lord.....

If I'm in an elevator, I guess you could blame it on my dog and not pick on an innocent elder.
Sue

**Larry C in Texas** · 12-05-2006, 08:11 AM

Originally Posted by Sue

Oh Lord.....

If I'm in an elevator, I guess you could blame it on my dog and not pick on an innocent elder.
Sue

OK, Sue. If I happen to be in an elevator with you and your dog, I promise I will blame it on your poor defenseless dog and not pick on an "old".

**Tony Miller** · 12-05-2006, 09:19 AM

I once remember being told "you don't have to hold the door because I am a woman" to which I replied " I didn't, I held it because I am a gentleman"

If first to a door I hold it for anyone, my assistant, a woman, holds it for me or anyone male or female if she gets there first

Tony

**Gatorade** · 12-05-2006, 09:31 AM

In that situation I would take the stairs.

Makes my legs look better as well.

**vespergo** · 12-05-2006, 10:06 AM

yeah, just get in the elevator... no pushing though.

**moses** · 12-05-2006, 11:14 AM

Originally Posted by Gatorade

In that situation I would take the stairs.

Makes my legs look better as well.

I don't know about him, but I work on the 42nd floor. :)

Actually, I would strongly consider your advice anyway. I grew up in the mountains. Living in a city, where everthing is flat, is annoying. I go home and go hiking, and die. Even though I walk five miles a day, and try to run as well.

But, unfortunately, the doors cannot be opened from inside the stairwell, for security reasons. Bah.

-Mo